How Some Guys Make Online Dating Terrible for the Rest of Us

The anonymity allowed by online dating is kind of amazing for those of us with major social anxiety. Lack the confidence to go up and ask for a girl's number? No worries, you can now type your request one word at a time, and if you chicken out? You can always come back and hit send later. Stammering through face to face date proposals and having to pretend you're fine when she turns you down?

How Some Guys Make Online Dating Terrible for the Rest of Us.

A thing of the past. Now we can edit that awkward pickup line before we hit send, and mourn in our room when it doesn't turn out right.

But it's still terrible.

Online dating does help lower your inhibitions if you're just a dude looking for a way to nicely get to know some girls, but from what I hear it does the same thing for a whole lot of guys who are looking to make vulgar passes at any girl they come across. Which means that even though it should be way easier to talk to these girls without the whole reality thing getting in the way, it's actually just as hard because when they're surrounded with sexual harassment, the girls are super on edge.

And with good reason. I can't tell you how many times I've messaged a girl who seemed really impatient with me only to have her say that she's sorry, but that she's already talked to ten guys who asked her to do some kind of depraved sex act in the first few minutes of talking and she was prepared for me to do the same. And it's not even that girls think all guys are going to harass them, but it happens enough that they have to be prepared in case they do and that makes online dating suck for all of us.

Obviously it's super messed up to go trying to make women uncomfortable. I'm not trying to take away from that at all. My point is that we know being misogynist has terrible effects on women, but we don't always talk about how it makes things worse for guys, too. After hearing all these stories of what some guys have said, we feel like we have to go in already apologizing on behalf of our gender, and we shouldn't have to feel that way.

So literally nothing good comes from sexually harassing girls on the internet. Obviously not for girls, but not for guys either. So don't.


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  • What are the best dating apps in your opinion? As a disclaimer, for someone that is looking for a relationship and not just a hookup (Tinder)

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