5 Easy Steps to Follow To Become the Perfect Feminine Black Girl (aka Little Kim)

From horrid to something else:

Easy steps you can follow to be the perfect feminine black girl aka Pulling a little Kim.

Step 1: Perm your hair/wear weaves.

Guys like girls with long straight hair so screwing up your head to the point where it can't be saved is totally the way to go if you want to catch yourself a man.

No man likes curly natural hair like this woman's on a black girl.

Step 2: Skin bleach.

Who care if the side effects involve skin damage and/or skin cancer? Light skin is the right skin right? Men like lighter skinned women so if you're darker skinned, and even if you're naturally light skinned you should totally give skin bleaching a try. The lighter the better I always say.

No one finds dark skinned women like these girls attractive.

Step 3: Get plastic surgery.

Men will say they want a girl who's all natural, but lets me honest here...men hate the button noses black girls come with. So getting plastic surgery on the nose is something every black woman should do. They shouldn't do it for themselves, but because they'll look more attractive to other people.

This nose is EWWW.

But this one is on point.

Step 4: Be vulnerable, hyper feminine, and "humble yourselves".

Since we're viewed as the most "masculine" when it comes to women of different races this step will help you seem more feminine personality wise in the eyes of other people:


1) Always whisper. Apparently we're all loud and sound like Shaquayquay down the block.

2) Don't try to defend yourself/get angry when people are shitting on you just for being a black woman. If someone say's black women are mean, loud, aggressive, baby mama's, and ghetto she beasts you're suppose to just nod in agreement, and you do they will use that "you're just a typical black bitch" label on you when they're really the ones in the wrong.

3) Keep your head down and cry about everything. It'll make you seem more vulnerable/feminine. Any form of confidence showing is a big no-no since it'll come off as having an aggressive attitude.

3) Smile even when you have nothing to smile about/are being severely criticized. When a black woman is not smiling or gets annoyed when something negative has fucked up her day then there's obviously something wrong with her. You have to remember no one will ask you why you're angry, and they don't care enough to ask about why you're upset.

4) Laugh, always laugh no matter how stupid the joke is. Don't call someone out on their lame joke, but laugh at it instead.

5) If there's food always stick to salads/greens.

Step 5: Don't wear something tight or short. Look more "feminine" by wearing things like these:

Sundresses (despite how hideous they are) look super feminine in the eyes of others.

T-shirt and jeans aka look like a mom who has no style of her own.

Flat shoes are also "super feminine". No fun heels for you unless they're like 1 inch off the ground.

This advice should help those of you who want to impress turds and jerks who care more about appearance than getting to know the real you by treating you like a decent human being no matter what you look like. Don't do things for yourself. Do them for assholes who will only date you if you fit ridiculous standards.

This myTake is obviously SATIRE.


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What Guys Said 19

  • Black women don't do this stuff to appeal to men. They do it because they want to, and in some ways it's because they're trying to go against the grain, and in all the wrong ways. It's always humorous to me the way females try to blame how they change their looks on guys.

    What's also curious is that you - and some other girls who've posted things like these - are complaining about how terrible men's expectations are in women, yet when guys are talking about how bad women's "high standards" are, girls just say they're whining.

    Nah, go back to the drawing board.

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    • Either you're really clueless to what happens to other people and who say these types of things to them, or you're really that dumb. The only reason why many black women even start doing this is because of pressure to fit into some idiotic standard people have set. I can't count how man times other black women and I have heard men (and some women) say that black women would look better if they fit a standard that they really shouldn't pay any mind to. Why don't you get out of your own god damn bubble and pay attention to the type of bullying that other people go through? You're not the only one who goes through shit about their looks, fam. People wouldn't post them if the things being done and said to them didn't actually happen. If things like that weren't said to people then myTakes like mine and the others that you've seen wouldn't be made, but you're not smart enough to figure that out. And there are women out there with some ridiculous sky high standard, but since I'm not a man...

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    • @xXiTacoXx Kid, you really try to hard to sound smart and fall short doing it. Nowhere in the world have I ever heard of black women doing all that stuff because people told them to. You might be able to convince some other people, but you can't make me your fool. If people really thought all that stuff is how black women should look, then they should be glorified for it more often. What it is is more of your typical blame game. I'm not attracting people with the styles I choose so it's their fault and not mine. No matter how you slice it, that's what it's always gonna boil down to.

    • Seriously, you're the only one who falls short of sounding smart. The only thing you're showing is denial that people have actually said these things to black women. You can ask any black woman you'd come across if people criticize black women for their looks or not and they'll tell you the same thing. Hell, even the natural hair movement is becoming more popular because black women are sick of being told what is and is not beautiful. You're literally the only one in the comment section in denial of society having a set beauty standard that they want people to fit. P. S. it IS glorified everywhere. Check the media, fam.

  • Absolutely love the satire! :-D

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  • I know this is satire, but you can taste the bitterness in it.
    I understand black women's features aren't the most liked in the West, but it is what it is, everyone has something that isn't liked by most people.
    This is just like the Takes and questions of guys complaining about being short/out of shape/hairy/...

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  • Shock and awe really is the best method to get people to wake up to this BS I think. It doesn't concern most people personally so they just pretend it doesn't exist until it's right in their face. Nice myTake.

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    • You try putting how people feel in someone's face and no one listens. This will hopefully get people to listen and will help black girls to know that they're fine the way they are and need to stop trying to fit ridiculous standards.

    • It would be okay if the standards were balanced but they're standards that most people are born to lose right out of the gate which is ridiculous.

  • OMG, I hope this was a joke/sarcasm? I think this is a severely warped point of view. Sound like a desperate self hating girls point of view. I guess you got burnt by a guy that left you for a light/white girl? This is the "black female society" making each other feel bad about themselves.

    The little Kim situation is just sad/pathetic.. she doesn't even look good recognizable.. she use to look good... just her arrogant/bitch attitude was ugly.

    #1. the hair, all of my black girls did have it relaxed.. but not short. I think Keylan's hair on are you the one looks better curly than it does straight. Short or long depends on the girls facial shape.. not race.
    #2. Any girl that would even think of doing something so stupid... I wouldn't want. I love self confident girls that find themselves beautiful.

    I just notice you said it was satire... thank god... got me;-*

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  • I really don't know how to reply to this cause I go wanna point something out, but don't know how to go about it without appearing insensitive towards you and the general public. Also, don't talk shit about sundresses. They are perfect!

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    • Dude, just say it.

      P. S. Sundresses are ew. xD

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    • It's boring as shit in Georgia. If there's anything to do you've probably already done it. x. x

    • I hate the fact pace and the cold. Also, I love in the middle of nowhere. Trust me, I know what boring as shit looks like. We got an overpriced bowling alley and a movie theater. That's about it

  • i hate black girls with short hair
    cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...2-990c-91c68848b086.jpg
    grow hair out

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    • Short hair looks better on some people than long hair does, and black girls who have their hair natural suffer from shrinkage so it will look a lot shorter than it actually is.

    • "Short hair looks better on some people than long hair does" i haven't see one case of this yet (i live in a predominately black area)
      "black girls who have their hair natural suffer from shrinkage so it will look a lot shorter than it actually is" I don't know what this means but most girls look better without all the weave they put in. Most girls I've seen have enough hair without weave unless they cut it for some reason

  • I believe there was a GUY (at least originally..) named Michael Jackson who did this first...

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  • :D
    Man, the things black people do to look white, while white people are trying to look black, i. e big butts and thick lips.

    Keep up with the Joneses and the Kardashians!!!

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL :D:D:D:D

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    • it's funny isn't it. black people use products to lighten their skin. white people bake in the sun to darken their skin.

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    • Of course in Hollywood but I meant personally

    • @nojokecarmichael like i said i don't know anyone personally but that doesn't mean they aren't out there. we have to consider that with role models (whether we perceive them or not personally as such) like Beyonce or Nikki Minaj doing it, it then has to be assumed that regular non-celebrity women are doing it as well

  • What's wrong with step 5 I like girls to look more girlie.

    And what's wring with step 4 number 4

    Humor me and laugh at my dumb jokes that goes for any girl. Then be real sometime then fake it other time Lol I do that to my friends I know some of my exe did it to mr

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    • 5 is full of ugly mom clothes, and 4 mean we'd have to fake our personalities and agree with everyone who talks shit about us. That's what's wrong with them.

    • 5 isn't tbag bad Lol I like it I guess I have bad taste Lol

      And for step four number 4 I thought u meant boyfriends not people u don't like

    • You obviously didn't read 4 carefully if that's what you thought, and even with boyfriends being fake is a no-no. What guy would want to be with someone who can't show her real personality with him?

  • At last! Someone who is willing to speak the truth!

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    • I was poking at you here @asker. I know how short fused you can be sometimes lol

    • Geez, I wish I saw this before I saw the reply on the other comment. And yes, I know I'm short fused, but I told myself to not take anyone's mess a long time ago. I'm short fused, but I'm honest about what's on my mind. xD

  • media.giphy.com/media/9r7E3P4ejXS0g/giphy.gif
    Cough *Eurocentric Beauty Standards and Colorism* Cough

    Society needs a slap in the face!
    http://i.imgur.com/8eQqot7.gif
    I absolutely hate the whole idea of "Good hair" and that dark skinned people aren't beautiful/
    And I think brown people are beautiful, just the way they are.
    In fact, I wish I was darker!

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  • When I started reading, about how no one likes the natural "fro hair" type, and how you need to bleach your skin because no one likes darker, and plastic surgery and shit, I was pretty Fcking shocked. Haha, the pictures you said looked bad look pretty good to me.

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  • even if i did all these things i would never a cute black girl.

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  • I enjoyed your satire. By the way, t shirt and jeans is one of the best outfits for both, men and women in my opinion. If they have a somewhat attractive build, it can be very sexy...

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    • I think they look plain Jane on anyone. xD

    • Hehe.. Well we have difgerwnr tastes i guess.. I for one like seeing women in casual dresses rather than formal ones

  • I hate when black women bleach themselves or hate their natural hair, or obsess about being attractive to other races, or worry about the MINORITY of SOME black men who put women with light skin, straight hair and European features and European women on a pedestal (Black women aren't completely innocent of this either, SOME of them also put light skin , European features and European men on pedestals too) . Every race of woman out there I've talked to (with the exception of indian, Asian and some black women) said that they would be ok if they were only found attractive by their own race, while (I posted a question on here about this). Black women (NOT ALL OF THEM) tend to heavily focus on the guys that find them or their features unattractive and COMPLETELY ignore the men (Especially the black men that love their features) that do find them and their features attractive.

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    • Heck, when it comes to some of the black girls like that it's not even because they want to attract other race's, but to attract dudes of their own race. I know there's black women who are guilty of the whole light skin = right skin thing too, but not gonna lie I see more guys saying it and even being approved of for those thoughts. It's ridiculous on both ends. Why can't people like who they like without having to bash what looks like the complete opposite of what it is they like? I personally think Asian men and Native American men look very visually appealing, but I don't go around throwing shade at black, white, or Hispanic men because of it, and I certainly don't rule out other race's of people when it comes to my dating pool because of it either. However some men and women will rule entire groups of people out for the dumbest reasons ever. xD

    • While I don't rule out other races, I have to go with black women not because I'm just attracted to their features, but I believe they get me culturally. A lot of interracial couples don't talk about race and purposely avoid it. I've had racial encounters in the past and I'm pretty sure I will have them in the future and I don't think that a woman of another race would be able to understand what I'm going through like a black woman would.

  • 5 (other than some of the silly stuff under it) and 6 doesn't seem like satire.

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    • I personally do think sundresses are ugly, and wearing t-shirts and jeans to make people look like moms, but it is satire.

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    • Oh that's interesting. I googled Japanese street fashion and it seems so varied. What's something close to what you would wear on a normal day if you don't mind me asking?

      Fairy kei looks interesting. Cotton candy clothing.

    • That's because there's different genre's of J-fashion and I'd wear it everyday if I could, but I can't go to work in it and some days I am too lazy to plan out a coord so I go out in sweats/jeans lookin' like a mom despite not having kids or I stay home. Today was a stay home day. xD

  • Can i be a feminine black girl too? ? ?

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  • I understand you have a point to make but dont throw another person under a bus to prove a point. you haven't lived her life or had her experiences, using her as a negative is disrespectful. Whether you agree with what she does you are both black, enough people dont like our race. we DONT need to be at odds with each other, unity is one of the things we DO NEED. Be ashamed of yourself

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    • You didn't read that the whole myTake have you? If you did you wouldn't have posted such a ridiculous comment.

    • I've even let everyone know this is satire.

What Girls Said 24

  • I loved this. Period. A sarcastically beautiful way of getting a strong message across. Phenomenal work.

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    • @RJGraveyTrain You're smarter than that, Gravey. She's trying to blame men for why black women look the way they want to look and don't have guys who want them for it.

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    • Pay no mind to him he's not aware of what happens to people who aren't like him.

    • 3mo

      @xXiTacoXx it's actually pretty sad becuz ManOnFire is a black guy! Sad that some of our own race of men can't even sympathize with us

  • Love the sarcasm lol

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  • Comedy gold

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  • I love this so much. ❤️ It breaks my heart that so many black women go to such extreme lengths to change themselves in order to appeal to men.

    I'm going to type something up like this as well. Good job.

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    • Even black guys hate us and try to stick to dating other races.

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    • @Mayamoon02 well that is sweet. :)

    • Your black moms really fucked you up. All you do is grow up hearing "black men ain't shit" and other assorted bullshit and end up think black dudes don't like you.

  • i love the satire

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    • I'm glad you get that it's satire. Anon dude didn't even read the whole thing and bitched about me having issues with lord only knows whatever black girl he thinks I have issue with. Dude needs mental help.

    • lmao he clearly only skimmed through for the reasons xD A lot of people tend to do that.

      I enjoy satire and i can usually tell if someone is using it in their writing

  • Therapist in need!!!

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  • I'm happy that I have all the standard to be loved except for clothes this shoes are too ugly

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  • Ofc its a joke. Lmfao last date was upset that I don't do natural.

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  • Oh lord, I loved this! :D

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  • Black women are incredibly feminine and beautiful.
    I saw plenty of African queens when I went to Gambia. Was in awe of their class, dark dark skin and beauty. Walking to a sexy slow beat and hips swaying.

    So depressing that the States has tried to shame and change black beauty.

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    • Are the others shaming black girls or are black girls shaming themselves? If guys PREFER going for "white" girls and black girls are responding to that, then it's not the guys fault here. Nobody twisted their arm. Black girls are doing that to themselves.

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    • @JuicyBrain
      Dark skin has always been seen as shameful/unattractive. I have a book on what women used to do for thousands of years to achieve 'pure' 'pale' skin.
      The first written accounts and beauty books were written by Ancient Greek men stating that makeup was disgusting/magic/foolery and women should use certain painful ingredients to lighten their skin to achieve a virginal beauty.
      All over the world skin lightening techniques are used as a way to look pure and high status to suitors.
      This went for all women, but none were more shamed than the black woman. She was called all sorts in the book and men have a habit (in history) to blame the woman as dirty if he can't understand why he is attracted to her. Other women are just as guilty though.
      Its so much deeper than words I think.

    • That is so stupid. We ought to fix that! Come on guys, let's all take a black girl and make babies. In 3 generations, we'll all be brown ! @xXiTacoXx I am a red head with pasty white skin, you have black skin. Let's make a baby! Haha!

  • The American Girls are some of the worst, and some of the girls from the continent of African they do everything to look less black. They also aim for white men who are like the bottom of the barrel in their dating pool. At the end of the day looks attracts men, but personality keeps them. Great mytake

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  • im not black... but OMG I LOVE THIS TAKE ON SO MANY LEVELS !! xD hahahaha
    its funny, its smart, it does address a big issue and its kinda eye opening... and I don't know something about calling out fake people makes me feel ok inside xD

    when i saw kim's pic in another question i was beyond shocked... like she is not even black anymore !
    and its not just white skin no she also went for blonde hair!
    and you made a wholte take on it !

    and the best of all... a smart take on GAG !! can you believe it lol... you just broke a record lol

    enough talk... take allllll my likes !

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  • Great Take!

    I don't understand why some people bleach their skin, besides causing damage to their skin, they look ridiculous. And it's so sad.

    little Kim looks like a different person now.

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  • Hehe, I love this take.
    The loud aggressive thing reminded me off this guy
    https://youtu.be/t8MuisjvCDc
    His girl is black and he says people always think she's angry or something and he can relate because he's German and people always think Germans sound aggressive with their accent or whatever.
    I'm black AND I'm German, I must be scary haha.

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  • I'm just so sorry that you have to carry expectations like these around when you're obviously so much better and awesome than all of them http://i.imgur.com/cmDuckN.gif

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  • So I was shocked when I started reading this until I realized what you were doing. Good job. I love this take <3

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    • I'm glad you realized what I was really doing. One guy didn't get it.

  • But some of those outfits were cute tho. >_>

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  • Holy moly that third girl with the short Afro is so beautiful like is she even real 😍😱
    Great take! This self hate has to stop.

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    • She's real, and yeah it really does need to stop.

    • Self hate is never going to stop when black people have to hear from white people (among others) how ugly they are.

    • @ThaMotherFuxker never have I ever heard a white person say to a black person that they were ugly and actually mean it.

  • LOL omg I screamed once I saw the bald lady

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  • Who is that white girl next to little kim... is it her?

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