What I Learned From 24 Hours on Tinder as a 17-Year-Old

On a whim, I decided to download Tinder in the bright and early hours of Wednesday morning. (No kidding, it was 2 amโ€ฆ usually when I get all of my brilliant ideas lmfao). Here's what happened:

The age on my Facebook account is incorrectly 18 (I don't know how to change it lol) hence allowing me to create a Tinder account as you use Facebook to connect to the app. However, I specified that I was 17 and had written that I am a Year 11 Student (Junior) on my profile, and made sure to work my age into every conversation I had, one way or another. I set my age range for 18-22, and my pictures were my Facebook profile picture and my cover photo, along with my current G@G picture too.

Also, before any of you say it: I was not looking for random hook-ups, even if that's 'what Tinder is used for' and all that. I have seen people make friends and get into long term relationships through that app, so it's not solely used for booty calls (even though admittedly, it mostly is). I didn't even really have a real reason for being on the app, to be quite honest, apart from wanting to see what it was like more than anything else.

Anywho, after tweaking some of the settings and got swiping, and in two hours, I had 60 matches and a few conversations going. I still had no clue what I was doing, and was questioning whether I should really be on Tinder or not. I thought itโ€™d make an interesting question, so I asked G@G obviously. Check out the question here: http://www.girlsaskguys.com/dating/q2134316-am-i-too-young-to-be-on-tinder

I eventually went to bed that night after running out of likes, but I didnโ€™t manage to check it much throughout most of the next day, apart from the occasional swipe here or there, which I read is a good way for you to get high visibility.

I was on an outing with some friends, and I had my phone with me, and I kept on getting all of these notifications about new matches and messages, which was actually making me anxious. After about the 20th ding from the app, I turned the notifications off completely, and suddenly it became a lot more peaceful. I thought it'd be exciting, but the app was just stressful, particularly when I was busy in other aspects of my life, which I often was. I felt obligated to respond to everyone because I'd been too forthcoming with the swipes, and honestly, I felt like I couldn't keep up.

Within less than 24 hours, I had 155 matches, and 43 conversations going.

The Matches

When I first downloaded the app, I may have gone a little stir crazy with the right swipes. Though, some of the instant turn offs for me were as follows:

a) a group photo ---- seriously, I saw so many of these, do I really need to explain why this doesn't work?

b) a badly angled photo, taken from the side, or a photo where I couldn't see the entirety of the guy's face, and this was made worse when there were no other photos to look at either.

c) a grainy photo ---- why even bother? If I can't make out your nose on your face or other key facial features, I'm not gonna be swiping right.

d) I also kind of want to say mirror selfies ruled some guys out, but as long as it's clear and you're not pulling a stupid expression or hiding half your face behind your phone, I didn't mind them.

e) I don't know how appealing it is for guys, but those snapchat filters with the flower crowns or the butterflies were a no go (even though there were few and far between that actually had them).

f) sunglasses, really?

I matched with many people who had a lot of mutual friends of mine from Facebook, and as for people I actually knew, I matched with three Year 12 guys (seniors) from my own school, who I'm pretty sure don't even know I exist at school lmao.

A friend had mentioned to me that supposedly lots of guys swipe right on everyone and don't even bother looking at their faces, so upon hearing that, I decided to be more picky in my second round of swiping (after the 12 hour recharge period for swipes had finished). I noticed less matches, but I still got enough that I was more than satisfied with how things were going.

The Conversations

I didn't end up initiating any conversations, mostly because the ones that had already been started were keeping me quite busy. However, this is not to say that I don't believe girls should just sit back and wait for guys to message them, if you see someone you like the look of, go for it! I don't know what it'd be like from a male's perspective, but I do know that they marginally receive a lot less messages from girls, so perhaps you'd even be showing your initiative or whatever you'd like to call it by messaging the guy first.

I also didn't bother to reexamine profile pictures up close of the guys who messaged me, as I didn't want the way they looked to subconsciously influence the way I responded back. And, just so we're all clear, I didn't overtly flirt with any of these guys, and didn't 'get sexual' either, because that's just asking for trouble (I mean so is being on here to begin with, but you get my point).

[Watch this randomly placed but interesting 'Tinder Experiment' video above!]

Message Content

As for the actual content of the messages, well, they varied, but many were actually quite... dull. See below for the highlights of the types of messages I received.

* Majority of the guys started with a 'hey' or 'hi, how are you' or talked about the weather, which is fine, but like I said, it get's boring after a while. I found that a lot of the conversations I had with these guys dropped off pretty fast, and the messages didn't flow so well.

* I got a few really bad and some not so bad pick up lines which I personally always find extremely entertaining. One guy put me on the spot and asked me for my best pick up line, which I thought was good.

* Some guys asked me a question to initate conversation, and others even used my age as a topic of discussion. Asking questions to get to know someone (so long as they're not completely pointless) tends to work well too.

* I got about two or three dudes who used a compliment as an opening line, which I accepted graciously and always responded politely, but honestly, regardless of whether you're being genuine or not, it does come across as though you're trying to suck up to me, and it's not necessary because I mean, you already swiped right!

* Others made some rather creepy comments about 'going to jail being worth it' or 'you don't know the half of all the dirty disgusting things I'd like to do to you,' etc. Guys, this won't get you laid, just blocked and reported.

* There was one guy who's opening message was 'I almost feel guilty swiping right, you have such an innocent face...' which I never got around to responding to, but for some reason this stuck in my head for a little bit, because it wasn't overly creepy, yet it left me with a lot of room to make a flirty/sexual comment in response if I wanted to.

* I did have one 18 year old guy rip into me about being 17 and how it was false advertising, against the app policy and also not safe, all of which is true. So good on you Jordan, you did the right thing.

As for upping the ante, unless they'd initially sent a flirty or sexual message, it was extremely rare for that I spoke to to become more flirty, which in this case makes sense as I'm under 18, but if I were over 18 and actively looking for someone, this would be a big downfall.

Most guys, particularly ones that were 19+ or in second or third year uni seemed a little hesistant to be talking to me, which I don't think is an inherently bad thing, even though the age of consent is 17 in my state.

I got those images from this article here, and I actually think it's really useful.

And you can check out more funny conversation starter ideas here, that are moreso intended for laughs rather than anything else.

In Summary

To be quite honest, I thought everyone would be looking solely for hookups on Tinder, and while I didn't speak to a lot of people for long enough to work out what their true intentions were, there certainly seemed to be a variety of different types of people looking for different things.

But, in saying that, I still think that the general consensus is that Tinder is a hookup app, so I would not download it with the inherent expectation to find a long term relationship.

Overall, this was an interesting experience I had on Tinder (even if it was for a mere 24 hours until I deleted it), and not altogether a bad one, but I think I'll be waiting til I'm 18 until I download it again.


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Luci92 is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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What Guys Said 31

  • 1mo

    No offense, but I would have passed you up like undercooked spinach at a turkey dinner AND reported you for being 17. Not only is that dangerous, but it can get a lot of genuinely innocent and sincere guys into serious trouble. Please realize that. What may seem like fun and games to you can be a prison sentence for a male 18 and up.

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  • 1mo

    Ugh my tinder experience was awful. I got matched with some of the girls at my high school (ew). Overall the girls were not interested or wanted a hook up...

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    • 1mo

      Did you talk to the people from high school?

    • 1mo

      Well, they basically mad an account there just to fuck around and not for any actual purpose really, quite many people do it.

    • 1mo

      The other thing is why did you swiped on the girls you knew were in your high school? Like really? You swiped on them and complain about it... O_o...

  • 1mo

    Good take but why were you looking for a random hook-up? :p

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  • 1mo

    All dating sites are hook up sites or apps. You just can't genuinely fall in "love" with someone who you talk to on the internet it just doesn't make any sense to me. As a guy you will get a completely different experience I never tried tinder but I had ok cupid for a while and they are all the same so as a guy you rarely get any massages and the ones who do message you are either catfishers or really ugly no offense. The guys who do get messaged a lot by hot girls first and a lot are guys with status or who are rich which usually when you are famous you usually also have money so yea. I find that the ideology that women are attracted to guys more who they meet in person is true. Most women don't actually want to work hard to find a guy they really click with that's why you see women always put on their dating profile they want to date a guy really close to them women are very lazy in this regard. And this makes sense since women can usually pick their partners cause they know they have more options and that guys will come to them they don't have to go out looking.

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    • 1mo

      Makes sense.

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    • 21d

      Still friends with him now.

    • 20d

      Hmm interesting they are probably still in the minority then. Or it could just be a location thing.

  • 1mo

    I've actually found Tinder to work for dating and meeting people. I've never really been a hookup person. I actually met my current girlfriend using Tinder funnily enough. I suspect she used Tinder for everything from going on dates to hooking up (I haven't pried too much).

    Really interesting take though, and pretty well written. Thanks!

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    • 1mo

      Cheers, glad to hear the app was beneficial to you.

  • 1mo

    I used it for a while, just didn't see the point in it.

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  • 1mo

    I think i had my profile out for a month, a guy with features such as mine got not even one swipe right.
    ehh... the experience was certainly lackluster.

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  • 1mo

    I'm not fond of the flower crown and dog nose and such filters, either. I've fucked around on hot or not, and I see a lot of girls with those filters, basically completely covering their face. Why? Sorta defeats the purpose.

    Women, like, never message guys on those apps. It's astoundingly rare. Guess they have their hands full juggling all the messages they get from guys.

    Ah yeah. The 10 guy who is so hot, even I'm like daaaaaayum got 28 messages out of ~209 matches, so even guys who are like 7s or 8s are barely going to get any messages. Then just average guys will never get any messages.

    Surprisingly, the majority age of consent in the U. S. is 16. Only 10 states have it set as 18. I never knew this. I always thought it was 18 across the board. Although, it is still illegal to film anyone naked below 18.

    As long as you don't get any guys in trouble, *shrug*.

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    • 1mo

      "Surprisingly, the majority age of consent in the U. S. is 16. Only 10 states have it set as 18. I never knew this. I always thought it was 18 across the board"

      ^^ if either person crosses a state border, it's 18 (= the federal age of consent) no matter what -- even if it's a border between two states that *both* set an age below 18. fucked up huh?

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    • 1mo

      @redeyemindtricks gratzi. I might check 'em out.

  • 1mo

    Guys don't get near as many matches and usually only the girls who are new to tinder are good for entertaining convos! Personally I never went out of my way in opening lines because I don't know the person and lots of them aren't very fun to talk to after they've had their first 1000 messages haha. Dating sites aren't bad if you're a girl, but if you're a guy it's definitely ehh.

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  • 1mo

    I swiped right on my tinder seeing this girl from before, but I forgot about her. What I didn't realize was that, she was in my morning class at my university. I had a group project the with her in class the day before we were matched on tinder. I sent her a message to see if it was her from my class. I guess she got embarrassed and changed her like to dislike. Not awkward at all

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  • 1mo

    Boys pay attention

    Look at this chick. Average at best. Complaining how message content. Can't even keep up with all the 'dings'. 155 matches and 40 convos going on. All while average at best and 17-18 lol

    Keep that in mind. Now you see whyt their mind's are literally in the gutter and why dating for guys can be so difficult sometimes

    my personal response to you about 'hi' like he doesn't know you. Don't always expect some witty message. Say hi back and maybe he will say something else interesting

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    • 1mo

      I do always say hi back, I responded to every message I got.

  • 1mo

    You're 17. Why are you Tinder in the first place? Not only that but you can get men in serious trouble for that.

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    • 1mo

      Really? I think I realised that. If you've only come here to scold me, I'd rather not hear it thanks.

  • 1mo

    These ideas about asking questions waffles, pancakes, etc is just silly, like people who do this are you that uninteresting and not genuine that you have to look for things to "copy/paste"

    Why can't you just be yourself. I say "hey" "what's up" to friends all the time, that's how we talk. I've never in my life gotten a text or silly things like the ones you have in that graph. A stupid question may get you a response back but it doesn't mean that conversation is more likely to lead to a date than "hey".

    9/10 times when a girl has messaged me on a dating site I'm able to get a date (and 10/10 times more than that) :) Very rarely does it go bad. In marketing there is a term they like to use "call to action" it's a part of a website usually that makes people do something (can be as simple as signing up for a newsletter, or just joining the site, donate). The problem guys have is there's 2-3x the amount of guys on a site vs girls. Messaging girls is an exercise in futility. I won't go over any more than that because I don't want people using my ideas, you gotta do what works for you. If that means talking about Netflix or Avocado or discussing Pancakes or waffles then enjoy it.

    This is just in general not saying you did any of those things.

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  • 1mo

    Well, what I can say from this take is that Tinder mostly favours women like always with online dating.

    "* I did have one 18 year old guy rip into me about being 17 and how it was false advertising, against the app policy and also not safe, all of which is true. So good on you Jordan, you did the right thing."

    LMFAO, really? I don't think that guys here in UK would be so picky about it at all, after all legal age here is 16. Just sayin'.

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    • 1mo

      Yeah, I don't think I fully realised how much it would suck to be a guy on online dating.
      Ahaha really? I wonder why there's a difference

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    • 1mo

      @Luci92 you want to know why there's a difference?

      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bateman%27s_principle

      Women will always have an easier time dating than men.

    • 1mo

      @Kirah that was interesting, thanks :)

  • 1mo

    Glad you had fun with the experiment. I'm glad that I don't have social media other than LinkedIn

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  • 1mo

    I've had lots of tinder dates. Most of them were just hookups or flings. Only one who wanted a relationship was very clingy and wouldn't let me have my own life. Wasn't gonna put up with that.

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    • 1mo

      Only one who wanted a relationship was very clingy and wouldn't let me have my own life. Wasn't gonna put up with that.

      That's why the communication is very important when it comes to online dating :P

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    • 1mo

      @SpinningDude69 By flaky, it means they'll show interest and may suggest meeting up again only for them to ghost on you or give some excuse saying I don't feel it, found someone else, etc. I mean people are free to date who they want but you shouldn't lead someone on if you don't feel it. You don't have to be a dick or bitch about it. But I'd rather know right away that someone's not interested then waste my time only to feel like an idiot.

    • 1mo

      As far as guys being into clingy women. Some are like that, but it's rare. There is a fine line between being appreciated and someone clinging to you where they accuse your every action and won't let you live your own life outside of them. That's not love, that's selfishness and very unhealthy.

      I mean it's not a black and white thing. You can still keep in contact with someone without smothering them or not making any time for them. It's not like it's either one extreme or the other.

  • 1mo

    It's a good thing you didn't match with me. I probably would of left you with PTSD.

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  • 1mo

    Sounds like it was a fun learning experience It seemed overwhelming with so many matches you got and comments. Everybody looks for different things on tinder. I have been hearing stories of people getting boyfriends and girlfriend's from tinder.

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    • 1mo

      Well, at the end of the day it's all about what you are expecting as well as the other person so because solely this app is for hook-ups it doesn't mean you can't get a relationship out from it :P

    • 1mo

      @SpinningDude69. Yeah that is true

  • 1mo

    You study so much in very short time 👍

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  • 1mo

    Well.
    I guess I should've seen this coming. I tried the same thing a while back but my Facebook age was not false, so I couldn't sign up. I guess this article is insightful, but really if I tried it I wouldn't get many swipes because I'm terrible at taking photos or being photogenic. So the mytake might be insightful but also not really useful.

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What Girls Said 5

  • 1mo

    Good take. I've actually thought of getting one. But then I thought, my family doesn't know the meaning of boundaries or privacy, so I better wait. I also get my best ideas in the middle of the night. Last Tuesday at around 11:30 at night, I just thought I should dye my hair black. I was serious about it because the next morning I went and bought two boxes of hair dye. Best impulsive decision ever!

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    • 1mo

      From what iv heard your not missing out on much.
      but privacy is important. If they go through your phone though you can use an emulator on your laptop to run what ever mobile apps you don't want them to see.
      If you think they will go through your laptop hide the emulator icon in a directory rather than your desktop.

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    • 1mo

      Plus I know my profile says in a relationship, but I promise I'm not cheating on anyone, I just put that on there to keep the creeps away.

    • 1mo

      @sedrftvgyhujik that is a good idea. I will try it.

  • 1mo

    I went on Tinder too but I didn't think of posting my experience. :P

    For me it was pretty meh. Nobody swipes on you unless you're hot and a model or something. Oh, and girls are like 5 times more likely to get a swipe than guys. If you watch h3h3, a YouTuber, he proves this theory when him and his wife make accounts. Almost every guy swiped on his wife while he got literally none.

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    • 1mo

      Oh and I did get a couple of swipes and faves. :) wasn't expecting that. ;)

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    • 1mo

      I think women will swipe right less because they have more of a "mr. perfect" picture in their head that basically no guy can live up to where as guys have a "picture perfect" girl in mind but don't hold to it nearly as tight as girls Do. Just my observation

    • 1mo

      @shawnski Yeah I think you are right.

  • 2d

    Good post++

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  • 1mo

    Lets face it if you need Internet dating to get a date your in trouble.

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  • 1mo

    What EVERY woman on Tinder (and online dating in general) should do -- literally, absolutely every woman -- is START by giving ABSOLUTELY UNEXPECTED ANSWERS to things.

    Like... things that aren't *quite* nonsense, but are pretty damn close.

    You get the point, right?

    The point is to IMMEDIATELY filter out guys who are using "canned lines", or "scripts", or other kinds of "formulas".

    I mean... I don't know for sure, one way or the other -- I have 0 personal interest or investment, so I haven't bothered to research it -- but, I'm SURE that such things are out there, and I'm SURE that there's a whole cottage industry by now *selling* these scripts to guys. (If not, that'd be one hell of a business opportunity!)

    Like... this recruiting flowchart
    www.greatrecruitertraining.com/.../...ow_Chart.pdf

    Or these cold-call scripts to get past "common roadblocks" mahah
    cdn2.hubspot.net/.../7-killer-scripts.pdf

    I mean... for boys, Tinder is a numbers game. You've seen those fearless_banana takes, right? He sent the same damn messages to basically every girl ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    The point is to give responses that are weird enough that the boy HAS to be on his toes with you... for a while, at least.

    You don't have to stay weird forever and ever and ever (although you should absolutely keep fucking with the boy's head at regular intervals, forever... I'm still doing it after 17 years with *my* man!) -- but, you should do it until you are CONFIDENT that he's actually getting PERSONAL with you.

    __

    In any case... I couldn't do this whole "online dating" thing. In-person chemistry is just way way way waaaaayyyy too much of a thing, for me. Can't imagine investing that much effort upfront, before even *finding out* whether that chemistry is there.

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    • 1mo

      I so did not expect the first upvote to come from a boy.
      Neat!

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    • 1mo

      Tx bb <3

      By the way -- Every time I see the HEADLINE of this take (in my feed)... I keep thinking the author is going to be at least 40 years old. LOL
      (Kinda like if you see an article called "24 hours online as a man"... the author is definitely a woman.)

    • 1mo

      Ahaha that's fair

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