The Dilemma with Dating (Guys- does she like you?)

There are a lot of questions here about how to get girls, why girls don't like good guys, if a girl likes a boy and how to ask a girl out, should you ask a girl out, when to ask a girl out. Well men, your prayers have been answered, I'm here to tell you all about girls... well as much about girls as I can, at least.

So I'll do this in the most logical order possible:

1. Does she like you
2. How to get her
3. How to ask her out
4. What kinds of boys girls like/Bad Boy Syndrome explained.

1. Does she like you?

I'm sorry boys but there is no check list of symptoms for the love bug. She may stare at you but that could because you've got something stuck in your beard. She could smile at you but that might be because she's trying to be friendly. She might giggle a lot when around you but that could be because she just thinks you're so funny. You can't just run though a list of signals and say "Well she's expressing seven our of nine so she must like me!"

Instead try to feel the vibe the girl is giving off. Listen to what she says.Does she hint at hanging out one on one? Does she try to get physically closer to you, or constantly find seats next to you. Does she initiate contact, and how often does she interact with you? Smiling and eye contact mean little to nothing on the grand scale of things.

The signs that she likes you will also change based on your age. If you're in high school or middle school her crushing on you will look a heck of a lot different than if you're both in your forties or fifties. Mostly because a forty year old would never admit to "crushing on" anyone.

So think about the maturity of the girl who you're interested in, is he giggling and supposed flirting just a natural thing for her? Or is she more grown up than that yet she still does it around you? Also keep in mind that not all girls know what they're doing to boys. They don't see the hugs and laughing at everything you say means to you.

So I suppose the conclusion is- read the girl. Does she know what she's doing? Or is this how she acts around everyone? Is she behaving out of the ordinary?

The Dating Dilemma Solved
  • Listen to her words, watch her body language that is specific to you.
  • Specify that you are asking her on a "date," but don't put pressure on her to be your boyfriend.
  • Don't worry about spending too much money on the date.
  • Any girl worth having (any mature girl) will not be going after bad boys

2. How to get her/ask her out

People over complicate this step A LOT. For example, my friend (we'll call him Adam) wanted to ask out my other friend (we'll call her Sue). So I told him to just do it, they were going to the campus cafe tonight anyway, just ask on the way there if he could take her out sometime! Adam completely rejected his idea saying no no, I don't look nice, and she's going to be away this weekend so we can't have a proper date. Which made me wonder, when the hell did asking a girl out become so complicated?!

Seriously, I asked my current boyfriend if we could be official while sitting in his basement, watching Over the Hedge right after a quick make out session on our third date. Trust me, no girl is so obsessive that you need to dress up to ask her on a date.

So, you decide to ask her out, but you're worried she'll say no, you're worried your friendship will be ruined, you're worried that you smell bad, maybe and she's disgusted by you. Well don't worry about any of that because I have one little trick that will save you all the trouble. When you ask her out, be sure to specifically use the word "Date". Don't ask, "Want to go out with me?" or "Do you like me" or "I'd like to be your boyfriend, please?" ask her, "Can I take you on a date." with the optional addition of, "not as a couple, just the two of us getting to know each other better" or something along those lines.

This is a saving line for a few reasons:

--If she says no you can easily down play it with a simple, "That's fine, don't worry, I was just asking if you wanted to" AKA: it's easy to brush off. You never really stated how much you liked her, just that you'd like to get to know her better. There's less to try to down play that way.

--If she's unsure about it, it reassures her that she's not making any real commitment, she's just going out to dinner with a friend to see how things go, little baby steps, it's more comfortable that way.

--It's less nerve wracking for you because you're not professing your undying love (or undying like-like of her) you're just asking her out on something a little more friendly than usual.

If she accepts then great! Ask if she has any free nights in the up coming week(s) (but be careful not to be too pushy about it, it might turn her off). Try to make a plan then, though, otherwise you might both forget and sweep it under the rug. If she says no, as I stated above, just play it off lightly so she doesn't feel uncomfortable and you don't seem awkward and rejected and you can preserve the friendship.
"If she says no, just play it off lightly so she doesn't feel uncomfortable, & you don't seem awkward and rejected. Then you can preserve the friendship."

PRO-TIP: Half the reason the friendship becomes uncomfortable after that kind of a thing is if you make it uncomfortable. If you, the man, ask he out and then act all shifty and embarrassed and awkward around her, she'll respond in kind. Once you've been rejected forget about it and just act like normal again. She'll pick up on the cue that it really wasn't anything big and you'll both be able to continue on just like before.

3. The Date!!!

As the day gets closer start making more specific plans. If you do this all upfront it might scare her off. So, when you first ask, establish a day to go out. As that day approaches decide how to pick her up (or meet her there? or her pick you up?), where you both want to go (dinner, movies, bowling, laser tag?), and (most importantly) who is paying. Are you paying because you asked her out or because you really want to get that 'I'm taking you out on a date' feel? Or are you splitting everything because you really want to keep it casual until she's more comfortable?

Don't worry about being fancy and expensive, some of my best dates were the ones where I didn't have to worry about getting too dressed up and how much money I was spending. But do look nice, it shows you care about your presentation around her and it shows that you do make an effort for her.

Or, ya know, you could just walk up and ask if she likes you...

4. ZOMBIEFOOD EXCLUSIVE: Bad Boy Syndrome

BBS is a serious mental disorder affecting some girls from their early teens to as late as their forties and fifties. It is a condition in which a girl finds nice guys too soft and easy and bad boys fun and thrilling. When under the affect of this disorder a girl will often date men who are mean, ignore her, hard to get or dangerous because it's exciting, thrilling and exhilarating. She gets to chase him and win him over, this proves that she is alpha female for she as tamed and domesticated the unattainable.

When affected by this disorder girls will often wish they had boys who appreciated them but will continually only date jerks. This is because the syndrome doesn't affect what they want, or need out of a relationship, only what they actually go out and seek. They see nice guys as easy and boring and not trophy worthy.

Now, the most important thing to understand about this disease is that:

A. It doesn't affect all girls
B. It is a phase that immature girls go through before they grow up
C. Complaining about it, or generalizing all girls to have this disorder will just make them all hate you
D. Any girl worth having (any mature girl) will not be going after bad boys
E. A nice guy is what all the girls worth having want
F. You were all immature once, as well, don't hold it against the girls once they grow out of this phase
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What Guys Said 17

  • This take is very cute! And very basic! Can't argue with anything in it! But, it's basically a map to the friend zone! This is a "date" with a friend! Everything you've written here is very good as far as it goes. But it takes you to the friend zone and stops there!

    There's nothing about kissing, making out or even holding hands let alone sex. The date you described is totally asexual! I guess you figure everybody must just work out the intimacy parts on their own! Yes, this is a cute take!

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  • thanks for the advice!

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  • nice article. in response to number 2 from a guys point of view, most guys I know have been trained to NOT say the word "date" when asking a girl out because we believe it puts too much pressure on the situation for her. we find that it makes you more comfortable to say "hang out", but the idea that's it is a date gets across.

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  • if a girl says no I respect her but saying it doesn't hurt to be reject is liar. I live her alone. once she says I lose all interest.. no point in pretending to be friends

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  • Great explanation!

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  • lmao @ the bad boy syndrome. Great article

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  • Nice article.

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  • very good perspective on things, well worth the read

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  • i know the feeling I'm a nice guy and women take avantege of me and use me for there games.

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  • Great article! I love the writing style, it was funny.

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  • magnifico

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  • awesome article. with this GaG needs no more posts...

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  • Very, very excellent article. Nice and concise :)

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  • This is a boss article!

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  • Very good article, the simplest answer is the best! And sometimes - the blatantly obvious needs to be pointed out! Thank you, Mrs.Obvious!

    Also someone finally needed to point out that BBS is a mental disease! But just like most of mental diseases they actually are an expressions of weak or flawed character! Not a real medical condition! Most of cases!

    The way I see BBS is a pure masochism! It's no secret SOME(not all) girls tend to be very self-abusive, also emotionally!

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  • pretty decent article though I'm a bit wary of explicitly saying date. I feel this would be off-putting to some girls if it's given a specific label given all the connations that are associated with a stereotypical date. but like LM385, my problem is actually meeting girls and getting them to go out with me. I can't seem to put myself in places to meet them and the instances that I get numbers, nothing ever comes of it. but I guess that's a whole nother article.

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  • great article :) Also a lot of usable tips which I'll have to try out some time or which I can now spot ;)

    For me the hardest part is actually meeting someone and getting her on a date with me... It seems like all the girls I ever see are so stuck up on themselves that the only person they'll ever want to go on a date with would be Adonis (or themselves)...

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What Girls Said 7

  • Also, "G" ... being nice doesn't cover up for genuinely putting no effort into being attactive, fit, interesting and charming. The same as guys want to be attracted (mentally and physically) to their partner and won't just date a girl because she cooks a mean steak dinner!

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  • Totally agree with the statement to use the word "date" when asking someone out, it seems scary, but it's just SO much easier on everyone :)

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  • Wow A W E S O M E article I don't know how old you are buy yoi are W I S E& very profound, you should def! Write a book hey Steve Harvey did ;)

    so mature of you to uncover the truth&enlighten this tweeny-bopper baby boomer generation even."I" at 24 years old took notes ...bc I know good girls want a great guy&they ALWAYS win in

    ..thEND! God Bless you for that! (^_<)

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  • @pbima:

    The only problem with saying "hang-out" is that every time a guy has asked me to hang out that's what I took it as. Girls are like you- they don't know what you mean unless you say so. We'll speculate and obsess but we don't know. If you say hang out she'll assume you just want to be friends. By using date you're making a little more formal. And you can add the little "As friends" tidbit at the end, if it makes it more comfortable.

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  • "C. Complaining about it, or generalizing all girls to have this disorder will just make them all hate you"

    a- fricken- men.

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  • "this proves that she is alpha female for she as tamed and domesticated the unattainable."

    aahahha x)

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  • I'll work on that article next for now this will have to do, sorry. Hahahaha

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