Be The Boyfriend You Wish You Had

Yes, you read the title correctly.

It was a toss up between the one I chose and “Treat Yourself The Way You Wanted To Be Treated.” Both are quotes from one of my best friends. I don’t know how guys are, but when girls get together, all we do is bitch about our boyfriends. What they do wrong, why they can’t do anything right, what stupid ass thing they said, what stupid ass thing they did, etc, etc.

"If you love your boyfriend but he’s not doing it for you, complain less and treat yourself to more!"



We could literally go on all day long. The ranting and raving usually ends with an end-of-the-night “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea because he really is a great guy” or “But I really do love him” — to which we always reply, “You don’t have to say that. I know he’s a good guy and, if you didn’t love him, you wouldn’t be with him.” Sometimes I like to throw in “because he’s such a dumb ass that why would you be with him if you didn’t love the idiot?” to the end of that last statement.

Anyway, after years upon years of complaining about our boyfriends’ juvenile stupidity, my friends and I have decided to be the boyfriend that we wish we had. It’s pretty much the same concept as the Destiny’s Child’s Independent Women song. You can love him as much as you want, but don’t let his actions make you feel bad anymore.

  • You want to go to an expensive dinner and he won’t take you? Take yourself.
  • You want beautiful flowers in a vase sitting in the center of your kitchen table? Buy them for yourself.
  • You want to see a movie, or a Broadway show or a museum exhibit? Order the tickets and escort yourself.


The same goes for jewelry or other less-sentimental items that you’ve had your eye on. If you love your boyfriend but he’s not doing it for you, complain less and treat yourself to more.

Gogus olculeri

I don’t have a boyfriend, and I take myself out to dinners with friends, shop, and treat myself to manicures and hair appointments all the time. I can’t rely on a guy to swoop in and buy me everything I want — and I also can’t waste my life away wishing my boyfriend (if I get one) will have the caring, common sense, and money to do all of these things for me; therefore, I do it for myself.

Think about how much breath you waste complaining or how many hours of sleep you lose burdened by the thoughts of not getting what you want out of your relationship (tangibly-speaking). If you don’t want to break up with him (or if you’re single and don’t have a boyfriend at all), then simply be the boyfriend you wish you had.

Have you ever been your own boyfriend?



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What Guys Said 1

  • There's an easy solution for getting these things from your boyfriend. You can tell him "I want you to take me out to a restaurant"; instead of not saying a thing, hoping the guy can magically read your mind, and them blaming him to be selfish or him not loving you because he doesn't do what you want.

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What Girls Said 5

  • That's pretty good for material things -- after all he's a boyfriend, not an ATM. But most of my gal pals complain about their man's bad behavior, not that he didn't buy them stuff.

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  • Great article. :) Independence is important and not relying too much on others. Even with a boyfriend, yourself is really important. Don't let him affect you in a negative way a lot, and if it's so, then don't be afraid to get out.

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  • ok..but I guess its far less fun buying these things ourselves

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  • I totally agree, and I have ALWAYS lived by this rule. All the females in my life treat a boyfriend as nothing more than someone who spends money on you. I am not a prostitute; I don't look to my SO to do the personal things like buy my wardrobe, expensive handbags etc...Boyfriends are for support and love! Fianancial help only matter once your living together/married or have children.

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  • I have to agree with the first three comments.. Either way, I'll be getting my nails and hair done. I buy myself flowers all the time. I can't be the boyfriend I want because I can't give myself the warmth I feel from a his hug. Or the kiss I feel from his lips. I won't enjoy that expensive dinner if it's not with him and why would I want to go to a museum alone? Where is the fun in that?

    I'm sorry but this article is for very superficial materialistic women.

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