Lose The Losers - Dating Tips

We can all think back to a time when we were young and naive. All we had to do was wait patiently, keep our noses powdered and our lipstick fresh, and Prince Charming would come riding up on a beautiful black stallion and carry us off to his ancestral castle, where we would live happily ever after. Unfortunately, that vision evaporates as reality shatters our fantasy and the man of our dreams is nowhere in sight.

Now, our Prince Charming no longer has to be tall, dark and handsome. We would settle for short, balding and near sighted if they treated us right, had a decent job (20 hours a week at Burger King does not qualify), and didn't leer at every woman in a short skirt that happened to prance into their line of vision. Remember, our Prince Charming is now near sighted so the woman would have to be pretty darn close!




Being a college-educated woman in my late 20's, I tried not to let dismal statistics of my chances of finding Mr. Right and settling down drive me to despair. However, in one of my weaker moments, I caved and dated a very hot-looking loser of the highest rank, a Five-Star General of losers. If you rated losers on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the worst, 10 being bad, but at least without an advanced case of leprosy, this loser was top of the heap, holding the #1 spot.

In those days, I was drawn to the "bad boy" type if for no other reason than to annoy my Dad. Paybacks for all those times he checked the mileage on the car to see how far I had driven! It all started innocently enough. We met at one of the coffee shops I frequent on my way to work. He was reading the New York Times and sipping a latte. The latte should have given me a clue that something was "off" about this guy, but remember I was having a weak moment and oh, those crystal blue eyes! We somehow struck up a conversation and he asked if we could meet for dinner that weekend. I accepted, and several things led to several other things.

Gogus olculeri

I should have noticed the "I'm a loser" cues long before the fateful day of our breakup. We dated for several months and I was often left picking up the tab for dinner, a movie or drinks. He always had an excuse that, at the time, appeared feasible. "I'm waiting on my commissions" or, yes, I even fell for "I left my wallet in my apartment." He was a master manipulator and I fell into his trap.

What could I possibly have been thinking? I should have known; beauty fades, but dumb is forever! However, there is always that one defining moment, situation or occurrence in any doomed relationship that is the proverbial "eye opener." Something happens so inexcusable that even a master manipulator can't talk his way out of it. That day came on, of all days, my birthday.

While I was at work, Mr. So Not Right, decided to take a pleasure cruise in my car, at my expense, and without my permission.When he finally decided to return my car later that evening, probably due to not having the funds to fill up the gas tank, he sauntered into my apartment as if he had just returned from a quick trip to the store for a loaf of bread. To add insult to injury, my Five-Star General loser asked if the flowers that he ordered were delivered for my birthday! Well of course not, lame brain; you have to order them first!

At that moment the clouds parted, and the angels shouted from heaven, "LOSER." I fell swiftly from the pink, fluffy cloud of denial I had been floating on and saw sorry excuse for a so-called boyfriend for who he really was; a loser and a user who got by on his good looks and inherent charm. I not so politely told him to leave my premises and that I did not expect to ever see his mug again, in this lifetime or the next.

Yes, there definitely comes that one defining moment in any bad relationship; mine came when I realized that not only did this virtual stranger in my life have proclivities for grand theft auto, but also he had to give me some pitiful story about birthday flowers not being delivered. Every lady in the land knows that failing to recognize a special occasion like a birthday is an absolute deal-breaker; this is a court from whence there is no appeal!

I grew stronger and wiser from my run in with the Five-Star General loser. I'm an intelligent, educated, and gainfully employed woman with much to offer. If a man does not have the same to bring to the table, then we don't have anything to talk about, no matter how mesmerizing those blue eyes. There are always footnotes to good stories about bad mistakes. In my case, my instincts were right on the mark. About two weeks after I showed Mr. Wrong and his hallucinogenic flowers to the door, he called one morning and brightly asked, as if nothing were amiss, if I would come down to the county jail and post his bond on a DUI arrest that occurred on the previous evening. As far as I know, he is still sitting there. And that's me, laughing last!



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What Guys Said 3

  • Get REAL rocket man

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  • If only we could live in the mind of Hawthorne and brand losers with a big, fat L.

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  • Some girls don't realise when they have a friend that really loves them and is truly into them and has no baggage, yet they always want something else

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What Girls Said 7

  • Jus so you know, you're an excellent writter.

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  • Lol! this story is good!

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  • Awesome! I enjoyed reading this and made me realize what a jackass my fiance is..sounds just like him if you add the playstation... forget anniversaries.. birthdays and last names! God I hate guys why can't there be any normal ones who aren't gay or taken

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  • Good write:)

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  • @skyrocketbursts: I second that. Same with you guys as well sometimes.

    Just stop listening to sweet talk, everyone, but only to people's actions then you'll notice right away what's going on.

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  • Well I don't know those guys you call losers were the ones that liked me. Where were the nice guys? They always wanted some girl who had no job with 3 kids from 3 fathers. The one guy that gave me a rose was a dude on the run from the law he paid for the date too with money he likely stole. But it is the thought that counts. I'm sure this is unpopular but it is a true story.

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  • I just had that defining moment on fri. night.... when it hit me, I told him I'd been trying not to simply dismiss him as a douche-bag but he no longer left me any choice. Said a few other things, told him to delete my number & email & hung up. I think he is stupid enough to call back and act like nothing happened. That call will go to vmail then get deleted.

    I suggested a clean break w/o hard feelings twice over the past year. If they want out, why can't they do that? Why MUST there be drama?

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