5 Reasons Men Dating Older Women Doesn't Work.

So it's 2012, and there's no shortage of people supporting uncommon social conduct. Such as men dating older women instead of the historically set precedent.

To be clear, I'm not talking about a 45 year old man dating a 50 year old woman. No, I'm talking about men who are in their 20s, most likely have no children and dating a woman that might be pushing 40.

Although to be fair, let's look at the most common circumstance of a man in his mid 20s dating a woman in her early 30s. I've seen this most of all and others will agree this is usually the most common younger man dating older woman situation. Without further banter, here's the top 5:

#1. The Biological Clock Is Ticking....and not for the guy

Like it or not, nature hasn't adapted to social trends. Women are most fertile from 20-24, supposedly, but without a doubt once women enter their 30s, the odds drop and quite significantly after the 35 age barrier. Thus women who don't have kids in their early 30s are more than likely thinking about kids and having them quick as oppose to a guy who's 26 and is more than able to provide the goods well into his 40s. This is a sad fact of life and one that usually dampers these type of relationships. Also for anyone who grew up with a single mother, kids do quicken the age process and seemingly most true when it comes to women. So even if you're fine with having a kid, imagine your wife being 45 when your kid turns ten, and she isn't looking too good.
"Life experience makes a person mature, and a 22 year old guy does not have enough of it."


#2. Women Like Maturity...

Well most women, and if you think girls in their teens are demanding of mature guys, what about women ten years older? No matter how adventurous and energetic a guy in his 20s might be, chances are he won't be up to the maturity level of a woman well past the college phase. Obviously people will point to the fact that most of these relationships start because of a young mature man.

However there's really no such thing. Life experience makes a person mature, and a 22 year old guy does not have enough of it. Sooner or later the woman will realize she's dating a boy instead of a man.

#3. Awkward Moments

Yes, all relationships have them, but in relationships where the age gap is significant, they appear more often than not. The main difference between an older man dating a younger woman is topics of conversation. More often than not, women are more in tune with nature and entertainment and guess what, for most men dating a woman who still watches Full House and listens to Pearl Jam might be a tad....out of place. But even more awkward is when older women opt to go with modern day fashions. Let's say you're hanging out with your friends and they're your age and your girlfriend dresses like them....now you WANT her to wear outdated clothes don't you? See this goes back and forth and doesn't make either party too comfortable.

#4. Who wears the pants in the relationship?

In most cases, not the guy. We all know how the career ladder works, most people have to put in the time to climb it. So a guy fresh out of college is rarely going to be more ahead in life than a woman who's had ten years to figure things out. Welcome to the Playgirl Mansion. Some men will love this situation, but many will grow tired and want to be the "man" and that's where it all falls apart, which brings us to #5.

Why Dating An Older Woman Doesn't Work
  • She's ready for a family way before you are
  • She's way more mature....and always will be
  • Generational differences can be awkward
  • 'Wearing the pants' - she's climbing the corporate ladder
  • She may always want to give life advice

#5. Second Mom

Well, most women have children in their 20s but that doesn't mean dating a woman 16 years older won't get you the odd "Oh are you having dinner with your son? That's so nice to see". Yeah, enjoy that. Remember the whole maturity, life experience spiel? Well that comes into place here as well. Dating an older woman will inevitably lead to "I once did this, it was a mistake, may I suggest you do this, this and this".

Let's face it, guys are not as patient and willing to listen to advice from an older entity, hell women aren't either. So the younger man will inevitably grow insecure about his older girlfriend giving him life advice.

And there you have it. Mind you, there's always a chance it can succeed, but for the reasons above, it probably won't.
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What Girls Said 12

  • I'm a year and 4 months older than my boyfriend but we get along like a house on fire so I think such a small gap does not make any difference in the relationship.

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  • The answer is simple: With longer life expectancy, especially for women, fertility must be extended and preserved. This is also not difficult as Menopause and infertility can be prevented completely. Beth Rosenshein writes about this topic in her book :preventing menopause. Women would be more able to compete as they are for instance not time pressured with family planning!!! This includes having the choice of a partner the same age or younger. Women, read her book and get proactive!

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  • I am in my mid forties and all the kids are after me. I love older men even at my age! There is nothing attractive about these much younger men! I hate it! They send me the pictures of their private parts and they think I will fall in love with them! Women do not just look at sex, women look for experience, maturity and a gentlemaness, some one who can pamper and spoil them! Most these kids are not like that, period!. I do not want to raise a kid, I want a man who already knows a woman's needs!

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  • I think the best thing to do is date within 7 years of your ae

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  • (sorry hit return too soon) time don't know. Randy Travis married his Manager who was 25 years older than him he was in his early 20s. There are so many factors that play a role in relationships whether the couples are close in age or not. It is a personal choice & I really feel we all should be free to love who we want & if it doesn't work it doesn't work. The heart doesn't see age so to blame an age difference on it not working is wrong.

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  • I always hate commenting on this stuff but I think it really comes down to the people involved. I have so many friends that have dated/married within their age group and it failed and those are people in their 20s, 30s and 40s. Maybe a bas example my great-grandmother was 38 when she married my 18 year old great-grandfather. They had 2 sons and were married for 40 years until "he" passed away, maybe the time dou

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  • This is just stupid. I'm with a younger man and have been since he just turned 18. We have a child together, and are very happy. Sooooo yeah. Your "opinion" doesn't apply to everyone. Just because you were burned by an older chick doesn't mean that other guys can't bag older chicks. Sorry bro!

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  • all of your 'reasons' are personal to an individual person. not 'women'.

    alot of women do not plan to have kids. a lot of guys have kids at a young age. a lot of women are in control of the relationship. a lot of guys are fine with that. a lot of older women are not mature. a lot of young guys r.

    people in relationships ALWAYS give advice. that's a partner. people can dress however they want.

    anywys anyone darting. already KNOWS who why they like who they like. its not like omg who are you, after months.

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  • You have some true points sprinkled in. Your logic misses on many marks. Just because someone is older doesn't mean they are and will always be more mature. I have dated younger men exclusively since my divorce. They were all as mature as I am. I also have never looked old enough to be someone's mom. That would be a rare situation. I also don't get the reference to wearing "modern day" fashions. There is a balance between looking current and looking out of place.

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  • I really think it more depend on the two people in the relationship. You can assume all the things but you don't know for sure. Now some older women are very sexy at 50s so you can't say they are not going not good looking. So a lot of women now take a good care of themselves. I'm not disagreeing with you but just want to add some info.

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  • Number 4 is bullshit. Age has nothing to do with who wears the pants in a relationship.

    I've been younger than all my previous boyfriends and I've always worn the pants.

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What Guys Said 12

  • We all have reasons and experience that taught us to be wiser next time. Couples getting into older women relationship may have failed the other type of relationship so they tried the other way around. The disadvantage is not mainly biological because it depends on how women keep up their good shape but often social and emotional aspect. But for guys who know what they really need in a relationship that counts. After all, relationship is not spent in bed only...

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  • women are most fertile in 20-24? not even 25 through 30?

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  • Again to re-state. I'm talking about childless women in their mid 30s and older.

    Some of you responded thinking I was talking about 29 year old women dating 22 year old men. That wasn't my scenario when I wrote this.

    Also, while I acknowledge this is not applicable to everyone, I doubt "a lot" of women don't want kids. It's a pretty small minority.

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  • This doesn't really reflect accurately an older womans intentions. Dating a younger guy for her is probably just for fun, she (and presumably he) both realize they aren't going to be together, but they're having fun and fulfill some need for each other. He's there when she wants and he gets laid. If he's not mature enough, he's a one-nighter, if she like his presence he gets a recurring role , but they both know it's just for kicks and isn't meant to last. That's the reason I like em older ;)

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  • You have good arguments but you got off track by 3 to 5. Watch the "Reader" Movie and understand the relationship. It's about what you can bring to her life no matter how old she is. Also women are not dumb bots that are so drive by their biology that they can't reason with it.

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  • I actually took this more as entertainment and didn't get offended. I understand lilpink but honestly this situation like every other situation works for some and not for all. I was more attracted to this cause I myself was heavily interested in a woman who is 38 and I myself just turned 24. She is absolutely gorgeous and I tried but it didn't work out even before it started so I can't say if you were right or not but either way this was a great read man.. thanks keep writing

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  • I f***ing love Pearl Jam

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  • This are also the reasons why I don't like older women hitting on me.. They try hard sometimes: I'm rich, I'm so depressed.. You are so optimistic and positive about life and I'm so.. (normally I take it as a compliment.. But these are mixed with body language as in please help me)

    Or even worse: stalking, getting every opportunity to talk to you (lowering their standards) just to be with this young guy...

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  • I dated older women before. They are great for a while. I disagreed with your reasons.

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  • #1 doesn't even matter, as most of the mature guys these women date are already family types.

    #2 a kid doesn't have to go through everything a adult man has to be mature. It's 2012 for cryin out loud. It's a known fact that kids are maturing faster these days.

    #3 just another assumption based off age. Why must it be one way or the other?

    #4 again...another assumption.

    #5 ...that's all it takes to break your commitment?

    ..I agree, if you're going to follow these, you should break off now.

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  • You're full of sh*t on number two. It's not age that brings experience, it's your surrounding. Kids in china that are 7 years old support their families working in the fields are more "mature" than some 20 year old American young men. If you have a 50 year old guy that was stuck in a cage his whole life, you would notice he isn't "mature." Anyways, date around your own age people. 5 year difference is okay, 10 is pushing it.

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  • What about asking a question that young men are afraid to ask their female counterpart : why some of us don't want us ?. the reason is that men have become, unlike past generation, immature until 30. The maturity gap with women has widened way to much in your generations... Man up guys and stop finding excuses...

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