Things That Have No Place In The Dating World

[loveisbeautiful]

Dating, is hard in it's own right. It's scary allowing yourself to open your heart to someone and be vulnerable and to even trust. Things are made even harder by certain things people actually consider, before dating someone. I see a lot of things on here and everywhere, that to me seem quite asinine and have nothing to do with a person. So, here are some things I think have no place in the dating world.

Race/Skin color- I see questions on here all the time about "why don't men/women like black, Asian,hispanic women/men" Or "would you date someone of another race". Etc, etc. I personally, don't think race or skin color should even be a deciding factor in whether you ask someone out or not. If you like them, you like them. If don't, that's fine too. Just don't make someone's race or skin color apart of it, because that's what they look like but it's not who they are as a person. Keep that in mind.

Height- I see a lot of guys on here asking women why they only like tall guys and not short. The reasons why women say they do, well they make no sense to me. This is not Six Flags Great America, where you have to be "This tall to ride". A persons height is not who they are. It's just how tall they are and should not be a deciding factor in whether you date them or not.

Hair Length- I hear a lot that men don't like short hair on women, because "it makes a women less feminine". Really? Well, have you told this fantastic theory, to a big burly MALE construction worker with long hair? I'm sure he'd love to here your theory. That is, if he doesn't kick your ass first for calling him a chick. I get that women have always had long hair and men have always had short, but that doesn't matter. A persons hair length, is not a sign of their femininity or masculinity. It's just hair and should not be deciding factor in whether you date someone or not, that's just as ridiculous as the height thing.

Being an "Alpha" male- I see this on here all the time and I have no idea about this "Alpha/Beta" male business, nor do I want to. Because, I don't care! It's really sad that we have to pit men against each other and give one a label that makes them seem superior to other males, when in fact they are not. Let me also point a few things out 1) This is not the wilderness and men are not wolves, where there needs to be an alpha male to lead the pack or else they won't survive 2) Everytime I hear "alpha" I think of one of those college fraternities, guys try so hard to get into. 3) This is not 50 shades of Grey. The men are not Christian Grey and the women are not Anastasia. No one realistically wants someone who controls them and gets laid everynight, they just don't. Thus bringing me to, this does not belong in the dating world or anywhere in the world general. It's just plain stupid if you ask me.

Money, sex and other- Picking someone based on how much money they make, is wrong. Being with someone solely for the sex, is wrong. Deciding if you want to date someone or not because, they play video games, where sponage bob boxer shorts, have teenage mutant ninja turtle bed sheets, don't go to the gym, don't like your music, don't like sports, don't like vegetables or are a vegetarian, etc, etc. Are stupid things to even consider, when dating. Because, this is all meaningless stuff that doesn't really matter in the grander scheme of things.

I realize they are some races/ religions that have to date within that race / religion. I know that everyone has a type that they are attracted to, which I get. I get both those things. What I'm talking about is the people that turn into an obsession to the point they won't give anyone else a chance and treat the ones who don't fit THEIR type, like crap. That is a problem, because in the end what matters is not what they look like. It's what kind of person they are, what kind of connection/chemistry you have and what you can bring to the each others lives. All this other stuff is just petty and trival to the things that really matter in the long run if you want a commited relationship.

So, those are the things that I feel don't have a place in the dating world. If you have any you'd like to add, feel free. Thanks.

[RationalMale]

1. Race and skin color can matter a lot in dating. What if you want your kids to look like you? Hell, what if you're Chinese and you don't like Euros? We all have our likes, and the fact is most people overall want to date their own race.

2. Girls like guys taller than them. That's life. It's biology. It gives the girl a sense that her man is strong, can protect, etc.

3. Hair length. It very much matters. Since you're a woman, I can't expect you to understand this, so take my word for it. A long, nicely done hairstyle is a huge attraction plus on a woman, and a short haircut on a girl is like a guy who decides to gain 30 pounds for the hell of it.

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I've seen examples... knew one girl in college. Basketball player. She was cute with long hair, and we were interested in each other. Then she got bored of long hair and cut it short... I swear to God, she literally looked like a strangely cute boy. And since I want a pretty or hot or beautiful girl, I was no longer interested in dating her.

Another great example is that girl from Divergent. She literally had a mane. Now, in the second movie, she has a boy haircut. That murdered her looks as effectively as if she put on 20 or 30 pounds.
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You can preach that things shouldn't matter to guys, but for us, sexual attraction is a requirement. If a girl can't give us a boner... well, it's not exactly a dating relationship if sex is out of the picture, eh?

[bde0001]

i could not agree with you more.

[loveisbeautiful]

Did I say sex is out of the picture? No, I didn't.

[RationalMale]

Take owner, I didn't say you said sex was out of the picture.

I'm saying that of the points you mentioned, two are VERY important to men in dating, such as 1 and 3. Race matters because people are people. Hair length and style matters because a good hairstyle, like what Shailey had in her long hair pic, was amazingly beautiful. Short hair is a good way for a girl to ensure she doesn't "ping" on a guy's radar when he's looking for a date.

[Yeatts]

I disagree because there are some short haircuts on females that don't make them look like a guy. The ones you showed are basically what I would consider guy haircuts.

[RationalMale]

@Yeatts
regardless of whether women with short gair can still look female, point is, pretty much no woman alive looks anywhere near as attractive with short hair as she did or would look with long.

[Yeatts]

I get hit on more now that I have my hair short then I did with my hair long. So I disagree with that statement.

My bf has seen pics with me with long hair and he has seen me with short hair and he likes both even though he usually doesn't like short hair on a girl.

[RationalMale]

@Yeatts

i would say how many guys approach you means little, especially since guys are often intimidated if a girl looks too good. lots of guys only have the guts to approach girls that are 'attainable' aka 'she's not outof my league.

[Yeatts]

That still doesn't discredit my bf's opinion and before you say blah blah he's lying I am more likely to get upset if he avoids answering questions or lying then if he gave his honest opinion and he knows this.

At the same time guys are more likely to approach a female they find more attractive. It depends on the guy.

[peachblossomluck]

I'm sorry. You can love someone for their personality but there needs to be that chemistry which draws you there first. Being politically correct has no place in biological attraction. I've had my hair both long and short and growing it back out long. Why? I was prettier and more feminine looking that way. I don't have a problem using nature to my advantage. It's an intelligent move. If I don't like someone's body type, you can criticize all you want but you aren't the person who has sex with them. Socioeconomic status. I am used to living a certain way. I don't need someone rich but I also don't want anyone thinking they need my money. There is also an entire difference in the mentalities of people from low socioeconomic lifestyles than the one of someone who is used to living more comfortably. Living poor is rough and it puts undue strain on a relationship. The "Alpha" thing. I am strong minded so I need a guy who isn't whiny and insecure because I won't put up with that. I know better.

[loveisbeautiful]

Did anybody even read what I wrote? I specifically said that chemistry/ a connection is apart of the relationship, how do people keep missing that? I also said I know people have a certain type they're drawn to, which I understood. I also had long hair when I was young and I have short hair now, I'm not going grow my hair down to my butt just so a guy wants me. That's ridiculous, I'd rather just be alone if I have to jump through a bunch hoopes to make someone want to date me.

[peachblossomluck]

That's your choice.

[loveisbeautiful]

Yes, it is.

[peachblossomluck]

No offense but I think that most of us got the impression we were being shallow shamed.

[peachblossomluck]

The kitten in the middle looks just like my cat Whisper:)

[loveisbeautiful]

Nope, that's not what I was doing.

[godfatherfan]

Sorry but your first 3 statements just are not true. A person cannot dictate what turns them on.
1) I am not attracted to any women other then white women. I am not going to ask someone out that is black or Asian or whatever just to do it. That is insane. I will never be sexually attracted to them so the relationship will never go anywhere. The people that ask those questions are usually people who are looking to play a racist card.
The height thing falls into the same catagory. ALthough it is a little more under your control. if a man or woman is attractive then how tall they are or short they are should not matter. but for some people it might.
My favorite of all is "Hair Length"... I am one of those who will not date a woman with super short hair. it can be short, but not like a buzz or just super short. it makes a woman look like a man. I don't want to date a man. And yes, that construction guy looks like a woman. But since I am not an asshole, I would not say that to him unless he was a friend or I knew him. I tease my oldest son about his all the time. It is super long and it is Red. I would not have been allowed into my house growing up if I tried either of those separately.

the fact is all of this comes down to "what turns you on?" if there is no sexual attraction ultimately the relationship will not work.
Your right about the Alpha shit, I hate hearing that word also.
Also the last part... I don't need to be rich to be happy. I just need the right woman to love me. But the right woman is going to be someone I am attracted to...

[OpenClose]

I think she's talking more like "don't reject a girl just because of her race". That is, if you are attracted to a girl, don't be like "I can't date you because you are black." despite actually BEING attracted to her.

For instance, I'm not normally attracted to black women, either. Not because of their race, but because of other factors, like size or the stereotypical "black attitude", which was basically created by MTV. But if I find a black girl attractive, the fact that she is black doesn't prevent me from being attracted to her.

[godfatherfan]

I thought of that when I put the reply. I figured if that was what she meant she would let me know. If that is true, then we are basically on the same page.

[inamorata]

RACE is about looks and status.
Looks part is simple. If someone is not attracted to features of a particular race you aren't likely to date them. Period. My older brother thinks Asian girls look freaky because of their eyes. My younger brother thinks lips and noses of black women are gross. They can't help that.
Status is more subtle. Women try to gauge out status from any angle possible. Starting with your dress, confidence and assets all the way up to the color of your skin. A guy who is dark skinned, or Asian in my country is likely to be dirt poor, uncultured, lazy/deadbeat or simply a religious fanatic, that dark skinned and Asian guys are almost entirely ignored by all women in unison. If one were to date a guy like that, everyone would think she's of "low worth" too, which is why women avoid any association in extension.
I bet that America which has a marginalized and a struggling black population is no exception to this rule (at least to a degree seeing how black in your country do a lot better than here).

So race stays. You can't remove it without attacking human nature itself.

HEIGHT correlates with power. It is physically attractive to women because it implies said guy can protect them. Just like beauty correlates with health, suggesting a woman to be fertile. Height is a desired physical asset just like a beautiful face is. I am so grateful height is a part of the dating game, or we may have died out long ago.

HAIR LENGTH - You can rationalize it any way you like, but it can't be "removed". This is the same issue. What is attractive is what suggests health, but in this case femininity as well. A feminine woman takes care of her hair, she's gentle, she takes time to grow it instead of caring to be "powerful". A gentle woman who is diligent, healthy, soft, calm makes for a better mother and a wife that the warrior. It's encoded into us.

[inamorata]

BEING ALPHA - I agree, this is nonsense. It's man-to-man competition confused for woman-to-man partner selection. It's idiotic but guys keep repeating it. But women still want "alpha traits", or so men call them. Only these traits have nothing to do with beating other men. I addressed this nonsense in MyTake: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a8369-what-women-really-want-cutting-trough-the-nice-guy-alpha-male

[inamorata]

MONEY, SEX AND OTHER - So we shouldn't care if our partner can match us as a companion and satisfy our needs in a relationship.
I can't take you seriously, at all. Now I'm thinking I'm being the moron who is seriously replying to a satire or something... =/

[TheSpartan]

Literally none of what you said makes any sense.

Oh, and height correlates with strength and power and ability to protect? Tell that to that 4'0 dwarf whom squatted 650 lbs raw, or 5'6 Ed Coan, who deadlifted 901 lbs raw, or 5'5 Donnie Thompson, whom set the powerlifting total world record, or the 5'4 people of ancient Sparta.

[inamorata]

@TheSpartan Height, weight, muscle mass, speed. All things that show resilience and power in order for that man to fill his function. Of course it's not JUST height you moron.
Not to mention different body types are most fit for different tasks. No one is discussing that.

But overall, on average, features women desire are obvious and ingrained in them because they are trying to gauge out who is more likely to be a good partner. And being tall matters because it implies a PHYSICAL ADVANTAGE in most things.

[TheSpartan]

No, you're wrong. What does height involve a physical advantage in, besides perhaps picking fruits off of tall trees or playing basketball?

[inamorata]

@TheSpartan A tall guy and a short guy with same body type get into a fight. Who wins?
Hair doesn't help raise babies or make them. There are plenty of women with beautiful long hair that are infertile, and man-haircuts who are perfectly capable of bringing babies into the world.
It's not about centimeters and not about hair itself.

It's that people who had those traits WE SELECTED into our species because they were doing better. Women able to grow long luscious hair TENDED to be healthy and thus more likely to give birth to more kids and be good moms. So they were picked over bald women. While men who were taller than average probably had more weight and muscle all around, longer leg span for running, TENDED TO do better. So height remained a desirable thing evolution wise. It became related to masculinity and ingrained into women as an"attraction factor".

Kissing a short haired girl can feel like kissing a guy for some, so kissing a short guy can feel like kissing a girl.

[TheSpartan]

If a tall and short guy get in a fight, it's a toss up; short guys are quicker, punch faster, and are more agile, while the tall guy gets to fight from a "higher ground". However, if a 5'6 male and a 6'2 male were to fight, and both were 180 lbs, 10% bodyfat, with similiar body types, the shorter man would unequivocally win, because more of his weight would be lean body mass, as opposed to that of a taller guy.

There is no solid proof that height was a trait to increase evolutionary fitness. Men with larger frames and average heights were often stronger than those who were tall, and men with long legs (not necessarily meaning tall overall) were faster sprinters, but height itself didn't mean a whole lot of anything.

[koko124]

I think you're the first girl who's aware of the actual role that race plays in dating (beyond simply the looks).

And FYI, the race preference goes for both women and men. It's more obviously apparent in men, but if you look at which races of men marry which races of women, the preferences there are pretty self evident, and they mirror the ones that women have.

[koko124]

For what it's worth, I think that male height (and female curviness) are both traits that we ought not to like, even though most people do.

The traits were advantageous in the ancestral world, but they are not today, other than through our obsolete sex preferences.

Tall men are preferred because they are more intimidating to others (a trait which is defunct today). Curvy women are preferred because they are good at surviving times of famine (another trait which is defunct today).

What we should be going after are people with a high metabolic rate. This is a trait which is advantageous in our current environment, but was bad for us 5000 years ago. A high metabolic rate meant that more calories were needed to satisfy living requirements, but also that the individuals creativity, intelligence, physical status, etc., would flourish.

High metabolism is associated with traits that we generally don't prefer: non-curvy, skinny bodies in females, and shorter bodies in men.

[TheSpartan]

No, being tall was never an advantageous trait in our ancestral past. Height doesn't help in inter male conflicts, nor did it really help hunting. Stuff like frame size, fast-twitch fiber count, and shoulder-breadth did matter, but evolutionary biologists haven't found any tangible reason that height would've been an important evolutionary trait.

If by curviness you are referring to waist-to-hip ratio, then there are actual reasons why it mattered and still does matter. That is, a waist to hip ratio of 0.6-0.7 is a direct indicator of health and fertility. Height, on the other hand, is neither a direct indicator of health (though it is correlated with health when discussing large populations) nor fertility nor even testosterone levels.

[inamorata]

"the shorter man would unequivocally win, because more of his weight would be lean body mass, as opposed to that of a taller guy."
That's absolute nonsense. I've trained martial arts for more than 10 years. I've seen enough fights to know short guys don't stand a chance. Nor does someone being tall mean they can't adequately train their body to match a short person in other aspects.

I told you this is not just about being tall. It's being bigger. Most guys who are a lot taller also have fists the size of your head.

[Yeatts]

I disagree with your opinion on hair length.

Guys say "Oh I don't like girls with short hair" because when they think of short hair they think of females that have a haircut like a guy. There are short haircuts that can look good on a female and they still look feminine.

Also the length of a females hair has absolutely nothing to do with how gentle they are. Take a look at the females in videos on YouTube in females fighting and take a look at how many have long hair that are involved in the fight would YOU call them GENTLE just because they have long hair?

[inamorata]

"There are short haircuts that can look good on a female and they still look feminine. "
You're not a man, so you can't speak for them. Period.
Their tastes differ from ours.

"Also the length of a females hair has absolutely nothing to do with how gentle they are."
You have to dedicate time, effort, tenderness and really care about your body to want to make it ideally beautiful. I don't mean a gentleness of personality, but the deliberate kind of gentleness. One of manner.

[Yeatts]

I may not be a man but I do know I get hit on a shit ton more now with my SHORT hair then I did with my long hair. I also know straight guys who do like my SHORT hair.

My bf for example usually hates short hair on females however he likes the look of my hair short just as much as pictures he's seen when I had long hair.

Also the way you described gentleness of manner, you can take care of your body in ways other then just your hair ex. nails, body, face, skin, etc. Therefore you wouldn't NEED to have short hair to show that. Also short hair is usually healthier then long hair because it isn't exposed to damage as long because it gets cut fairly regularly.

Also based on what you are saying the females with long hair in those YouTube videos that are fighting would make a better mother then females with short hair because they have long hair is absolutely laughable. I have noticed that women with short hair tend to be more down to earth likely because they actually THINK FOR

[Yeatts]

THEMSELVES!!! They choose to have short hair because it's what THEY WANT! A lot of females with long hair have it because they think it's what EVERY ONE ELSE WANTS! They think they are less of a female if they have short hair which is absolutely ridiculous!

[loveisbeautiful]

"Women able to grow long luscious hair TENDED to be healthy and thus more likely to give birth to more kids and be good moms." Are you saying a women's hair length once determined whether she would be a good mom or not? Are you saying that's still true? Because, that seems ridiculous to me.

[inamorata]

@Yeatts "short hair is usually healthier then long hair because it isn't exposed to damage as long because it gets cut fairly regularly."
That's my point! Long hair to be long and healthy at the same time, you must be healthy. Short hair looks healthy either way. So if someone is preferring your because of health, long hair is a logical condition for sexual selection.

The rest of what you wrote is so moronic it doesn't warrant a reply. If you can banalise what I wrote and claim it to be "hair determines motherhood". And then make statements like "but I did well with short hair" and "short hair means women think for themselves", you're obviously so stupid and so dishonest in your reasoning arguing with you would be like yelling at a rock.

@the take owner - "Are you saying a women's hair length once determined whether she would be a good mom or not? Are you saying that's still true? Because, that seems ridiculous to me."
Same goes for you too. You have to be really dumb to ask this

[Yeatts]

ok first of all a female can be healthy but have damaged hair because of bleaching, straightening or curling which the majority of females with long hair do at least one of these things.

Also my statement about short hair can't possibly be more moronic then your statements about long hair and "gentle in manner".

At least my statement has logic behind it. A lot of females do have long hair because it is what society says women should look like and if you don't have long hair you are less of a female. Whereas women with short hair are doing what they want. It is something I have noticed with women with shorter hair. Yes it may not be true for all women with shorter hair but for quite a few it is.

I used myself as an example because it was something I noticed myself. I never said it applied to every female I mentioned it to prove that you don't have to have long hair to be attractive.

It seems when you can't find a good argument against something you just say it's stupid and move

[Yeatts]

on.

Also you did infer that long hair determines motherhood by saying:

"A feminine woman takes care of her hair, she's gentle, she takes time to grow it instead of caring to be "powerful". A gentle woman who is diligent, healthy, soft, calm makes for a better mother and a wife that the warrior."

Then when I pointed out women fighting who had long hair you said:

"You have to dedicate time, effort, tenderness and really care about your body to want to make it ideally beautiful. I don't mean a gentleness of personality, but the deliberate kind of gentleness. One of manner."

So instead of responding to my point about women with long hair fighting you just rephrased it to say they may not have a gentle personality but they have a gentle manner (if you can even have those two separate from eachother) and that is shown because they have long hair and because they have long hair they have all these qualities that make a good mother that women with short hair don't have.

So yeah you

[Yeatts]

inferred all that.

[loveisbeautiful]

"I have to be really dumb to ask that?" That's just rude, don't you think? I was just trying clarify what you were talking about, I think that speaks more to my quest to know things then my stupidity. I don't need you to agree with me, but you don't have to be a jerk to people about it. By the way, are you in the hair business? Like are you a beautician or something?

[inamorata]

"It seems when you can't find a good argument against something you just say it's stupid and move on."
Of course. You had no good arguments. Your understanding of my point was monkey level, it still is. Why would reply to a monkey?

"I think that speaks more to my quest to know things then my stupidity."
Bullshit. You didn't even try to understand what I was saying and open your mind to an intelligent conversation and another person's point of view. You just attacked and all you had was your dishonest interpretation of my words and your indignation. You LIAR.

[loveisbeautiful]

I never attacked you, I didn't even comment until last night. I'm many things but I'm not a lair. I don't care that people have preferences, I even said that in this take. I personally, do not have any and I'm more about the vibe of the person and what they bring to my life then what they look like. I'm after someones heart, not their face or wallet or someone with my same hobbies. I want the same in return, someone who wants me for me not what I look like or money or hobbies. Looks may get you in the door, but it's the only thing that keeps you there. It's never going to work. If you date some one who's exactly like you, in everyway. That won't work either, because couples are suppose to balance each other. Be the yin to the other ones yang, not be identical twins. That's just how I feel.

[inamorata]

Take Owner you just wrote a lot of gibberish, half of which wasn't related to the topic at hand.
Why?

[loveisbeautiful]

I was trying to explain myself and you want gibberish, you should look at what you wrote about women and there hair. Which also didn't really have much to do with topic at hand.

[Yeatts]

I believe the real monkey here is you.

I made valid arguments against your point which you could not rebuttal so you turned to name calling and claiming my argument was stupid.

[loveisbeautiful]

I never called you any names, I have no idea what your talking about. If you're referring to the jerk comment, you were being rude. Calling me stupid, just like you did right now. I do apologize if that hurt your feelings, that wasn't my intention.

[inamorata]

"I made valid arguments..."
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! xD

[loveisbeautiful]

What is so funny?

[inamorata]

Hahahahahahahahahaha! xD

[loveisbeautiful]

I still don't get what's funny, but since you are younger than me I shouldn't we surprised by the immaturity. I'm really trying understand things here, but if you don't want to tell me. That's fine.

[inamorata]

Did you just play the age card? Hahahahahahahahahahah! xD

[Anonymous]

Race/Skin Color: I am an Asian student dating a White American girl. White girls are beautiful, this my opinion. I do not want to force anyone to have the same idea, but this is my opinion. I am a biased bigot, that is all.
And personally, I will not date Asian girls because the Asian culture is totally a BS for me. Very terrible culture, whatever others say, I hate it. I will also not choose Black and Hispanic girls, because generally I feel unsafe and unreliable. Why? Look at the Ferguson looters and US-Mexico Border crossers.
But there may be some exceptions, but will not be a lot.
Height: I am 5'8", and my current girlfriend is 6'. I do not care about height, as long as she does not care. I just do not want a too huge height difference, such as she is so tall that I have jump to kiss her or she is so short that I have to squat to kiss her.
And from my experience, it seems height is not a big issue. Even it is an issue, it is not a deal breaker.
Hair Length: Having short hair is a turn-off for me. It will not break the date if we are already in a relationship, but it will prevent me from liking or being interested in a girl.
And yes, I think short hair makes girl less feminine. I know it is not really an indicator of femininity, but I just feel turned off. And I know some long-haired girls may cut their very short once, so what I mean in this paragraph is the short-haired girls.
Being An "Alpha" Male: I have some advantages, but definitively not an "Alpha" male, at least not now. It is easy to understand, but I find many males think they will be attractive only if they are "Alpha" males.
Money, Sex And Other: Apparently in the United States, girls do not care this a lot. But in my home country, yes, many girls care. I am from an upper-middle-class family, and I was literally told by many girls that I could fuck them for free if I would buy them some expensive stuff.
So, it really depends on people and their culture.

[Yeatts]

I agree with most of the things you said however people might be attracted to a look that a certain race so it ends up being a case of that is what they are attracted to.

Also with the other category there are some things you mention saying it doesn't matter in the long run when it actually does.

For example I am not big into exercise or sports and I love eating meat. So in a serious long term relationship someone who is a gym rat or a vegetarian will not mix with my lifestyle. The person needs to be able to mix into the other persons lifestyle if you are looking for something that will work in the long run. Some of those other things are stuff that legitimately can cause a relationship not to work out in the long run.

[loveisbeautiful]

I disagree, my Aunt is a vegetarian and her husband is not and they have been married for a very long time. She makes him meat and she just eats the sides she makes with the meal. Which is my point, a lot of things can work if you try but no one wants to try.

[Yeatts]

ok but the other example of a gym rat is still valid because you need things in common that you can do together for a relationship to work in the long term.

[rocelot]

Though I like and admire the point your trying to make your letting idealism get in the way of reality. You ignore same group preferences, biological or social needs, and even genetic preference through evolutionary tracts. What you listed are the rules, and they exist for numerous, sometimes complete irrelevant, reasons. Too many and I'm too tired to get into. But no amount of grand standing will make these the exceptions.

Other than your alpha/beta part; which is utterly wrong. No only do you get the alpha/beta dichotomy wrong, but then go on the make broad generalized statements with absolutely no relevance to the original point.

Also I'm totally bachelor three.

[OpenClose]

Bravo, Ms. LoveIsBeautiful, Bravo.

Especially for the Alpha Male portion. In fact, wolves don't even have alphas in the traditional sense. This was something that happened for wolves in captivity, and is fairly unnatural for them and quite mentally damaging.

In the wild, a male pairs up with a female. The offspring become the "pack" and the parents are the "alphas". You could say it's like the nuclear family, but the nuclear family is a fairly recent invention that didn't exist through most of human history.

Also, no woman should think men must be the more powerful, richer, stronger one, unless they also believe men should be above them in society. In which case, you are living in the wrong part of the world.

"Alpha" really is a chest-thumping douchebag philosophy, or for women who like chest-thumping douchebags.

[Northeast106]

@loveisbeautiful I agree with most of this list. The alpha/beta male is just bullshit, always has been. The only thing I disagree with is no preferences, I mean there has to be something to select in a partner. People have to be compatible if they are going to really settle down and live together. If one person is a devout Christian, and one parent is an atheist they will fight over the children going to church or not. Race and religion matter to some people, race I don't care about, religion it depends. Lifestyle choices and habits determine who a person is, and should be factored in when looking for the "one".

[loveisbeautiful]

I never said anything about preferences, I don't know why people think that lol. I'm just saying, a lot of things can simply be solved with compromise.

[Northeast106]

@loveisbeautiful height can not be compromised, if a woman wants a man who is 6ft and your not, there is no compromising. Everyone has to compromise to a point, but if it changes who you fundamentally are to make someone else happy then that's when compromise is a bad thing.

[loveisbeautiful]

Okay.

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

I disagree with some of this

I put physical attraction as a FACTOR into dating. So unfortunately, I don't find particular races attractive. I can't help this either, if I don't find a race attractive, I just don't find them attractive. I agree any person from any race can have a great personality but I value physical attraction more than personality (I know I'm shallow.)

For the most part, height doesn't play a role, however, in some instances, it does. I'm 6'3 and I've always preferred tall girls. I'll date short girls, as long as they're not too short. I couldn't see myself dating a girl who is under 5'0, that would be hard, especially since I'm tall. On the other extreme, I couldn't see myself dating a girl over 6'5, because that would be too tall. As long as they're between 5'0-6'5, I'm ok.

Other than that, I agree with your other points.

[Xelebrum]

So basically you feel that people shouldn't be allowed to have preferences of any kind at all?

Am I the only one who feels like this article is mostly, if not solely, based on the writer's own personal experiences?

[loveisbeautiful]

1) I never said that, but people seem to think I did. 2) These are not based on any experiences I had nor do I have any preferences. I'm a very open minded person and I'm more about a persons vibe then anything else.

[ObviouslyBored]

Thing is outer makes the person these days. If the soul mate of a man is in a woman with body fat. he will miss her everytime. Who cares who a person is on the inside if the casing is all wrong. Preferances can be shallow, but hey at least people are honest. What's worse is forcing attraction with a genuinely good person that doesn't suit your physical appeal.

[niahc]

Everyone has preferences, there is nothing wrong with that. Not all women care about these things, but if they do they probably can't help it. We are just attracted to what we are attracted to and thats okay as long as we are not going for abusive people

[zagor]

Unless the people you happen to be attracted to keep making you wind up miserable and alone.

[1GuyOpinion]

I respectfully disagree. Some if not all of those thing you list above all play a role in attraction. If I'm not attracted to her, I can't date her. Simple.

[loveisbeautiful]

Okay.

[Anonymous]

So what you're saying is that we need to throw out human attraction and ignore any preferences we have in who we are attracted to? I suppose next you are going to say we should have no gender preference either. Perhaps we should open our minds to animals as well...

Sorry, I can't buy into this because it ignores the realities of human attraction. It's PC taken to an extreme.

[loveisbeautiful]

That's not what I said.

[Opinion Owner]

Pretty much...

[Opinion Owner]

Regarding alpha males...

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a9167-why-the-alpha-male-always-gets-laid

[loveisbeautiful]

Not really and I read that Alpha my take.

[KäseChäe]

So I'm not allowed preferences because they don't belong in the dating world?

I've been doing it all wrong...

[loveisbeautiful]

I never said that, I even said I know people have types that they are attracted to and that I was mostly talking about the ones that take it to the extreme.

[kheserthorpe]

I don't want a partner with no preferences. I want a partner who prefers me.

[YourFutureEx]

Great words :)

[Anonymous]

Maybe in a perfect world... But everyone has preferences.

Sorry, but that's how it is. I'm a short white girl, and I prefer tall guys of other races. Why?

Because in my life I've felt constantly unsafe, and tall guys just feel safe to be around. I've generally felt more unsafe around white guys, so I don't date them.

If that's not a good enough reason for you, then tough fucking shit. My well being means more to me than strangers feelings and opinions towards me.

[loveisbeautiful]

Does anybody here know how to read lol? I didn't say anything about preferences. I even said I know people have certain types of people they like.

[zagor]

Your imaginary well-being, you mean.

[Anonymous]

I think the only deciding factor that should matter is if their face is good looking. It's what I do. I've dated other races, short men, chubby men, and they all had one thing in common. Their face was attractive. In my personal opinion, that's the way it should be. It's the face you see more.

[Anonymous]

Race is important. Maybe if you are brown you just get a lighter shade but if you are white it is totally different. White women and men are heavily hit on to get in relationships with other races because some others want to be lighter or have difgerent hair. But I want white babies to still exist. dating out is mainly targeted at whites.

[Powdude43]

So I'm reading "Things that have no place in the dating game: physical attraction"

[loveisbeautiful]

I never said that.

[AlwaysBelieving]

The big thing is "should." Good in theory but to apply it is another story.