Would you be mad if a girl wouldn't sleep with you unless she was in a relationship with you?

I've been seeing this guy who is a bit younger than me and I like him, he has said to me he doesn't just want me for sex. He's also told me that he loves me, but I worry he's just saying it. I've told him that I don't want to sleep with someone I'm not in a relationship with. And at one point we nearly slept together, afterwards I said maybe it was a good thing that it didn't end up happening because I don't just want some friends with benefits type of thing & he didn't say anything back but continued to cuddle. Anyway after a whole he said that he had to go and he said I'm leaving you I'm not going to talk to you anymore and he said it as a joke but then he said if we hadn't slept together and I still didn't talk to you after it would you be annoyed and I said well I would be disappointed, why? And he said you seem to just talk about sex and me using you. I said so you're going to stop talking to me and he said no it was a joke. I don't feel like he was joking though, why would you just say that.

Maybe I'm pushing him away by bringing it up all the time, or he just wants to leave because I won't have see with him yet. He has said he doesn't want to be single yet he still hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. The last two dates we had he didn't pay for me, which is okay but I'm starting to feel like he just doesn't want to spend money on me and that he doesn't really mean what he says to me. I'm so confused. Would you be mad if a girl wouldn't sleep with you unless she was in a relationship with you? I just don't want to be used :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope, holding back would actually make me like you more. It tells me you place a high value on sex.

    But thats just me.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Dump this guy, he is a player.

    That line: Anyway after a whole he said that he had to go and he said I'm leaving you I'm not going to talk to you anymore and he said it as a joke

    He just said that to play into your fear of losing him. The cuddle part before that, is just to create comfort.
    That trick he used on you is called push and pull. The cuddle part pulled you closer than he pushed you away verbally, but because body language is always stronger, the attachment in your brain is a tiny bit stronger. And he wants you to make you think about him, well it worked.

    He basically wanted to create fear of losing him in you, so you will try to give him sex, to keep him.

    Let me tell you this, no man who actually cares about you would get mad with you for not having sex outside of a relationship. Honestly, I would advice you to wait till marriage, I know that is old fashioned, but it worked for 2000 years and was changed 60 years ago. If you withhold sex in a marriage however would make you a bad wife.

    My personal view is religious based and I would want the girl to wait till our wedding night.

    That being said be careful, a guy should always respect his girl and a girl should always respect her guy.

    Again, I know some of the tricks and this guy is a player, best to let him go. I am quite sure he already has at least 5 other girls waiting for his phone call.

    If you want to risk it, go out with him on six or seven dates (but don't tell him how many it will be), avoid alcohol on those dates and just see how he behaves towards you. If he is really interested in you as a person, time doesn't matter for every second with you he wins, otherwise he just wants sex and doesn't care for you.

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    • We have already been on a fair few dates and he hasn't pressured me. He has said to me it's fine and that it's up to me. He ended up messaging me so I guess he was joking about what he said and he when he was leaving he had said I've had enough of you, thing is though we are both very sarcastic so we talk to eachother like that. But when he asked if I'd be annoyed if he stopped talking to him even though we didn't have sex, just doesn't seem like a joke.. I'm just confused as to what he wants from me. He hasn't once got mad that we haven't had sex but I'm just wondering if it will push a guy away, I don't know.

  • I sometimes have a similar humor especially on gag where i will say something to get a point across while meaning something different but i always make it very obvious.

    I respect a girls boundaries so yes i would certainly wait and he might aswell. The joke could have been a hint he feels second guessed every time you bring it up so he wanted you to feel how it would be if he was like that hoping you would stop bringing it up.

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  • That's completely understandable I mean if your not in a relationship why would you sleep with them

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  • Not at all, I would respect her opinion & wait until it was the right time to ask her out.

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What Girls Said 3

  • He sounds like an ass honestly. You say he's younger than you so he's probably not looking for anything very serious as you are. I'd honestly say move on and seek someone who wants what you want.

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  • I don't see why someone would be mad about it. It's seeking commitment... it's only natural.

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    • I just meant would a guy be mad if he has to wait.. but I guess time will tell. I guess I'll see if he ends up contacting me after seeing me. And if he doesn't I guess it will show he isn't worth it. I did think well he is younger, I wouldn't think he would want a relationship at his age but he has said he doesn't want to be single and that he loves me. It's hard to know if he means it though. I do keep second guessing him :/ and he goes out a bit so imagine all the girls he can meet :(

    • Yeah... I get it. Well... see how it goes...
      Good luck! =)

  • If he gets mad about it then you should dump him. He is clearly not worth it.

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