Going Dutch on the 2nd and 3rd date?

I know I'm gonna get blasted by guys on this, but I was wondering if the 2nd & 3rd date is too early to split the bill? He paid for me the 1st date, and I was really surprised when he accepted my offer to split on the 2nd, and then actually asked me to split on the 3rd. Also he works full-time & knows I'm not in a great financial situation right now. I'm all for equal rights but I can't feeling a bit disappointed, like if he was really serious he'd be willing to invest a bit more. I've had bfs in the past & they've always had no problem paying for at least the 1st month or so. He wants to go out again, but I'm not sure I'm feeling it (he seems like a nice guy otherwise).. am I being totally unreasonable about this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm that's a tricky one. My ex didn't let me pay for a date.. not once. But all guys are different it really just depends since a lot of people are not traditional. You should probably observe how he treats you in other ways.

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What Guys Said 8

  • I think that if his financial situation is much better than yours he should offer to pay no matter if it's the second, the third or the twentieth time you go out. But if he doesn't offer first you could at least choose places that both of you can afford without being short afterwards.

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  • Yes, you're being unreasonable. He probably wouldn't have asked if you didn't offer going dutch on the second date anyway. Also, if you are truly for equal rights, if you expect him to pay for you the first date, you pay for him on another date? Or am I taking this too far?

    Anyway, I did not intend to make this sound harsh, but in my opinion, this is pretty normal.

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  • You are just being a woman. It's ok.

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  • Maybe he just wants to avoid feeling used for his money, not saying you would, but there are some grimy women who will use a guy for a couple of good meals or some temporary excitement. It all comes down to what you've been used to, this guy just happens not to be like the others you've dated. Don't let this become a dealbreaker as you could miss out on someone great, maybe not now, but eventually.

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  • I usually pay the bill and do not mind until like a month. That is if we go on dates at least twice a week. After like 10 dates if the girl doesn't even attempt to split then I got a problem...

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    • See, I would expect the girl to pay for the first 6-7 dates. THEN if she's not just another tramp or gold digger I will pay for her. The problem with your approach is if the girl has no intentions of ever splitting bills, you don't know it until you've done treated her a dozen times. Then she'll up and leave your ass for being cheap, and you've wasted a bunch of time and money.

    • You gotta have a lot of fucking game to pull that off.=)

  • There is a weird segment that thinks going Dutch somehow makes it not a date. He probably expected to pay for you, and he may believe the thing I said in the previous sentence. Dutch dating shouldn't be a surprise: it's supposed to be arranged in advance.

    Unless I'm going Dutch: the person who asked should be the person who pays. I have limited experience, but if the other person is unclear, insisting that you pay could show "I mean this to be a date".

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  • Given how many women use men and dating as a free meal ticket and a source of entertainment while having no interest in getting serious, I cannot say I blame him for taking this stance.

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  • I think you need to check your white cis-hetero female privilege!!!

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What Girls Said 0

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