When a guy friend wants to take things slow?

I've been friends with this guy for about 5 years now. We wanted to date 2 years ago but past relationships got in the way. On our senior trip, he kissed me and then we never had contact again. We're going to the same college now (as freshman) and he came to my dorm and he told me he got mad at me because I didn't talk to him again. We ended up kissing and cuddling and he told me he loved me and I asked him if he was sure it wasn't a crush and he said he doesn't think that crushes last 4 years. He ended up feeling me up and I told him he was going too fast. The next day, he told me I was right and he wanted to take things slow because he doesn't want to mess up our friendship if our relationship doesn't work out. Now he barely talks to me when he comes over and last time all I got was a hug. He does stay from like 3 to 11 though. He told my friend the same thing, that he doesn't want to mess up our friendship and he always wants to stay friends no matter what happens. We also did a test to see if he would get jealous by having a "guy" call me and he kept asking questions and got really mad when he thought I gave him my number. So I'm almost positive he likes me, I'm just confused on if he wants to date or not. It's hard to figure him out. Does he only want a place to chill between classes or does he actually not want to mess things up? I'm so confused. What do guys usually mean when they say they want to take things slow? P. S. Sorry it's lengthy but I figured I should tell our history.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The two of you should really sit down and talk. He sounds like he is just as confused as you are. He doesn't want to wreck the friendship so he slows down and backs up a little which would indicate that he wants to keep it at the friends level. On the other hand he got jealous about a potential rival so part of him wants to pursue it. You need to talk. Try not to do anymore "tests". Guys don't like games anymore than girls do.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Setup boundaries now. Act as if you were just meeting a guy for the first time and starting to date. You don't sleep with him right away unless you're into that sort of thing. Go out somewhere, get dinner and talk. "Get to know" eachother.

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  • I think its just a response to when you said you guys are going to fast. He doesn't want to cross any boundaries. If a girl told me we were going to fast i'd probably step on the brakes. He doesn't want you to judge him.

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What Girls Said 0

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