How do you keep a guy interested?

It seems that with dating sites and social media being so prevalent, finding someone has become even harder. It's so easy to "meet" lots of people, and talk to them all at the same time. Everyone seems to think that the next one that comes along is going to be better than the 10 they're already talking to. How do you keep someone interested when you're one of many? My title asks about keeping a guy interested, but I'm sure girls probably do the same thing.


Most Helpful Guy

  • With guys you basically:
    Flirt mildly.
    Talk about things both have in common
    Make plans
    Talk about trying new things
    Don't down him
    Encourage him
    Help him
    Don't have do most of the talking text bk " ok, I guess, etc" that's a boring person.
    Make sure you understand what your doing and make clear. What I mean is dudes on auto want you. Be lust of actual relationship by default. Make sure make clear that your just want to be friends until you feel something may spark from it.
    Lastly try not over think things, read too much into it or bring your insecurities to the table that's a turn off, that's not cool, and we'll get uninterested quickly.

    • I really like your answer @Junlian because I think this encompases exactly what needs to happen to gain interests. It's not going to get you 100 percent there every time, but it will definitely help!

Most Helpful Girl

  • " It's so easy to "meet" lots of people, and talk to them all at the same time. Everyone seems to think that the next one that comes along is going to be better than the 10 they're already talking to." UGH!! THIS TIMES TEN!!

    Seriously though, what has dating truly come to when you can't even keep someone's attention? This is the thing that really frustrates me the most.

    The only thing you can do is try to talk with them about stuff you are passionate about. I find people like passionate people. I know I do. Even if I don't have an interest in the subject, hearing their passion for it always makes me happy.

    I also think that showing interest helps. If you show a guy you like him, I think he will be more likely to like you back. I don't think playing games is really the way to win. Maybe not be incredibly needy, but don't give in to everything either. Try to strike a balance but with each interaction be positive. If that makes any sense.

    When you meet, make it memorable. I find most people will meet at the same places. In my city there is a park where people meet all the time. That gets boring, especially if you have been online dating for a long time. Try to do something unique. That will peak their interest and make you stand out :)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • If someone keeps waiting for something better to come along, they are obviously not ready to be in a relationship. Therefore, you should understand that the process is working just as it should. The people who are not ready are being weeded out so that the ones who do present themselves as available are better candidates for what you want. You will go through many people before you meet The One. . . but you only need one person to be The One.

  • Well some of the things in the MHO are ok but why the F'in hell would you want to have a woman ask you questions like your in a press conference? that would make me get up and just leave or end it very quickly.
    the problem is, like almost every question on this site, it all depends on the guy.
    My perfect first (maybe 2) dates is that we meet and she does 95% of the talking.
    I want to know all about her. Of course that takes time.
    I once dated this woman that was militant about not knowing about my ex and she would not talk about hers. Well when your in your 40's, most of us have been married and have some kind of family. I am too old to only know you from now and forward. I want to know about you and your life. But then once I do have that information, I don't want to keep talking about your ex. I do my best to not mention mine any more then needed.
    that is what just broke up me and my girlfriend of 8 months. she just could not let go of her husband that died 3 years ago. I will not be a distant 2nd place to someone who is long dead. pisses me off because I told my sister after our 2nd date that if nothing major happens I knew right then I would marry her one day.

  • You are touching on a question I have asked before. Not really how to keep someone interested but how do you "date" in this idiotic Tinder'esque dating world we live in? My opinion is that people have adopted this immediate gratification expectation and that the next new thing is only a right swipe away. Makes people disposable. I have gotten to the point that if I meet someone who doesn't want to take the time to get to know me and is always waiting on something better to come along, I just walk away. I don't need that type of person in my life.

    The right person will not require you to do anything but be yourself to keep their attention.

  • 1. a shy guy is easy to keep interested The shy guy is always terrified the girl will lose interest because he knows he moving so much slower than other guys would.

    2. a truly shy guy is not going to be able to make any productive use of social media or dating sites.

    3. a shy guy may seem uninterested when he eventually gets frustrated because he is unsure you like him and is not sure what he can do to figure it out. To keep a shy guy interested your going to have to be significantly more forward than you normally would be.

    • What about if you text a shy guy and he doesn't respond back? Maybe he's not interested?

  • I think a lot of people are just looking to have fun without a serious relationship, but regarding the guys that may be interested in a serious relationship determining if you're compatible is something I bet they are trying to figure out. I think a combination of trying to be a good version of yourself is important but also finding a person your compatible with is important too.

  • Just get to know them always ask questions about whom ever your trying to maintain interest in you. Then after that keep on going brith his or her favorite things, and make sure your positive about it laugh at the person's jokes. Make eye contact. Always take an intrest in what he or she likes (people of the opposite gender love it when there potential partner can tolerate what they like). Let me know if you have any additional questions.

  • You hold a gun to his head

  • Stop spending so long on the online 'talking' stage.

    Meet in person, move forward, if they're not ready within a few dates to try dating exclusively, move on.

  • Kindness for one, thoughtfulness , showing interest in what they do, dress up once in awhile , be willing to try new things and be open minded


What Girls Said 2

  • It's gotta be mutual... I've been on both sides of this... Talking to people is just such a norm now that it doesn't hold much until you start seeing eachother in person and going on dates... If a guy is interested in you he will show it, if you have to work to keep someone's attention this early on... It's prob not a mutual attraction/interest

  • You can't keep him interested if he just not feeling the same thing.