A 26 year old man dating a 16 year old girl?

What are your opinions?

The couple have her parent consent so, YES, it IS legal.

The man is not trying to get in her pants, and how "been together" for over a year.

The man is a "friend of the family" so he has utter most respect for her family, and vis versa.

They talk about their future and have known each other even before dating.

Is this "wrong"?

Or can it just be fate.

Mind you, there are MANY couples 10 years apart.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds a lot worse then it actually is. It depends on the people, really. He may be 26 years old, but act younger. Or she may be only '16 years old' but act way more mature for her age. If they mesh well together then both can contribute to the relationship, not just him because he's older.

    I'm not sure if it makes a difference that the parents consent of this relationship, either way you should keep it on the DL until you turn 18 ;)

    On your last part of people being 10 years apart. Yes I definitely know there are couples of big age difference. Like Hugh Hefner and Holly for main example. But then again, they are both older then 21. The years before that age you're still growing up and changing, after that, your lives are around the same level, you're officially 'grown up', holding down a place of your own, jobs, life, etc. You get what I'm saying? That's the only worry that would arise is that he is what he is, 26. He's doing all that, while you, 16 years young, are still growing up

    • Keeping it on the DL just indicates that the person(s) involved already know there's something not right with the situation. They need to be honest with themselves and with each other about why they are having their relationship. If they are having it to just be rebellious against parents or authority or because it's "forbidden", those are not good enough motives. If they are truly in love, time and honesty will keep them together. They don't have to be on the DL if they love each other truly

    • The only reason why I suggested for them to keep it on the DL is for legal reasons.. nothing about their love. I'm not sure if he can still get jail-time if her parents consent the relationship or not, they'd have to find that out. They can still BE together, I'm not saying DL in the sense of them not being together, but for legal purposes, they shouldn't flaunt the age difference around

    • As long as the age of consent is 16 in their state there's really no reason to keep it on the DL since even the parents can't do anything in that case. Most 'cases' you hear about are when one one of the 2 people has a picture of the other on a phone or something since then it's covered by Federal laws that are 18. But otherwise it goes to the state level and the age of consent.

What Guys Said 6

  • My understanding of the You. S. Law was consent for a 16 year old from the parents pertained only to marriage; and even then the couple had to wait until the minor was 18 before legally consummating the marriage. The older person could still be arrested, regardless of being married, if for some reason the couple was encounter having sex by the police.

    People change once they go out into the world and live their own lives apart from relatives and school. Around 23-25 is when most people turn into the person they are going to be for the rest of their life. Even if you do spend time with this guy, your priorities may change later in life and you could decide he isn't right for you.

    If you really get along with each other, there isn't harm in doing activities and such. The best idea may be to just stay good friends until you are older; not officially date or do anything romantic. Use the two years to think about what you want to do with your life. Where do you want to go to college, what career do you have in mind, are there any places you'd like to travel to and see. After two years of being his good friend and thinking about your life goals, if you still feel the same way, go for it!

    • I agree and don't think it's wrong to like someone who's older if you are 16, but to remember that feelings and lives change with time and experience. You may be rushing into something that could leave you burned. I would definitely take it slowly and evaluate your motives and his as well. You should never jump into "love" blindly but use your head also.

  • Depends on their personality if the 16years old girl is mature enough and the 26years old guy is like a big kid then they probably click perfectly but from a view outside(people who doesn't know them well) will think its a bit weird, It's surely better if the guy wait for the girl turn 18, so they are both in the adult age group rather a teenager and adult. After all age is just a number, if they able to have a good relationship and love each other then nothing really matter.

  • He should wait until she turn 18

  • If it is true love then the guy is gonna wait until the girl is 18. If he is a pedestrian then he will try to exploit her innocence.

  • I'm in the same situation and it's frustrating. It feels so right <3 but it's all kinds of wrong. She's too young with no experience, that explains it all. What kind of man would I be if I took this 16 YEAR OLD GIRL on dates!?!? She's not old enough to buy spirits, let alone cocktails! While I'm off to work living in the real world with real problems, she's off to HIGH SCHOOL hoping to get out of P.E. Class. No matter how much we like each other or how well we go together, she needs time to grow as a person. In her state she's too naive and the things she wants, whether it be material or feels, are always changing. All I can do as a man is be noble and be there for her. It's hard though... I catch myself being at war with my heart and it makes me act foolish =T. I need to move on and get over it. The though of us together is just silly. I say it's wrong, wait until she turns 21 and if you still find that kindle burning, then go for it. Good luck ;D

  • It doesn't matter if the parents consent to this action. The United States law is the law for a reason. Think of it this way, is it okay for a 22 year old to date a 12 year old. Ten year difference and yes what if the parents consented in this case also. I'm sure most would agree that a 22 year old has NO RIGHT to date a 12 year old. Questions always arise in cases like yourself. Why is the man so interested in dating someone in their mid-teens? How often has he fantasized of dating a woman so young? I know it sounds like he is a child-molester but if I were you I would think about stuff like that before the relationship gets serious. Do some research and you will find that most child-molesters start with the people that are closest to the families such as relatives and very close friends of the family.

    Now I'm not saying that this man is a child-molester. I'm just saying to at least consider it before the relationship goes too far such as marriage.

    If he is interested in young women then I would begin to also question what happens ten years from now and the couple is still together. Will the guy still be interested in her OR will he STILL be interested in someone YOUNGER?

    • On a side note, I'm 26 and in my opinion I think it is wrong for my generation to date someone 18 and younger. I designate a 19 year old as someone who is mature enough to decide whether they want to continue education or not. Of course in my case, I didn't make the mature decision until I turned 23.

    • Totally understandable.

      And 22 and 12 ISN'T right.

      I've also thought about your last part.

      Hmm. Thank you for your insight.

    • That can't be used as an example because kids shouldn't date until they are at least 14 but it would be even better to wait until they are 16....thats a really bad example. Besides the 12 year old girls I know aren't interested in boys.

What Girls Said 12

  • totally wrong honey a guy who can't get a girl his own age is a looser

    plus the "girl" has so much more to experience before reaching age 26. i'm 22 and just remembering when i was 16 to now lots of things have happened and changed, imagine how much more 'till i'm 26. no no that's not ok.

  • Gross and weird.

  • i think its all right...b/c he is known by the family...i'm 16 and most of the guys in high school don't know how to be what we look for in a guy. And if he treats her with respect and they have feelings for one another its okay.

  • Yes yes there are couples that are ten years apart or maybe even more but you need to know that those couples are like ages 21 and older and it makes it ok but since she's a minor and he's not, it really doesn't make it ok because the 16 year has different perspective of life then the 26 year and it kind of makes it harder, the 16 year old doesn't know anything about being an adult or having a job and a lot of stuff, I'm not trying to put her down but I'm just saying that the 26 year old man has a lot more experience and I don't just mean in relationships I mean like life experiences and this can ruin the relationship even when they can hit it off great but still there's a lot more work that needs to be put in a relationship like this because of the age difference. Just take that in mind. Sorry I'm not saying it can't work but there's more work since they both have different lives, which can make things a bit harder. Its sort of not ok because many people will think he's just trying to get in her pants, and it might hurt his reputation because maybe his family/friends might get the wrong idea of him because he's dating a "16" year old, hmmm?

    • Hmm, very good point about the "life experiences".

      Didn't cross my mind about that.


    • And by the way I have a cousin whose in the same situation too and she's like 20 and he's like 30 years old and she really likes him and everything but she feels like he's always teaching her something because he knows a lot more then her and she feels like she can't contribute to the relationship because she's younger and has not much to offer to him because of the age difference and experience, soo that's why it makes it a bit harder for the relationship to work.

  • My issue here is that this girl is still in high school. High school age people need to be in relationships/seeing other people in their age group. If she is spending all this time with this older man, where does that leave her if things go south? She may be incredibly mature, but I was very self aware at 16 as well, and the changes I have undergone from age 16 to age 19 (where I am now) are astounding to both me and my family. I feel that she needs the time to develop on her own without the overpowering influence of an older boyfriend. And what if she wants to go to college? She'll be getting out at 21, ready to start her life, while he is 31, wanting to be married?

    Long story short, at least wait until she gets out of high school/turns 18. Give her some space to develop into a woman on her own, because I think having a boyfriend so much older at this stage isn't so great an idea. When she's 19-20ish, sure. But not until she's gotten that chance.

  • Same situation c: I'm 16 and it feels right it's not about the sex he doesn't want that. He said if I said no to him he'd understand he's like a kid and I'm pretty mature for 16 s were perf for eachother. Yes it's crazy but he makes me happy we talk about our future together he makes me wnna do something with my life I'm about to turn 17 in a couple months and one month after he will be 27 my parents think he's 21 and I can't wait til I'm 18 and he's 28 yes we looked that far in the future but when I'm 18 he wants me to move in and when I'm 22 have kids with him an start our family (: I plan on telling them he's 26 when I'm 18<3 I'm gonna keep it on the dl his parents ex cop military dad and brothers a cop don't care aslong as we're happy my dads a cop too and I just am scared to tell him but we plan on having some pretty cute tan babies he's German and native and I'm biracial and he's just all I ever wanted and all I ever need

    • Yes girl that's what I'm saying I was 16 and my man was 24 when we started dating an we have an apartment together and a puppy we call our baby and were still crazy in love like we first were and never had an argue ment ever!! He waited till I turned 18 as well for sexual relations and we also too discussed our future and every thing even from our age gap and all that when we first started dating he also said if I was sure about this because he wanted to make sure I had my head straight about experiencing stuff for my own an stuff like that but I'm very mature and I knew what I wanted already and what I want so I told him I wanted him now we are soul mates and I don't regret us getting together at all...

  • Well I can tell you from experience is do it if it feels right and if he feels like the one and not just trying to get into your pants I AM 18 YEARS OLD NOW and my man is 27 now as well we started dating when I was 16 years old and he was 24 now we have an amazing apartment together and are happily together still we are both still crazy in love like when we first dated actually and it's crazy too we never had an argue ment or fight since our 2 and half years together we are planning to we'd and move to Minnesota honestly I know he is my soul mate we really fit in with each other it is really crazy !!! My mom had given him permission when we first dated because to her it made sense that she would rather have a man that respects her daughter an not just trying to get into her pants rather than a YOUNG HORNY BOY... Which is true I am very wise beyond my years and I have an old soul which I think makes it work between us my man supports me to finish school get a career and get on the right track while he pays the bills and takes care of me as I do for him and before we date we discussed every thing from situations with our age gap to 5-10 years what where want to be in that time do we discussed every little thing even as am I sure I wanted to date him so I can experience things for my own and stuff like that but I knew what I wanted and that was him... So don't get scared of age difference he could end up being the one NOT UNLESS HE JUST WANTS TO GET IN YOUR PANTS AND HAS DATE YOUNG GIRLS BEFORE cus for my man I was the first for him to date a way younger girl and he said I act way more mature and more lady like than his exes and aunts !.. just keep it in the download till your 18 k hope this helped

  • Uh well hell I was close to dating ten years apart so yes wrong maybe but I'd do it.

  • Well, to the people saying they disagree, I bet you wouldn't disagree if it were two females instead. We shouldn't stereotype every male as a paedophile.

  • usually I would think this wrong, but I'm now in the same situation myself...

    met my current boyfriend around 2 years ago at new years and since then we have had feelings for each other but never told anyone due to the 10 years age gap (16 and 26) but luckily due to a very drunken night out we ended up telling each other. I would consider myself pretty mature for my age group and him not so mature so we get on really well and the past 5 months have been great. :) its fine as long as you don't forget your own age group and if you get on with eachothers friends, I've always grown up with people a fair bit older than me so I had no problem and honestly, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me! :) x

  • I consider myself to be open minded, but I'm sorry this is weird case scenario. Its not just the age difference its the difference in maturity and life experience between the ages