What do you think about a older person 20-26 dating a person who is the age of consent 16-17 vs someone Someone dating a 18 year old?

[Anonymous]

please dont just say grooming i wanna have a whloe talk about this.

so my co worker max 23 Years old ended up dating a 16 year old girl now 17 which is the age of consent in my state. Christian lied to max about her age till she turned 17years old. i at first assumed max was lying about her saying she was 19 hut she later told me he wasn't lying. christan told me that she known how old max was and made up a plan with her friend to trick him into being a wingmen to help her friend get a boyfriend so she can try getting closer to max which worked.

i somewhat thought them dating was wrong for a few reasons. 1. younger people are easier to groom 2. i can't see myself dating a 17year old. but im now over it after talking to a few friends who dated order guys amd younger girls. i a friend i went to college with that was dating a 16year old boy no one cared and she's now married to guy. i have another friend who polyamorous that dated 3 older guys she lives in the uk all 3 relationship failed since they won't okay with open relationships.
i notice most people dont care if a 20-30 year old women dates a 17 year old but only have a problem with it if a men does it.

my uk friend said she feels if the usa can charge a 12year old as a aduit then it shouldn't matter if someone who is the age of consent sleeps with someone who is older. what do you think?

[Anonymous]

There's a lot you went through there. Consent is often referred to a person's choice to say yes or no, but more complex is that person's capacity to make informed decisions.

Looking at brain development, a quick google (admittedly not an academic article), suggests brain development continues till about 25. For me this is complex as I think teens should experience life, make decisions about relationships and learn from them. I also am somewhat liberal in my attitudes between age gaps. And another thought, it is weird that a person who's 17 in my country is viewed as not sexually available to adults, and then as soon as 18 hits they're given full freedom and responsibility, when they haven't grown and changed as a person, they've merely existed one day past their 17th year.

More complex is people age differently, some 18 year Olds lives make them wiser and more experienced, some 25 year Olds are less mature due to inexperience. So who's to say what someone's "Internal Age" is, regardless of their body's age.

So that brings me to some key words, informed consent, intent, responsibility. I generally think teens are informed more by emotion and recent adolescent experience, not invalid, but specific. So I generally am more comfortable with similarly aged teens being together than a larger age gap. I anectodally observe brackets of ages that are informed by similar experiences as emotional states, 18-20, 20-25, 25-35. The range gradually increases, in my mind, because people become more experienced, have a greater understanding of themselves (therefore a greater capacity to engage with others), and have potentially began to form patterns regarding their emotional and mental state (patterns equating to regularity and less chance for rapid swings in impulsive decision making).

So I cannot simply say I agree or disagree, I think it's complex and influenced by the above factors (and more). I think culturally in my country we could me more open to conversation and understanding, though I do believe the older person in a couple (when the younger person is 17), has a higher level of responsibility, and must be held accountable by friends and family, recognising that their actions and decision are potentially more informed than the younger persons'.

[hakangirer]

everyone is free to do what they want

[Asker]

so you dont care?