One of my friends he's not particularly unattractive but he's very, very average and he always seems to go for extremely attractive girls and its fine to go for a girl that you find attractive but if the girl you find attractive is also attractive to 100s and 1000s of other guys and they're lining up for her too, then there's a problem. I think he has this nerd to hot girl fantasy, think Shia and Megan Fox transformers or Penny and Leonard, big bang. He thinks some hot girl is going to walk into his life and think it's sexy that he plays Xbox all day and has watched every star wars episode a thousand times and that's fine but when it doesn't work out that way, he comes crying to me that he can't find love and yet he keeps chasing these girls ! And they either use him or reject him. He's my friend I'll be there for him but it's getting ridiculous with the moaning and whining about how he can't find love and yet he's only looking for superficial things. Why do guys do this?
superficial things? attraction is not superficial. you never know. im pretty average maybe a bit above, and I've landed a couple of 10s. if you told me that i was only worth a 5 so i should only date 5s i would say "ok so im not going to date at all." the only reason he would get upset over it is if he believes that he is worth that.
and why wouldn't he. society preaches that you should find someone who loves you for you. he hasn't realized you have to completely change yourself to be attractive to women. and he hasn't realized that love isn't all about some random connection that you'll finally meet this person who loves you for you. thats what disney and society preaches so thats what most people believe. he hasn't realized what it is women value yet.
but even then. there are still hot girls that play xbox all day.
but its not a male only thing. many, many western women have a HUGELY inflated sense of self worth. so many looking for "prince charming". to the extent that a woman who is a 5 gets with a 9 in her 20s then thinks he's below her then they end up losing value quickly 35 onward having turned down many great men because they thought they were worth more only to have to settle for a 4 or 6 when their biological clock starts exploding. this is quite a common thing. mmm. well at least it isn't *uncommon*.
my question to you is why do you think this is a male trait?
Can happen both ways (to both genders) -- typically it's a combo of these things, though maybe slightly more of a male problem (perhaps since males tend to be so visually-centric in terms of their attractions):
1) Failing to properly assess our own sex appeal.
2) Some romantic idea that simply caring a lot for a girl and treating her nicely will make us attractive to them.
3) Virginity. When guys are virgins, instead of lowering their standards they tend to raise them, since their sexual experience is limited to fantasies and imagination.
Wow girl, you are shallow as hell and as arrogant as hell too. I'm so glad I've turned girls like you down, you are a jerk.
Take an hourglass, turn it upside down and think about what your best qualities are whether they define you as a person and whether or not you will still have those qualities when you are pushing 40 years old. Write them down and meditate on them.
I seriously doubt you will be able to do this, you probably can't stay still, silent and alone in your own head that long.
That's kind of a shitty thing to say about your friend. I think there is nothing wrong with him pursuing who he is attracted to. And to call it superficial... it's not really like that. If that is all you are attracted to, then you can't change that.