Why do girls behave bitchy/obnoxious/mean in bars and nightclubs?

I don't understand it, don't women go out to have a good time and meet new people? On a weekend I'll approach women to strike up a conversation and they'll behave oddly like bratty or in some way childish... is this normal for women to behave like that? At first i thought i smelt kinda bad or something so I double checked and walked over to a group of men in the venue to join group conversation and got a good response from the guys when we were all exchanging jokes together and everything went well.

Updates:
So how would I know if a women is interested in these venues? what signs should I look for? Its not like they walk around the club with a frigging radar.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because seldom do they experience an adverse consequence when they engage in such behaviour.
    I learned early that it was a waste of time to approach females who were in groups, especially in nightclubs and bars.
    Where I live, the young females competed with the group to see who could devliver the most bitchy, or vicious, putdown to males who approached them.
    Investing time, money and effort in the pursuit of female company is a fool's errand.

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    • ... I have a funny feeling that this is going to be the most honest answer of this post

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    • Your a wise man OP, your like me... your an indigo man haha but yeah I know what your saying though. All throughout my teenage hood to early adolescence i realised from experience and knowledge that being the good caring humble guy for women didn't get me any results in life or in general... an sometimes even backfired. I now have to change my personality and put on a alpha psychopathic persona just because women do not value a gentleman or a good guy. Just imagine a world where women weren't attracted to money, power, greediness and psychopaths, the world would be a better place where there be no violence, crime or suffering. The average chump is left with no options but to become these toxic aspects just because women are mentally ill and irrational.

    • Have you had any luck being an alpha male?

What Girls Said 18

  • So I've tried the nice attitude many times before and kindly rejecting them but that way they wil NOT LEAVE ME ALONE AT ALL. Lol. I'm telling you majority of times, if a girl is nice despite saying no or rejecting the guy, he will take it like:
    7f9c61237bd6e732e57e-5fa18836a2ae6b5e7c49abcc89b20237.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/5239311_kate-upton-isnt-ready-to-get-married-to_t6f996585.gif
    Only way I found that works is straight out giving them a bitchy face of disinterest, and such. Sometimes I even have to legit push the guy away because some force themselves onto you.

    To find out if a girl wants to talk to you, generally she'll give you eye contact. Rarely she'll go up to you yourself lol, but it can happen (if you're attractive 😅). No eye contact and she's probably not interested.

    As for myself, I go out to dance with my friends. I don't mind talking to guys however, majority of the time I find myself being grabbed by guys, sometimes they pull me away from my friends, grind on me when I don't wanna dance with them. Etc. Etc. Easiest way to get rid of them is be mean. That's just how it is unfortunately.

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    • lol they even push a guy, when they approach to that guy and that guy shows disinterest to them.

  • what on earth are you expecting from those places? elegance, modesty and chastity?

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    • Its called manners and respect sweet cheeks. Its not very lady like speaking or behaving that way to people, god knows who's raising girls these days, some of the behavior was just vile that you wouldn't do in any setting. Except a whore house lol , I thought bars were a place for social gatherings and positive vibes.

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    • Are you serious when admitting I am right?

    • She is confusing man

  • Only when intrusive guys are around (and there usually always are at least one or two) because that's just annoying af.

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  • women dont always go out to meet guys. a lot of times the attitude comes from assuming (rightfully or incorrectly) that the guy who approaches them is a thirsty guy who just wants sex. also keep in mind that not everyone knows how to turn down someone gracefully. some women think if they dont want to talk to a guy then they need to be standoffish and distant so he will get the hint and stop talking to them.

    next time make eye contact with a woman before approaching. the girl who looks at you a couple times and returns your smile is the one who would welcome your attention. on the contrast, if she can tell you are looking at her and she seems to be avoiding your eye contact and ignoring you then dont talk to her

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  • They're not interested in you, and unfortunately being even the slightest bit nice to a guy who is hitting on you at the bar tends to give them the idea you're interested, so we default to being bitchy.

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    • to be honest, you don't have to be that nice. just straight: "I'm not interested, sorry" -> that's it. No offence, no misinterpretation unless the guys a fucking psycho (and if he is, you're just going to get MORE shit by being rude and catty).

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    • I have literally had a guy pester me for like an hour wanting to buy me a drink and then when I finally said ok and let him buy me one he followed me around the rest of the night trying to dance with me and buying me more drinks even though I kept telling him to leave me alone. And then, I shit you not, as I was leaving he followed me out of the bar and tried to get into my cab with me and started screaming at me about all the money he spent buying me drinks all night and that I owed him!

      THAT is the shit women deal with from guys at bars. THAT is the shit we have to try to avoid.

    • 'easy to say'

      easy to say when you're not a single, frustrated guy having to deal not only with rejection but rude, catty women that want to break your confidence and humiliate you, and then you go online and read some b. s. justifications of lame behaviour that you know are b. s. from times you've had to ward off aggressive guys yourself in the past (sometimes guys wanting to start a fight, sometimes guys asking for money, sometimes homosexual guys trying to hit on you). in short, I've been on both sides of that coin, I'm well aware how it works, believe me.

  • They may not be attracted to you or may just not be interested in conversing with strangers im general. I know I don't like people and when I'm hanging out in a public place and a guy tries to hit on me I get sort of annoyed, I'm not there looking for a relationship.

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    • Just because a woman is not physically attracted to a guy doesn't mean she should give him an attitude. You think it is ok for a woman to be bitchy to a guy because she is not attracted to him? Wow, how about turn him down nicely, instead of being bitchy to him and you would probably be ok with a good looking guy hitting on you in a public place?

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    • @MaiNameIsSunshine well do you agree with a female being a bitch to a guy at the bar or club that is nice and respectful to her just because she doesn't want to talk to strangers or just because she isn't attracted to him or whatever the reason is? Yes or no? Now we are talking about the subject.

    • That is what I thought, you not responding to me asking you if you think is wrong for a woman to reject a guy harshly at the bar or club just because she is not attracted to him or doesn't want to talk to strangers proves how you have no problem with them a woman rejecting a guy badly at the bar or club that is nice. How ironic you got me immature when you are clearly the immature one.

  • Because they are surrounded by creepy guys trying to get into their pants

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  • Because we can! Duh! You can! Try it sometime!

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    • Naa i'd rather not thanks, I was brought up by a decent family with values :)

    • @Asker

      if only I could upvote opinion comments, lol

  • Men are the same way and I don't think you guys even realize it. I'm not talking to a guy with alcohol on his breath referring to me as 'sexy' without asking my name and being all up in my bubble.

    Besides, it's a fucking bar. Who did you think you'd find there? Snow White?

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  • They be drinkin'.

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  • Girls feel empowered when there with another group of girls and they get all their anger out. That's why I don't like to go to bars with a group

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    • what makes them feel empowered?

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    • @steven7890789 know you attacked me saying that I need to grow up and so do my friends. I've told you or I've mentioned it that I don't like to go in groups. Now you talk about immaturity. This is not the case. This is group psychology. The same would go for a group of men. Read what I write not what you think. Don't apply your feelings to what I'm saying. Group psychology empowers people forget girls or guys –PEOPLE. You want to feel powerful – join a group like the KKK for example. Or the people voting for Donald Trump

    • I am not racist, so no thanks.

  • Because you can't be like that in the office 5 days a week.

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  • It's probably because they don't want to be approached. Maybe they're having a girls' night, a boyfriend, aren't interested or looking right now or maybe it's you.

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    • @bente2 you mean unless the guy that approaches the single woman is good looking right? Also just because a woman is not interested, etc. it doesn't mean she should be bitchy towards the guy. No excuse to be bitchy towards a guy that is respectful and is nice. Look at the guys post talking about bitchy women.

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    • ... Now i know the reason why under 18s are not allowed to vote yet lol, your say in this world does not matter because you teenagers have no idea what your talking about and everything you is just hormonal bitchy trash talk you hear on high school playgrounds. I am only stupid for arguing with a 15 year old girl who has no right to an opinion since your brain hasn't fully developed yet to be capable to handle debates which I understand but please get off my post you annoying little girl. Go play with your barbies because you honestly have no idea how much utter tripe you are chatting right now.

    • LMAO. "Adults" trying to invalidate me for my age. Hilarious. Listen buddy, my age doesn't mean I can't have an educated opinion, my intelligence is way too high for that. Academically I'm at the highest level in my country. Some teenagers might not voice their opinions right, but I do. And if I weren't 15, you would've just shut the hell up because you know I'm right. You're just too thick and stubborn to realise. Bye.

  • IF i go to clubs it's because I wanna have a good time with my friends, drink and dance WITH THEM!!

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    • You forgot to say unless it is a good looking hitting on me, I will accept him having a conversation with me.

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    • Well answer my last message, if you don't answer my last message it shows how you are ok with a woman rejecting a guy harshly at the bar or club that is not being a jerk.

    • That is what I thought. Truth hurts you.

  • Because we are drunk and horny lol

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    • ... it still dont make sense

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    • so do I but dont women wanna bit of fun on dancefloor ey ;-)

    • well if you were that horny, you wouldn't act in ways that would indicate disinterest and repel men from making further advances, lol.

  • It's because they probably aren't there to hook up with a guy, they are there with their friends and if that's not the case, maybe you're just creepy.

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    • Unless the guy that approaches them is good looking right, then they would be ok with him talking to them? And regardless if they aren't there to look for a guy, if a guy is respectful towards them when approaching it is messed up to be bitchy towards them when they are nice. There is no excuse when the guy is nice. They don't have to talk to him but no excuse to reject the nice guy in a bitchy way. You seem to be ok with a woman being bitch towards guys that talk to them in bars even though they are nice.

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    • What makes you say that?

    • You are a fool.

  • Okay, so there are three kinds of women in that bar. 1) True bitches, you won't have any luck with them 2) women who want to have a good time, but what's hitting on them does not appeal 3) Those who are looking to have that great time and who are more open about it. Sorry there is no way to really know who's who, but I'll tell you why at least no. 2 exists. If you are an attracting woman, you've been hit on by everyone. Literally everyone. Women have standards. So do men... so let's not pretend that women should just accept everything that asks b/c I wouldn't expect guys to. Most decent women try to be polite about rejections. Sorry, no thanks, thanks for asking... but then you get responses like, well you must be a bitch or you think you're too good, or you aren't even worth it, and on and on, so those guys can pretect their ego from being hurt. It becomes really hard to know who's just being genuine and wanting to have a good time and who the a-holes are. Sound familiar? It's unfortunately going to be a lot of trial an error if you're trying to pick up at a bar, but perhaps, and this sounds totally creepy, watch the behavior/body language of your intended for a minute. If she seems more open and friendly with those around her, then try the approach.

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    • What is this bullshit with being creepy around women these days? Its just that because a man approaches a women in either for a sexual advance/proposition or to find out if she is an available sexual partner... the guys labelled a creep. Its men job as always to approach women because if it was left to women to do the approaching the planet be extinct of human life lol so somebody has to approach and women do it rare. Like I said in my updated question, If it was possible that women were walking around with a radar above their heads saying "not available" it would certainly make my life and hers very much easier but that's not the case. Also the way women dress most of the time pretty much screams to men "approach me! approach me!" the way I see it is that women go out to these venues to do a bit of attention seeking whoring like they do on social media on a daily basis.

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    • Did you read my last message? Read my last response to you and respond please.

    • Please respond

  • Come to England, we're much better.

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    • Are you sure about that? I heard the women there are just like American women or in fact worse.

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    • @Asker

      Birmingham

    • @the_rake brummy lol

What Guys Said 22

  • They're actually there for attention and also they get more attention by adding that bitchy obnoxious attitude. Not many will notice anyone if you are not loud.

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    • I agree has to be for attention seeking, I mean why else would women go on a night out in next to nothing clothes on in middle of the winter and trust me it does get cold even when I wear a blazer. With all there flesh showing in freezing cold they must be obviously trying to attract men, I think the only reason why they have this attitude with men is because there attracting the men they want at the venues. Since they probably only want the alpha male in the club that all the other women are competing for I assume.

    • Honestly in this case women are looking for anything relationship wise or even sex in general, they just need the validation and attention of men. It a need of being feminine to want attention, so if you go out there keep in mind it's like a hangout not a dating circle or place to find a woman. You would have better luck in the afternoon at the super market, many of the women wearing workout clothes are not actually coming from the gym, they're looking to attract a guy for a relationship usually. The bar and nightclub is just for fun.

  • Kinda self defense: some girls behave bitchy/obnoxious/mean in bars and nightclubs because bars and nightclubs are the kind of place where they expect drunk/obnoxious/mean guys. If they're there with a boyfriend they fear to get him jealous. If they're there without their boyfriend they fear other people will snitch on them and get him jealous.

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  • Dude, when it comes to clubs you gotta be as bitchy as them. You won't find the best people at those places.
    I don't know why girls have that weird attitude, perhaps it's looking hot + all the attention they get that makes them feel like goddesses, and a goddess will never fuck with a peasant, so you gotta be a god too, ergo, a bitch xD
    You may not be a bitch in your regular life, but that's what clubs is, you gotta fake it, you can't be all goody-goody and expect a chick to open her legs for you, I can assure you that works 0% of the time.

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    • @AleDeEurope NO WAY man. It sounds like you dealt with these problems too at the club like this guy. I am shocked man , because to be honest you are good looking. No homo. You had problems?

    • @steven7890789 sometimes I did. Girls feel superior to guys in clubs cause guys drop to their knees to get some, so you gotta show the girls you aren't beneath her and you're not gonna crawl for her.

    • @AleDeEurope that is sad man, that you have to be a jerk to them for them to accept you. What women are like this at the club. The good looking ones, average ones, or ugly ones or just most of them regardless how they look like?

  • bitch shield, you have to penetrate it by calling them out on their behavior by teasing them about it, you can't act offended or get thrown off balance, when you deal with the curveballs the girls will eventually crack and lighten up and let you know if their interested or taken or not interested

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    • do you know how hard it is to penetrate that bitch shield, its like walking on egg shells.

  • While yes, they might be interested in meeting a guy, you're not the image of the guy they have in mind. Plus, they don't know you and think you're only there to get laid. The fact that they don't know you and probably aren't immediately attracted to you puts their bitchshields up.

    Bars and nightclubs are difficult venues to pull unless you have some sort of physicality, whether thats height, build, and/or facial features, that separates you from everybody else. Having social status doesn't hurt either.

    To say that pulling in clubs/bars requires a fair amount of superficial currency is being polite.

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    • So what your saying is women are staying away from all the guys in the bar who are trying get laid but will make an exception if a tall guy with model looks is looking to get laid?

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    • Sorry dude.

    • @fermatote lol dont worry think chats over now anyways

  • It's because they aren't attracted to you. Sorry, don't shoot the messenger

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  • check out this:

    illimitablemen.com/.../

    'Many people seem to think that shit testing is a social device unique to women; whereby a form of social test is employed to determine the social fitness of a male in order to discern if he is a viable sexual option or not.'

    More generally,

    'when somebody “gives you shit” and fucks with your head to see how you will react, what you are experiencing is typically a (series of) shit test (s) ... We use shit tests to make value judgements about people, likewise they can be used to determine how people cope under pressure. The underlying mechanism of shit tests is to test your mettle.'

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  • A lot of the time they're out with friends, not looking to meet new people.

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  • The idea that guys make the first move to establish a relationship with a girl is kind of rubbish. Smart money watches for signals from a lady that she is receptive to an approach. Without her subtle invitation you are inviting rejection.

    Look for "understanding sex signals" by Leil Lowndes for the masterclass.

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  • DON'T waste your time in such establishments. You end up looking desperate and foolish, unless you like hanging out with your "bros" in such places.

    Your odds of meeting women are better on internet personals sites than in bars and nightclubs, and that's saying a lot.

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  • don't worry. they don't act so tough on their way back to their car. teehee

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  • They probably just don't want advances form you...

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    • So you think that makes it ok for them to be mean to him? They should reject a guy nicely man not harshly. I can't believe you are ok with women rejecting men harshly at bars and clubs.

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    • @steven7890789 Nope, just saying some really insecure girls put up a bitchy front. Then when you turn the tables on them cleverly and are unaffected by their shitty attitude they change their tone... They're not the best girls to pursue anyway, just saying things aren't always as they seem.

  • Sometimes they just want to go out a have a good time with the girls...

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    • Unless it is a good looking guy that approaches them, you forgot to add that part right?

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    • @steven7890789 I dunno but he probably part of the problem. From sounds of it he could be your typical beta orbiter, white knight or mangina. He is part of the reason women are self entitled spoilt human beings that are whoring around with bad men and players.

    • Yeah man, I understand

  • Yes it's normal.

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  • You won't find modesty in a bar man. Whether you like it or not. Avoid those women. Don't expect to change them or turn people away from them. That's expecting too much

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  • Because if you go to that kind of place you will find that kind of person. Try a park or library or the streets

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  • Because all that noise.

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  • They are their to sniff coke, suck dick and get guys to buy them drinks that is all

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  • because their ego is blown up bigger than saturn.

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    • blame social media and dating sites for that... especially tinder (I fucking hate that app)

  • Because, it is written in their DNAs.

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  • Well sometimes they just want to have fun in their company and not deal with guys or get picked up

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    • Unless it is a good looking guy right?

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    • @steven7890789 Men Going Their Own Way, basically not dealing with women anymore and enjoying single life

  • Most of the time, girls go out, not to be hit on, but to have fun with their girl friends. So, if they get approached by men, they'll be standoffish

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    • That's a lie cause they will be out to just have fun with their girlfriends unless a good looking guy hits on them right?

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    • right?

    • Id be slaying pussy everyday like dan bilzerian

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