I've been wondering this a lot as of late because previous partners have done it, but why does my boyfriend ignore me when I'm upset? When I'm down and, let's say not very mentally stable, if it's via text or online, etc, he'll just disappear for hours on end. He knows that I need him but he'll just go offline or not reply for ages, and then eventually replies with no reason as to why the reply is so late. I have a feeling it's because he just can't be bothered to put up with me - which I guess I don't blame him for, but it's still pretty upsetting. Any answers anyone?
A lot of guys are really bad at dealing with emotions, and confronting them, in themselves, and their partners. I HATE seeing my girlfriend crying, or upset, and my first instinct is to 'FIX' whatever it was that made her upset!! Unfortunately, for guys, that is usually NOT what she wants and needs!! Women need to talk out their issues, and they just need someone to listen, understand, and be there. Most of the time, going and punching the guy that upset her (guy's response) is the LAST thing she needs!! It took me a while to figure it out, and understand that just a lot of hugging, and being close, and just listening helps her more than saying what she 'Should have done' which it the MOST WRONG thing possible!!
Some guys are not good at comforting at all. Some guys simply cannot be bothered with the effort and time it takes to help. Now, no offence, but sometimes people get upset over stupid things and he may be just not interested in bullshit drama.
Probably because he was there for you in a previous situation and instead of being able to bring you up into a better mood, you might have inadvertently dragged him down into your level.
While ideally, everyone should be able to rely on their partner for emotional support, sometimes it's easy to experience a bad situation or twenty with them and then want to actively avoid dealing with that.
It's a bummer, but if he starts associating you with a bunch of negative emotional scenarios, it could put a real strain on the relationship.
Most guys don't want to deal with mental issues unless they are psychiatrists and even then not when they are "off the clock". They also don't like epic levels of drama. If you are making it sound worse than it is (ie just need a shoulder to cry on every so often but not a daily ritual where you need to break something to feel better) then he's probably just a jerk. Dump him and find one that is at least less of a jerk.