Is it worth chasing a girl who plays hard to get?

Is it worth the time and effort, when all they do is be receptive and not iniatiate, as well as warn about certain behaviours she won't accept? Honest answers please because it seems to be happening to me and im starting to care less and less


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Its not worth it. If she's into playing games when you finally do get her she is going to find another game to play with you. When a girl is into you and likes you she will let it show and you will know without asking. In my opinion when a girl is playing hard to get she is keeping her options open for some guy that she might already like or she's doing it to kill time till what she really wants comes around. If you know what you want then don't play the game with her. Just move on all it will do is make you mad and annoyed. I say let her go you can do better especially without the b. s

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope
    Don't do it

    Playing hard to get is usually based on narcissism and/attention whoring

    It's an ego boost and nothing else. It tells them they're wanted and they like the feeling of knowing someone's gonna bend over backwards just to get a chance at dating them. They don't want to lose that feeling, so they'll only stop when they get the feeling that you're tired of trying and will move on to something better

    You throw your time, effort, and self esteem to someone who purposefully rejects it for their games. I call it parasitism.

    If you go after her and bend over backwards and they finally accept you, they already have all the emotional power. It's a gauge to see what you can and will do and how far you'll go for her

    I don't play games. Being genuine is the best way to go

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What Girls Said 19

  • If she truly is busy & she has a busy life, don't take it personally. If she doesn't have a busy life, then she's obviously playing games - move on.

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  • Why not? Most girls play hard to get. I'd love to be fought for.

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  • That's annoying, you either want to be with me or not.. playing hard to get is childish to me.

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  • I personally would never chase a guy playing hard to get. It's not worth your time and effort when you can find a girl just as good, if not, better. They also to begin to think they're Queens or on a pedestal when guys are chasing them. I use to do the same thing, just too see how bad he wanted me. I don't fuck around anymore. If I like him, I'll give him a chance, simple as that.

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  • Sounds like a bad idea. Girls like that are usually immature

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  • Not really. Have you ever talked to her about you wanting her?
    If not then you should probably consider doing so. If you talked about it or at least given some signals about you liking her, then leave her alone. Why even bother talking to a girl who clearly don`t want you

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  • I don't people who play games, so I'm gonna say no. It makes me care less and less over time as well.

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  • If you think she is worth it. Girls like the chase and usually guys like the challenge.

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    • 3mo

      She never hits me up but is always there within seconds when I message her. Told me "If you pushed to meet me then we wouldn't be talking anymore".

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      Yeah then just go about asking her to meet when you're ready and if she makes another excuse then I just wouldn't bother.

    • 3mo

      Just to clarify I never actually asked her out. But yes I will do that

  • I honestly wouldn't bother. Find someone who doesn't play games because they think they are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

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  • NO.

    ABORT THE MISSION. I REPEAT, ABORT THE MISSION.

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  • Not if she is playing it

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  • Yes it really is

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  • Yeah, I love a challenge

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  • NO! if a girl loves she won't play hard to get. maybe she really wanted to test you

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  • yes as it's nice and a challenge

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  • No. Also, she doesn't seem into you at all.

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  • sometimes it is. to me, i am a girl who has high morals and respect so i probably come off like this. however ask yourself if this girl makes you feel good when you're around her or if she seems to care about you? some women, whether it is due to their culture, life experiences, or personal beliefs are just hard to get by nature. to me, i think thats a good thing because that means we have very discriminating tastes and won't allow ourselves to be used and ditched by just any guy. but you know this girl better than we do. is she kind? does she care about you? do you love her? or is she just mean and selfish and bitter?

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  • Sometimes people have a good reason they are playing hard to get. For me long ago I was near a bomb blast as a child. I lost many I cared about the two days of bombing. After I needed medical care.

    When I saw others again at first things were sort of ok but for awhile I lost my ability to speak. Coming back from the doctors there was a car crash that killed my parents. Luckily my siblings weren't in the car. Even though a procedure was done to help me regain my voice for a little while I was selectively mute. Further things happened in life. My family members caught in civil wars.

    I decided to do something to stop it so I entered the military. Like everyone else in the military I got shot at, there were more bombs, grenades, landmines, poison gas, flamethrowers, etc. Working as an engineer and doctor I did at first get assignments in what was deemed safer areas. Sometimes working totally outside the warzones. But eventually they called me in and in the military I was in it was required we serve active duty in the war zone at some point. I survived it but not without injury. Due to my training I was in a few air shows and other things. My F4 went down and my partner died as he didn't eject properly. Next few crashes I was the lone survivor. One was shot down the other was a maintenance thing with the wrong clamps on the plane causing depressurization.

    Anyways I've ended up in and out of wheelchairs. I've had strokes. I didn't want the other people to worry or feel burdened. I wasn't sure if they'd reject me in that state. So I fought my cancer quietly alone and healed from battle injuries alone. When I was with someone between that things were fine. Just society's attitude towards injured vets or people fighting cancer wasn't so good. Wasn't very good for peoples self esteem either. Eventually one guy proposed in sign language at one point. Another time military split us up but he kept finding ways to get near me including joining the military and getting on the same bases.

    So sometimes it isn't so much hard to get as people dealing with life issues.

    There was one guy that might of taken things that way. I was older than him. As a little girl I remember when he was born. His father was a few years older than me and we had been together. The younger guy's mom was a lesbian who asked my partner at the time to help them have a baby. So he did. Later I watched the kid grow up. Later the same guy hits on me. I was almost his sort of stepmom.

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  • It's not worth it if you don't know how to make her stop playing the chasing game. Much you need to learn more about women 😝

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What Guys Said 36

  • No. I prefer relationships based on being genuine. No games.

    #"Ain't nobody got time fo' dat."

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  • Ask her out once and that's it. If she doesn't say yes or doesn't respond or whatever, you forget about her. Never chase anyone.

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  • First, let me tell you something very important: No matter what anybody tells you, the final decision is yours to make. You can either go with what most people say, or go with what you WANT to hear. We give advice, not commands. With that said:

    1) You must be sure she is actually playing hard to get and not acting uninterested.

    2) You must be sure that the girl is worth it. This is where boys and girls with disagree. Boys will tell you no girl is worth any games, while girls will tell you most of them do that all the time and that it's part of the dating game. But it's not that girls are cold-hearted b*tches. They do this because they might have been hurt in the past and are afraid to commit, they gauge your interest level, etc.

    And finally, you must really understand your possibilities. People will tell you "there are a lot of fish in the water", but you have to be sure if you are fishing in a small pond or in the ocean.

    For example: I'm a very shy guy. I've had less than 5 female friends my entire life. So it's not that I can get any girl I want. And whenever I find someone, I'm willing to go into this games because that's what I can get. But for other guys, it's easy to say that because if they see a girl acting like this they can get another in 5 minutes.

    But whatever you decide, if you feel that's the right choice, then go for it.

    Good luck :)

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  • For the most part, in my opinion, it is always worth it to give chase to a girl you have an interested in and not become discouraged, because she’s playing hard to get and making the situation more difficult for you than you’d actually life them to be. Especially if you have genuine feelings for her and care about her enough to put in the time and effort to win her over.

    This being said, there is such a concept as being “too” hard to get. Some females in my experience have taken this concept of the ‘chase’ too far; to the extreme, and it isn’t about the chase anymore or making you chase her, but become a situation, where she’s just leading you on and likes the attention you’re giving her and so long as she never gives you a straight answer or initiates anything, she feels you’ll continue the game and you’ll stay focused on her. Some people are like that. They crave the attention over anything else, and don’t really care how it affects you on a personal level.

    There is a reasonable amount of time, which should be adhered to in regards to the chase and you’ll have to decide when you’ve reached your limit if the girl continues not to reciprocate your attention and affection. There is no time limit in the unwritten rules of the chase that says you have to continue the game indefinitely.

    Use your own best judgment of when you feel enough is enough. Your timeframe is going to be different from others; don’t worry about that. Do what’s best for you. If you want to extend the limit then do it. If you want to stop right now. Again, that’s up to you. You need to do what feels right to you and only you. You’re the one in control of your own happiness. Follow your instincts and you should be okay.

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  • It's funny, all these girls say "why not? I love to play hard to get" yet they always say "I don't want a guy who plays games". I mean seriously? LOL
    If she's playing hard to get, you have to decide if it's worth it. Some guys enjoy the chase but if it's ongoing I would think she's doing this because she's keeping you close as a "standby" while keeping her options open.

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  • No, I don't think so. There are so many women out there, if she wants to play 'hard to get' some other guy can go after that.
    I don't play games, and that seems like a 'game' to me.

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  • Girls do not play hard to get if they are into you. That's some weird thing someone invented, and isn't true at all. They may not sleep with you right away, or fo a long time, but that is personal convictions, not hard to get. If she likes you, she'll at least hang out with you. If she's actually playing hot and cold, that's really immature and I'd move on anyway. So in either event, it's best to move on. I do say that with a caveat, because some girls want to know that you are genuinely interested. But i'd say past the third time asking her out in a few month time frame, move on, she's not into you

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  • Personally I would not since that is a clear sign that she either doesn't respect you, doesn't take you seriously, or is just not plain interested.

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  • Maybe if she's consistently hard to get. I have little interest in a girl who is hard to get for me if she was easy to get for her previous partners.

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  • It really depends. How many dates have you had with her? Is she flirty at all?

    There's playing hard to get then there's just playing games and wanting attention. If you keep on asking her out and then she keeps on dodging it, makes excuses then move on but sometimes you gotta be patient.

    There's a girl I like who I've had one date with so far and it took 3 weeks to meet her and she's got a very busy schedule. There was a few days where she wasn't initiating so I gave her some space then texted her and we're still talking.

    I guess the key is to stay in touch but don't be over bearing.

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  • If you start to care less then that is her loss. Don't put to much thought into this. If she REALLY wants you and she sees you drifting away she will change her ways. Otherwise she really wasn't worth the chase. The chase is only good if both parties are happy about the chase.

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  • I don't chase women. That's idiotic.

    Recently... I was talking to this girl and she kept pissing me off. Every time, I asked her on a date, she told me she would "think about it" and t hen every time we would plan a date, she would tell me "I'll think about it".

    You know what I did?

    I deleted her number and cut communication with her and I went out with a different girl who didn't need a week to "think about it".

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  • If she is PLAYING it, then it is NOT worth it and a waste of time. If she IS hard to get, then keep chasing her

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  • With a girl like this don't spend too much effort pursuing. Go talk to other girls and let her take some initiative for a change.

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  • naah its not worth it, if she wanna play games then i dont think she's mature enough.

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  • It's not worth it. She is purposely making you work hard for no good reason. you may have to chase her a million times and still not get her and even if you do get her, she will continue to play even more games in the future that is going to be a lot worse. Show her that you don't tolerate that kind of crap. Any girl tries that shit on me, I will never talk to them again. There are millions of girls that don't play hard to get. either find someone else or remain single.

    Also by chasing girls that play hard to get, you are encouraging harassment, stalking, and rape of innocent girls. There are girls that will say no and actually mean it but the guy just thinks she's playing hard to get so he will continue to harass her to the point of getting the police involved.

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  • SHE MUST BE WORTH IT!

    I hear/read from Men today that women aren't women anymore. Meaning, women are not feminine and dress like Men.

    Find out if any of your friends know her. Use Social Media to find out more about her.

    LISTEN closely to what your friends have to say, especially those friends that "have your back"!

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  • Its good to chase the girl you like, whether she is hard to get or not

    But if she's 'playing' hard to get that's actually a good thing. Even if she's actually hard to get. Because that means she's at least willing if you press the right buttons

    But sometimes you have to distinguish between that and her just not digging it or worse not attracted physically to him. If thats the case its game over before it even started

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  • In most cases no, she think too high of herself, unless she is not playing.

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  • Don't bother with someone that plays hard to get. Unless you want it to be a challenge your whole life anytime you want anything in the relationship. Those people are just selfish and mean.

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  • No not worth it you try once or twice and then move on , there are plenty of girls to be following one around , i learned the hard way and iam telling you it is not worth it if she is intereted but plays hard to get.

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  • Nope.

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  • no its not, she is just playing with your feelings.

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  • Its rarely worth it

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  • It depends, is this the type of girl that once you get her heart she going to by loyal supportive and a lifelong friend no matter what? If you anwser no than it's not worth it.

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  • There is no such thing as hard to get. If they're interested, they'll try to put their best foot forward. If they don't do that, do t waste your time.

    Stay beautiful,
    -SJ

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  • Only you can decide that for yourself.

    For me, it isn't.

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  • Well it's like business. If you like her l, chase her but also get other women

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  • It is not worth it. find another girl who is normal.

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  • Nope she isn't worth it

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