"Talking stage" for 5 months. Is it too soon to expect a relationship?

So I've been dating this guy for about 5 months now. He's sweet, listens to me, makes me laugh- all that good stuff. I really like him but I'm not sure how much he likes me. I've never been in a real relationship. The only "boyfriend" I ever had was some on-again-off-again guy who treated me like shit. I want a real relationship but not if the other person isn't as into it as I am.

I recently spoke to him letting him know that I am looking for a relationship and don't want to be in the "talking" stage forever. He told me he's scared of relationships. I understand that, I was too for about 5 years but that really doesn't change anything on my side. My girlfriends tell me to just drop him. I'm not sure if I should or if I should give him time to wrap his head around the idea of a relationship. But then I'm thinking how long is too long? I don't want to just sit around waiting for him to make moves as if he's the only one who has a say. Anyone have some advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Start "pressuring" him, just a little. It's definitely time to start or move on but it's important you're both comfortable also. You obviously think he's worth it because you're not wanting to give up like your friends would (awesome) so just talk to him. Say you're ready and it's time (if he wants you), you know he's scared but so are you and you just have to try it as see how it goes. Then physically do things like go out on dates, have him over to your house or you go there etc. Things you'd do in a relationship. You can still go slow, but start heading in that direction. If he doesn't put forth the effort, then maybe move on?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That's not too soon, that's actually too long and the fact that relationships frighten him is very unsettling. You should never pursue something with someone who doesn't want the same things as you. I agree with your friends, you should just drop him.
    Obviously you have greater feelings than he does and even if a relationship was to result how committed do you think he'd genuinely be? Especially at the first few months. You guys might have a successful relationship later on but trust me things will arise from your early stages of being a couple or even in just "Talking" and they're going to eat you up.
    You should want someone who wants you just as much. Clearly he doesn't care enough if it's taken this long, especially if you're already intimate with him and already act like a girlfriend. You've basically given him everything without him doing anything. So what's the point in putting in more effort than needed?

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What Guys Said 2

  • No, give him a LITTLE time to think it through and then put him against a wall.. and.. well, you know! See how he fancies that!

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  • Scared or not, is he willing to go for it though

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What Girls Said 4

  • If you don't like him that much, then drop him.

    If you like him a lot, fight for it. Hold out and stick around. So you can't put an official title on your relationship... but if you're still exclusive, then you're exclusive.

    As long as he's only focusing on you and not playing the field I don't see the issue.

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  • Just give him time more and after like a month just confess that u like him and looking for more than just talking... grab the chance if not other people will

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  • Don't drop him, if you really cared for him you'd wait and respect that he isn't ready right now. You can't rush happiness. If he knows you're ready for a relationship then it may convince him to trust in you. You never know what's happened in his past.

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  • If you love him, then give him sometime. Tell him that you are willing to give him some time to relive some pressure or etc he might be feeling.

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