Is it hard to find pro-life girls to date?

OK first let me say that I do NOT want an abortion debate. I am pro-life...(or "anti-choice" if you wish to use that terminology, although its kinda not accurate in my opinion) Anyways...I just kinda would never want to have a relationship (especially sexual) with someone who would be comfortable having an abortion...I mean I don't want get some one pregnant and the have her destroy it while I get to have say...But it seems like most girls are extremely pro-choice...it just bugs me...not that I want to have sex with every girl I go out with...or plan of having kids but 1) Every girl I date...somewhere in the back of my mind I weight the possibility she could become my wife...and even if I had sex before marriage and got a girl pregnant...I wouldn't be happy with the timing but I would not b okay with an abortion.

Updates:
Ok, I think I should not have used the words "Pro-choice" or "Pro-life", I really meant I would want to be with somone who is PERSONALLY opposed to having an abortion...even though I'm pro-life I realize that its just politics not personal

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Seeing as I'm 21 and completely against abortion, I'm sure there must be some other girls out there who feel the same way as I do about it.

    In my opinion the best thing to do is to make your views on such issues clear early in a relationship because it's really important that both you and your future wife have the same values. Even if you get through the dating stage of a relationship without conflicting views of abortion being a problem...as in you don't get her pregnant before you're married - there's always the possibility that in the future if you marry her, she gets pregnant at a time she feels is inconvenient, you may have no say in whether your child lives or dies.

    Always best to make sure your views on such issues are the same.

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    • Thanks..ill keep that in mind

What Girls Said 8

  • Stand on your convictions and get to know any girl you date. I was in a rebound relationship when I was 24 (already graduated college and so had he) that we both had different views on abortion...meaning he would want one and I was convicted that if I got preg I would not be able to have an abortion (my best friend had one and she is still not the same at age 35). Well, 6 mos in while I was on the pill I got preg and he abondoned our daughter for her first 7 yrs. of life (he's an officer in the Army National Guard so when the war started I found him, he got lost again and then I met a PI who found him). It has been one of the most life changing experiences in my life, she is now 10 years old and is not the most confident little girl, all because her dad was a jerk and she knows the bond that she misses may never come to be. My point is it is HARD to make any choice in that situation and many women would not be strong enough to be in my shoes...nor would they want to be, so do not judge those who have a pro choice opinion but let the women you date know when you get to the next level how you feel and that this is a deal breaker. Keep safe and protect yourself from this, everyone please do, because it is never pretty.

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    • I'm glad you kept ur little girl, I'm sorry that her father walked out on you guys..for the record..i would never be able to do that..ever...Im talking about if I was in the picture....if I wlake dout on my pregnanct gf..i would consider my fault to have force her into that situation.

    • Oh, I'm not saying that you would leave, I am saying the situation of pregnancy outside of marriage is very sticky. Be careful who you are involved with sexually and be sure the commitment is there, I made it too easy for him to walk away on us and could kick myself but wanted to share my perspective because it was such a hard lesson to learn. Life is enough of a roller-coaster ride without complicating it when you can avoid the complications. Be open about what you want!!

    • Right point taken...I don't plan of having intercourse with anyone I wouldn't be willing to raise a child with..even if it would be difficult or unexpected

  • Pro-choice, does not mean pro-death. Get to know the girl. Just because she supports another woman's right to choose does not mean that she would make the decision for herself. I believe that when you're involved in a sexual relationship, that you should discuss your course of action if pregnancy were to occur. Being pro-life or pro choice is not different than choosing a political party or a favorite sports team. It's a personality trait. and you shouldn't dismiss a girl before you get to know her based on assumptions.

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    • Right I actually morso meant somone that was personally against abortion

  • I know a lot of girls who are totally pro-life. I think there are circumstances to consider. Like, could you marry a girl who believes in abortion solely for rape victims? Or just for mothers who would die in childbirth without saving the child? Those are the only two really circumstantial situations where I feel things get really iffy... I think there are just a lot of considerations.

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    • Yes I believe in situation of rape, I think it should b a thoughful decision, but I think the option might be necessary to abortion...and yes mother life I also think it acceptable....Im talking about people who do it for convenience...theres always adoption even if you don't wana raise it....and yes mayb e adoptive children aren't set up for a successful life...but its better than killing them.and who knows, I kno adopted kids who are in great families

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    • If you understand those situations, as rare as they are, I think you could find a wonderful, anti-abortion girl. I know there are a lot out there.

    • Thanks!

  • If you're not going to have sex with her then does it really matter? Personally I wouldn't date a guy who thought that I shouldn't have the right to control my own body.

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    • Its not that I don't respect a womans right to her body...I don't think anyone has the right to destroy an unborn child not matter where it exists...

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    • And you can't stop the pro-choice movement from doing the same thing. It's not murder because it's not alive yet! That's what you don't get, it's not alive, I know you think it is but since right now some has to have a birth certificate to be alive (which a fetus doesn't) it's not murder. It's pretty much the same as me killing a teddy bear. My kids won't be dead because they won't be born and in order to die you have to be born

    • Ok, you have to ignore biology to actually blevie that a fetus after 12 weeks or in the third trimester are is a "teddy bear". So tell me is this a "teddy bear"? http://www.americanpregnancy.org/images/lib/fetaldev6.jpg or this?

      http://candidchatter.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/8-week-unborn-baby.jpg

      A birth certificate doesn't make you human.

  • i know plenty of guys and girls that are pro-life, actually I would say 90% of the people I meet are. ironically enough quite a high percentage of them also are/were teenaged mothers/fathers.

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  • i'm pro-life for personal reasons and all my friends are pro-life so let me tell you there are a lot of girls who are extremely against abortion

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    • Thats good to kno...I'm not even strictly religous or nething...its jsut tha ti consider it killing a child

  • do you think a relationship can work if one of you is pro-choice and one is pro life

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  • i think it could be easier if you live in a conservative area, small town, or the bible belt

    i wouldn't have an abortion but I am not pro life. I think other women should be able to have the choice of what to do with their body and whether they carry a child or not. I wouldn't feel comfortable basically killing *my* child but that's just me. I would probably have an abortion of I got raped or there would be something wrong with the child...

    i think its good to be with someone who has similar values to u, but just because someone does believe in abortion doesn't mean they would abort ur child while ur married

    just get to know the girl beyond a surface level and really get to know what she is about and u'll know

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    • Right I wouldn't refuse to marry somone because their pro-choice...i really meant that I would want somone who is personally against abortion

What Guys Said 1

  • 'I just kinda would never want to have a relationship (especially sexual) with someone who would be comfortable having an abortion'

    Many women whom are pro choice would not have an abortion themselves they simply support the decision of other women to get one. You're weeding out more women than you need to be in the first place.

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    • Right I shouldnt have said pro-choice.....i meant like girls that are personally opposed to abortion

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    • I'm sure that was a nice rant Wildfire, however I wasn't addressing you, but rather the QA and I have no desire to hear you rant on about a hot topic simply because your panties are in a twist over a differing opinion.

    • Wildfire...many people bleive its a person..at a certian poitn it develops all bodily organs...and feels pain...also, yes ill never be pregnant..but you will never be a fetus again..youve already be born..and you don't know waht its its like to be a fetus being aborted by gruesome methods liek bruning or bone crushing suction devices....unfortunately fetuses don't have a voice..so the pro-lifers feel we have to be

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