Is it hard to find pro-life girls to date?

[Anonymous]

OK first let me say that I do NOT want an abortion debate. I am pro-life...(or "anti-choice" if you wish to use that terminology, although its kinda not accurate in my opinion) Anyways...I just kinda would never want to have a relationship (especially sexual) with someone who would be comfortable having an abortion...I mean I don't want get some one pregnant and the have her destroy it while I get to have say...But it seems like most girls are extremely pro-choice...it just bugs me...not that I want to have sex with every girl I go out with...or plan of having kids but 1) Every girl I date...somewhere in the back of my mind I weight the possibility she could become my wife...and even if I had sex before marriage and got a girl pregnant...I wouldn't be happy with the timing but I would not b okay with an abortion.

Updates

+1 y

Ok, I think I should not have used the words "Pro-choice" or "Pro-life", I really meant I would want to be with somone who is PERSONALLY opposed to having an abortion...even though I'm pro-life I realize that its just politics not personal

[llcsk8r]

Stand on your convictions and get to know any girl you date. I was in a rebound relationship when I was 24 (already graduated college and so had he) that we both had different views on abortion...meaning he would want one and I was convicted that if I got preg I would not be able to have an abortion (my best friend had one and she is still not the same at age 35). Well, 6 mos in while I was on the pill I got preg and he abondoned our daughter for her first 7 yrs. of life (he's an officer in the Army National Guard so when the war started I found him, he got lost again and then I met a PI who found him). It has been one of the most life changing experiences in my life, she is now 10 years old and is not the most confident little girl, all because her dad was a jerk and she knows the bond that she misses may never come to be. My point is it is HARD to make any choice in that situation and many women would not be strong enough to be in my shoes...nor would they want to be, so do not judge those who have a pro choice opinion but let the women you date know when you get to the next level how you feel and that this is a deal breaker. Keep safe and protect yourself from this, everyone please do, because it is never pretty.

[Asker]

I'm glad you kept ur little girl, I'm sorry that her father walked out on you guys..for the record..i would never be able to do that..ever...Im talking about if I was in the picture....if I wlake dout on my pregnanct gf..i would consider my fault to have force her into that situation.

[llcsk8r]

Oh, I'm not saying that you would leave, I am saying the situation of pregnancy outside of marriage is very sticky. Be careful who you are involved with sexually and be sure the commitment is there, I made it too easy for him to walk away on us and could kick myself but wanted to share my perspective because it was such a hard lesson to learn. Life is enough of a roller-coaster ride without complicating it when you can avoid the complications. Be open about what you want!!

[Asker]

Right point taken...I don't plan of having intercourse with anyone I wouldn't be willing to raise a child with..even if it would be difficult or unexpected

[Anonymous]

Seeing as I'm 21 and completely against abortion, I'm sure there must be some other girls out there who feel the same way as I do about it.

In my opinion the best thing to do is to make your views on such issues clear early in a relationship because it's really important that both you and your future wife have the same values. Even if you get through the dating stage of a relationship without conflicting views of abortion being a problem...as in you don't get her pregnant before you're married - there's always the possibility that in the future if you marry her, she gets pregnant at a time she feels is inconvenient, you may have no say in whether your child lives or dies.

Always best to make sure your views on such issues are the same.

[Asker]

Thanks..ill keep that in mind

[Anonymous]

i think it could be easier if you live in a conservative area, small town, or the bible belt

i wouldn't have an abortion but I am not pro life. I think other women should be able to have the choice of what to do with their body and whether they carry a child or not. I wouldn't feel comfortable basically killing *my* child but that's just me. I would probably have an abortion of I got raped or there would be something wrong with the child...

i think its good to be with someone who has similar values to u, but just because someone does believe in abortion doesn't mean they would abort ur child while ur married

just get to know the girl beyond a surface level and really get to know what she is about and u'll know

[Asker]

Right I wouldn't refuse to marry somone because their pro-choice...i really meant that I would want somone who is personally against abortion

[jtj25m]

'I just kinda would never want to have a relationship (especially sexual) with someone who would be comfortable having an abortion'

Many women whom are pro choice would not have an abortion themselves they simply support the decision of other women to get one. You're weeding out more women than you need to be in the first place.

[Asker]

Right I shouldnt have said pro-choice.....i meant like girls that are personally opposed to abortion

[jtj25m]

Ah, it may just be where I live, it's rather conservative, but there are many women here of the kind you're looking for. I'm sure it varies, but there are definitely many women whom are against abortion.

[Asker]

Im sure there are but it seems like the younger generations are a lot more accepting of abortion

[jtj25m]

Unfortunately, I'd have to agree. It's sickening to me how it is used as a form of birth control by those who don't take proper precaution in the first place. Just another reason not to go for such a girl. The whole feminist movement doesn't help either, fighting for the right of a woman to kill someone just because that person resides inside their body. Don't get me wrong I don't go around to abortion clinics shouting bloody murder, but kill a pregnant lady you're charged for two murders.

[Asker]

Exactly....those laws are hypoctritial....it either is a life or it isnt....I mena life can not be defined by the will of the mother...it has to be objective

[jtj25m]

Indeed QA

[wildfire5288]

Abortion isn't for those who weren't educated on protection. I was educated about protection and know how to do so and I truly believe that you have to be pretty stupid to get pregnant these days but a woman has the right to control her own body. A fetus isn't a person, if it was they'd call it a person and not a fetus. You think those babies on 16 and pregnant are going to have any sort of good life? They're gonna be dumb trailer just like their parents who if they were smart, would've

[wildfire5288]

Gotten an abortion. You guys have no consequences to sex but you're the ones who want it all the time. You don't have to think about what you're going to do if you get pregnant, you can knock a girl up and walk away. Until you can seriously understand what exactly being pregnant means for you and your child you can't say that abortion should be illegal or immoral because it's a situation you won't ever have to deal with. You're entitled to your own opinion but you can't really pass judgement

[wildfire5288]

On girls who choose to abort their pregnancies because they're doing what's in the best interest for themselves and their child. A bunch of men have no right telling women what they can and can't do with their bodies and they certainly don't have the right to tell them they can chose to abort a pregnancy if they so choose. This is something you'll never have to deal with and you'll never be in the place to judge those who feel it's the best option

[jtj25m]

I'm sure that was a nice rant Wildfire, however I wasn't addressing you, but rather the QA and I have no desire to hear you rant on about a hot topic simply because your panties are in a twist over a differing opinion.

[Asker]

Wildfire...many people bleive its a person..at a certian poitn it develops all bodily organs...and feels pain...also, yes ill never be pregnant..but you will never be a fetus again..youve already be born..and you don't know waht its its like to be a fetus being aborted by gruesome methods liek bruning or bone crushing suction devices....unfortunately fetuses don't have a voice..so the pro-lifers feel we have to be

[kalg8]

Pro-choice, does not mean pro-death. Get to know the girl. Just because she supports another woman's right to choose does not mean that she would make the decision for herself. I believe that when you're involved in a sexual relationship, that you should discuss your course of action if pregnancy were to occur. Being pro-life or pro choice is not different than choosing a political party or a favorite sports team. It's a personality trait. and you shouldn't dismiss a girl before you get to know her based on assumptions.

[Asker]

Right I actually morso meant somone that was personally against abortion

[wildfire5288]

If you're not going to have sex with her then does it really matter? Personally I wouldn't date a guy who thought that I shouldn't have the right to control my own body.

[Asker]

Its not that I don't respect a womans right to her body...I don't think anyone has the right to destroy an unborn child not matter where it exists...

[wildfire5288]

At the point where abortion is legal it's pretty much the same as brushing off some dead skin. A clump of cells is not a child, it's a clump of cells. By saying you don't want to date someone who's pro-choice you're pretty much saying you don't want to date someone who believes that they have the right to control their own body. You have the right to control your body so your girlfriend should have the same right. That and since you can't have kids you really shouldn't have a say

[Asker]

Well where I live even thri trimester abortions are legal, and I again...i think a fetus in most cases is a human being and deserves the right to live. The fact that it exists inside the mothers body doesn't give her the right to kill it in my opinion.

[Asker]

Ok, well ya know what..every fetus was onceived by amn so don't tell me that men should have s say in teh debate....its about unborn children....and btw...most women in the US are pro-life anyway....well depends on the source...but it is atl east somwhere around 50/50.

[Asker]

Sorry I meant *should not

[wildfire5288]

And how many of those women are actually still able to have kids? How many of them are so old that it doesn't even matter to them anymore because they won't have to deal with it? If you're not gonna sleep with a girl it shouldn't be an issue. As far as I'm concerned until it's outside of me it's a part of me, I can give away a kidney and I can get rid of an unborn child that I'm carrying, not you. It can't survive outside of me therefore it's not alive

[Travesty]

"The fact that it exists inside the mothers body doesn't give her the right to kill it"

Yes it does.

[wildfire5288]

Some girls out there are pro-choice and wouldn't have an abortion, I'm not one of them. By saying you don't even want to date a girl that believes that she should at least have the option to control her own body you just sound like an idiot. Your body is the one thing you have that's yours and you're saying no girl you date should believe that she has the right to control that

[Asker]

Wow, convincing arguement travesty...i don't know if I can answer that

[Asker]

Yes like I said on teh other guys comemnt, I didn't necessarily mean "pro-choice" I really meant like somone who persoanlyl would never consider abortion acceptable for themselves

[Asker]

Btw you should check an fetall timeline...are you reall nieve enough to say that a fetus magically becomes a baby when it leaves the womb? I know of a woman who had her baby cut out of ehr by another pyscho woman who wanted to steal her chid...the child lived...it was capable of exisitng on its own depsite being in the womb...aslo "fetuses" can feel pain after only 12 weeks..some argue even as early as 8.

[wildfire5288]

OK I'm pretty sure you posted another anonymous question along the same lines yesterday and my answer is still the same...I DO NOT CARE!!! I don't care if the fetus feels pain at 12, 8, 6, or 1 week if I get pregnant I will have an abortion. Girls who are different aren't hard to find, but I'm guessing your head is so far up your own ass that you can't find them or they want nothing to do with you. Why don't you stop masturbating, every time you do it's an unborn child wasted

[wildfire5288]

Nothing I'm saying is being said out of innocence or stupidity. You're a guy, you can get a girl pregnant and walk away. You don't have to carry the child, you don't have to give up your body, all you have to do is hump and come, that's it. You can't force your views on people who feel differently than you do, especially if you will never be able to put yourself in the shoes of someone who has to deal with something that you'll never have to

[Asker]

Ya kno is aid I ddint want a debate...and btw if you think no guy has ever felt heartbroken over the fact that his girlfriend aborted his child ur the one with your head in an unpleasant place...and saying tha tmen aren't impacted by abortion is wrong....dont make this into a feminist issue..this is an issue of humanism..if you don't care that teh fetus feels pain..thats your opinion.. but I enver tired to force my views on anyone...btw expelling semen is not like an abortions...thats just stupid

[Asker]

And yes ill never get preganat but you'll never be a fetus again...and your mother choose ot ahve you..you don't have to be subjected to being killed in the womb from an abortion...and let me tell u...some of the methods are horrific...chemical burning...bone-cracking suctions....if you can talteast admit some abortions are wrong you must have a seered conscience

[Travesty]

"Wow, convincing arguement travesty"

Yeah, that's how I feel about your stupid arguments. Welcome to my world.

[wildfire5288]

Third trimester abortions are wrong, I think they should only be done in the first trimester, but I can have another baby, I'm no short supply of eggs here. Men don't stick around, babies do. I'm not trying to make this a feminist rant, I don't even like feminists, but you guys get so judgemental over girls for so many things about how we live our lives and for 99% of them I'll keep quiet, but not this one. No one has the right to tell me what I can and can't do with anything in my body

[wildfire5288]

A fetus has no feelings, no emotions, it's not a person. I don't care when it can or can't feel anything, I'm it and me a favor by aborting it. if I felt I could have and raise a child properly I'd have it, but if for any reason I don't feel that way I have the right to abort it and it won't take me 8 months to come to that decision, it'll take about 8 seconds

[wildfire5288]

If you're so concerned about human rights why don't you help some that are already alive and suffering and don't worry about the ones who haven't been born yet. There's a billion people out there without food, clean water, or a place to live...what are you doing about that? There's sick kids in your own country...what are you doing for them? Worry about people who right now, today, are alive outside of their mother, that should be your first concern, not what I choose to do with my body

[Travesty]

"if I felt I could have and raise a child properly I'd have it, but if for any reason I don't feel that way I have the right to abort it and it won't take me 8 months to come to that decision, it'll take about 8 seconds"

I propose a toast in your honor.

Thank christ for logical people like you. So many of societies ill's are caused by parents who are unprepared to raise children, or just don't care, raising kids terribly. If abortion was more acceptable, we would all be better off.

[Asker]

Yes, and I stand up for thsoe people just as much, belive me, but those people were at least allowed to be born...and actually a fetus can feel emotions latger on....its mostly the latter ones I have a problem with..but its not wrong for me to want someone who shares my views...

[Asker]

Hey travesty..are you saying kids growing up in difficlut circumstances would rather have been aborted? Wouldn't they just commit suicide if that was the case?

[Travesty]

Rather? Probably not. Should have? Maybe. It's situational. But if you give me a situation of a 17 year old pregnant girl with no financial or family support, then yes, that person should have an abortion instead of most likely ruining 2 to who-knows-how-many lives.

[Asker]

Fyi many women regret abortion it cna ruin lives too..not to mention it kills one always...adoption is always an option...and lawyas better than killing the child...btw who are you to say who "should" not be born?

[Travesty]

"btw who are you to say who "should" not be born?"

A taxpayer who has to pay for all the BS that delinquent people who were raised by totally unprepared or irresponsible parents cause.(That's halfway serious.)

"not to mention it kills one always...adoption is always an option...and lawyas better than killing the child..."

I don't consider adoption always better, because I don't consider abortion to be killing a child, because it's not. The foster care system in this country is bad at best.

[wildfire5288]

And who are you to say that women shouldn't have the option to have an abortion? I have a friend who had an abortion and she doesn't regret and she's doing just fine now, there's no way she would've been a half decent mother, 7 or 8 years from now, maybe, but 4 years ago had she had the kid it would've been f*cked, and she knew it. It's an act of mercy. And some people don't want other people raising their kids. And I definitely don't want a kid to potentially wind up in foster care

[wildfire5288]

I think your opinions are complete BS, especially since your probably basing them off a few Fox news polls and something you learned in science class. The bottom line is you don't even think a woman should have the right to get an abortion should she want to. If I got an abortion how would that affect you? It wouldn't, but you still think that I shouldn't have the right to get one if I want to. And who's lives are ruined? Abortion helps people, it doesn't hurt anyone

[wildfire5288]

People shouldn't bring children into the world if they can't take care of them. Those girls on 16 and pregnant that kept their kids are stupid. What kind of life are those kids going to have? They're gonna be f*cked up and everyone knows it, I mean come on, look at their parents! They're all cute babies, really they are, but if those girls had just gotten an abortion they wouldn't be on TV crying about how their lives are ruined and how being a mother is so hard because they weren't ready

[Asker]

You jsut need ton undrstand nthat I nbleive a fetus is a human being...period..if you disagree fine but don't accuse me of suppressing rights just fior the sake of doing. If a fetus is a human life...then destroying it is homicide...period. And you have 2 conflciitng rights...and for the mother her consequence is pregnanacy...andthe child its life or death...i sympathize with the child more.So yes I don't bleive in the right to get an abortion nor do I belive anyone has the "right" or "choice to..

[Asker]

Murder, kill, assault, rape, steal...Just because something is a "choice" doesn't mean its ethical or should be legal.

[wildfire5288]

If it was you who actually had to do with it you'd feel different. But since obviously you'll never understand what it even feels like to know that you're capable of getting pregnant you'll never know how frustrating and unfair it is to know that there are people out there who feel that you don't have the right to say what goes on with your own body, therefore you'll never get it and you'll never understand. Read all the tests, studies, and polls you want you'll never get it

[Asker]

"If it was you who actually had to do with it you'd feel different"

If it was YOU in the womb and your mother wanted to have you sucked out while your bones cracked or have you burned with saline....maybe you might feel differently....and btw theere are pelnty of women that are pro-life and they can get pregnant and they still don't believe in abortion "rights"...just because you have a utereus doesn't mean you must be pro-choice.

[wildfire5288]

Bones cracking, in the first trimester there are no bones. Get over yourself and get off your high horse, you can blah blah blah all you want and I'm still gonna think your a dumbass because you are. You're never gonna win the pro-choice/life debate with anyone and you're never going to convince me that abortion is wrong because it's not. If it's inside me I get to decide what to do with it and I'll be damned if anyone tries to tell me what I can and can't do with my own body

[Asker]

The main problem is you don't see it as a child at any stage..im assuming...i would hope you at least agree that abortion should be more restircted than it is..and now I can't tell you waht to do but me and many around the coutnry (more americans are identifying themsleves as pro-life, and less as pro-choice) are working to end abortion and vote for pro-life politicans...and new laws are being passed to put restrictions on abortion...I have a right to be politically active and I am

[wildfire5288]

If they made abortion illegal I would get pregnant and get an abortion just as a, "f*ck you," to everyone. I don't tell you what to do with your body, don't tell me what to do with mine because it's none of your business and you have no right regulating it

[Asker]

Im not trying to control anyones body but killing children is not acceptable jsut beacuse it exists in the womb...I thinks its awful you would have an abortion just to make some statment..i always here pro-choice people go ona botu how "women don't make these choices lightly"..well I guess ur proof that's not always the case

[wildfire5288]

I decided a long time ago, pretty much when I first heard of abortion, that I wouldn't bring a child in to the world if I couldn't take care of it and that no one could tell me what I could and couldn't do with my own body, whether or not there was a "child" inside it. Everything in body is mine and I'll be damned if someone thinks they can tell me what I can and can't take out of it. If I don't believe I can take care of a child it's getting aborted, end of story

[Asker]

So you can't take care of it so no1 can? ...i guess adoption is out of the question for you...ask any adopted kid if there life is soo bad thaat they wish they were aborted..i don't think you'll get too many yes's....bottom line I'm pro-life because I care about unbron children who have no voice....beleive as you wish but I have a right to the same..and so does the pro-life majority of America...

[wildfire5288]

Adoption works for some people but not for me. I don't want someone else raising my kids. I don't care what all of america wants, my personal opinions and decisions don't affect all of america so no one in america should be telling me to live my life if it doesn't affect them. I don't care if the majority of people think I'm morally wrong, at the end of the day I'm the one who has to deal with me and live with my choices and I could lie knowing I had an abortion and not feel bad

[Asker]

"I don't want someone else raising my kids." youd rather them be dead?

Also, some people think its ok to murder should we just let them live with their choices and not arrest them? If abortion is murder it should be illegal..and many think it is and so we want the laws changed, that's it, we disagree You're free to kill your child...(rite now anyway)..but you can't stop the pro-life movemnt from engaging in activism and politics to change the law.

[wildfire5288]

And you can't stop the pro-choice movement from doing the same thing. It's not murder because it's not alive yet! That's what you don't get, it's not alive, I know you think it is but since right now some has to have a birth certificate to be alive (which a fetus doesn't) it's not murder. It's pretty much the same as me killing a teddy bear. My kids won't be dead because they won't be born and in order to die you have to be born

[Asker]

Ok, you have to ignore biology to actually blevie that a fetus after 12 weeks or in the third trimester are is a "teddy bear". So tell me is this a "teddy bear"? https://www.americanpregnancy.org/images/lib/fetaldev6.jpg or this?

https://candidchatter.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/8-week-unborn-baby.jpg

A birth certificate doesn't make you human.

[LenaMania]

I know a lot of girls who are totally pro-life. I think there are circumstances to consider. Like, could you marry a girl who believes in abortion solely for rape victims? Or just for mothers who would die in childbirth without saving the child? Those are the only two really circumstantial situations where I feel things get really iffy... I think there are just a lot of considerations.

[Asker]

Yes I believe in situation of rape, I think it should b a thoughful decision, but I think the option might be necessary to abortion...and yes mother life I also think it acceptable....Im talking about people who do it for convenience...theres always adoption even if you don't wana raise it....and yes mayb e adoptive children aren't set up for a successful life...but its better than killing them.and who knows, I kno adopted kids who are in great families

[Asker]

Also, on the rape situation, rapes very rarely occur in conception, when a womans body is in distress during an attack,he body does not recieve semen easily as in consenual sex. but yes I just want a relatiosnhip with a girl that's like "o hey, I think you got me preganat...u kno its nto a good time for me...ill just get it taken care of...its my body so I don't care how you feel..." that's what I want to avoid

[LenaMania]

If you understand those situations, as rare as they are, I think you could find a wonderful, anti-abortion girl. I know there are a lot out there.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[PrincessCandy17]

i'm pro-life for personal reasons and all my friends are pro-life so let me tell you there are a lot of girls who are extremely against abortion

[Asker]

Thats good to kno...I'm not even strictly religous or nething...its jsut tha ti consider it killing a child

[xxivashxiii]

i know plenty of guys and girls that are pro-life, actually I would say 90% of the people I meet are. ironically enough quite a high percentage of them also are/were teenaged mothers/fathers.

[MayStubbs]

do you think a relationship can work if one of you is pro-choice and one is pro life