Forever alone? How old were you when you met your life-long partner?

My boyfriend of 3 years and I just broke up a few days ago and I am 23 years old. I know I'm young, but we had these goals of moving in together getting married having children. It was going to be great, but we couldn't stop fighting. My friends and family have told me that the inability to stop fighting no matter how hard we tried as a pretty clear sign that we weren't a good match, and the fighting would only worsen if we got more serious.
Now, I am just afraid to play this waiting game. I have had my experiences with dating apps and I don't even want to go there again. Ironically, that is how I met my last boyfriend, but, when you use a dating app I don't like that that's the first impression you can jump to is either okay I'm either going to date or mess around with this person. I'd like to meet someone and get to know them possibly as a friend first, realize I like them, then try dating them. But I feel like if I don't put myself on a dating app or somehow make it known to the public that "hey! Im single again!" no one is ever going to look at me as a possible dating candidate.
I feel like I am pretty, and I know I have good things going for me in terms of school and work and other stuff, but in the field I work in I'm mostly surrounded by older people or people slightly older than me that are already married. In school, I only have 1 year left and I've spent the entire time being taken, so I don't expect to date anyone in my class because I'm not going to make an announcement or anything that I am single now. and as for running into someone anywhere else, I just do not know how or when it would happen. I know that life isn't a movie and the chances of me going to a coffee shop and meeting "the one" are like slim to none, so I just want to know in your experiences, how did it happen, when did it happen, or do some of you even feel like you really did let "the one" go because of uncertainty in the relationship?


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What Guys Said 17

  • I thought I met them at 21 and was so determined to try and make things work that I can look back on it all and say that I stayed too long (they didn't invest nearly as much effort in the relationship and things deteriorated).

    I found myself single again at 33 and after two years of dating met someone even more incredible than I thought was possible.

    It is never too late. I am sorry this happened and it will take some time to process it all but you'll know when the time is right to get back out there to meet someone new.

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  • I don't think you should even be worried about getting back out there a few days after a breakup. Focus on yourself for a while because you're probably vulnerable. I'm 28 and single so it isn't a big deal being single at your age.

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  • I was 17 when I met my first wife, who was a girlfriend until I was 21. We were married 5 years til we got divorced, then I spent 5 years as a batchelor. Married again for 39 years. So
    married 1st time age 21-26, my high-school sweetheart
    divorced and single 26-31
    married 2nd time age 31-69, a co-worker and I had 2 kids
    My advice - don't get pissed off at each other at the same time. And never insist on "my way or the highway".

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  • i was 29. so yeah don't worrry

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  • "no one is ever going to look at me as a possible dating candidate. "

    You're right. They won't. The whole "boys" looking for "girlfriends" thing dies down after 25. Most guys that want commitment are taken and the ones who do start cozying up are more often than not looking for sex. Actually I have noticed that there is a reversal after 25... as I have aged a growing number of women have started indirectly asking me out

    Your only real option is online dating, sorry

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  • I was 22. We were together for 5 1/2 years and had two kids. She got out of the marriage under the "till death do us part" clause.

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  • Met at 19, started dating at 20, married at 25, got a kid at 30.

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  • I have never been in a relationship and I am slowly coming to the conclusion that I never will. I have only encountered negative answers from women I felt a connection with and only a few women have ever liked me but i felt nothing but a friendship with them. Comparing the two it is about 200 to 1. I have fallen hard for many different women and have hurt myself because of it. I am not blaming anyone. Life is about choices but in the end I feel that no one i ever choose is going to choose me.

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  • didn't meet yet

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  • Don't go out with someone because they think you are pretty. Go out with them because the find you fascinating. That if in the morning you aged horrifically, that they would still stay with you.

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  • I don't think there is a life-long partner nowadays... there are only partners for your different stages of life.

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  • I'm with you. I'm 24 and still single

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  • Haven't met mine yet.

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  • Forever alone? At 23? Wow...

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  • I was 20

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  • My right hand has been part of me since I was born

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  • forever a loan. thats my problem.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Well I hope everything goes well and have a future together and to me he's the one. And I'm 24
    But my manager finally found the one for him and he's 30 now. He met her when he was 27 and got married at 30.
    He was married before to his high-school sweetheart but he felt pressured to get married and was never happy and they had a divorced. This time he knows he has found the one because he planned the proposal, asked her parents for her hand in marriage. He didn't rush to find someone new before he met the girl he married. He even didn't go on any dates for a year.
    So you won't be forever alone.

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  • Well, if you want to find someone, whether it's at school or work or anywhere else you are going to have to be willing to be seen as single. Nothing wrong with that. You just got out of a long reltionship a few days ago and i imagine it must be really hard for you right now, but you really shouldn't worry. When you make up your mind that you are ready you'll find someone.

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  • didn't meet yet

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  • Your 23, u have a lot to live for. Don't rush through life, but live it.

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  • ı dont have

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