WTF!!! What can I do to compete on bias dating apps like tinder and bumble?

Okay I wasn't going to do this but fuck it!

I made a bumble account yesterday morning and a friend of mine made one last night, I asked her how many matches she has gotten so far - she's had 20 and I've had 6 (2 of them have expired now and one I erased).

but I was wondering what I could do differently or should I just abandon online dating altogether because of how fucked up it is?

Anyway here's 3 pics of me and 2 of her

WTF!!! What can I do to compete on bias dating apps like tinder and bumble?



what should I do?

  • Change your style
    Vote A
  • Put more effort into your photos
    Vote B
  • Fuck online dating, it's not worth it
    Vote C
  • Just accept that it's going to suck no matter what
    Vote D
  • Other
    Vote E
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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What Girls Said 10

  • If you're trying to express your dismay because you think you're more attractive (which is what showing photos of both of you imply), that's mean, and also there are various factors that effect whether someone responds to your profile on a dating site or app.

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    • 7d

      I am implying that & I know it's mean... you know there really isn't a point to me having this question posted, because it's not going to change anything but monument a moment in time where my sexual/love frustrations got the better of me.

      I'm going to erase this question but before I do what would you suggest I do/change (besides my attitude)?

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    • 7d

      I've done numerous social experiments using online dating sites or apps and there have been many others done, the success rate alone of actually getting a date with someone is no higher than asking strangers in real-life to go out with you, and there's way easier ways for people to deceive you online.

    • 7d

      I was having more fun at nightclubs to be honest... I'll give it a couple more days and than I'll probably erase them (tinder, bumble).

  • You shouldn't be comparing yourself to your friend because well firstly she is a woman. Women always get approached more so than a male would. Also the way you are comparing yourself to her especially on this site, it's like you're sort of making fun of her, like as if to say "look at her! why is she getting more attention then me? I'm much better than her..." if that's the case I already can see maybe why you don't get approached or second dates, maybe you're too serious or too pretentious or maybe you come across too full on?

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    • 7d

      What do you think I should do?

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    • 7d

      Maybe it just comes off in photos or your description on the site about yourself. Maybe you are too forward and pushy with what you want & it scares women off

    • 7d

      I had a quote from a cartoon show Rick and Morty as my entire bio... I don't see how girls could be reading that far ahead into things when it comes to a dating site... but that would explain a lot in the sense that they are so selective.

  • You're actually very attractive, but my preferences go WAY against the grain. Personality does play a part in shaping your look, and I prefer deep intellectual guys. Smart people tend to be lazy people, it's just a thing. So they wear the "don't give a fuck" look, which also comes off as immature and apathetic. That's why you cannot go based off of looks alone! I see nothing here about your interests or personality, so I really can't help you much.

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  • I went with C. For the record... you seem like a pretty decent looking guy. If you decided to stick with it I'd probably recommend better taken pictures but all in all... still fk online dating. I spent 2010 or 2011 to 2016 as a female on those sites and it really is just stupid in a million different ways no matter which side you're on there. People are judging you off of... essentially... a resume... rather than actual personality and chemistry to even GET to the first date.

    I recommend looking into the site Meetup or similar groups on FB for like minded people to hang out with in general. My boyfriend and I were members of our local geek meetup... not really to date... just to hang out and have fun with other geeks in general... and without ever meaning to we ended up getting closer and going out.

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  • you should smile

    also, women will generally get more hits than men. that's just the nature of online dating. and isn't bumble where the woman must initiate first? maybe she has more matches because she's contacting more dudes?

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    • 7d

      Girls have to start conversations, matches work the same as tinder.

  • 6 matches isn't bad.

    The last picture of yourself you have a weird expression lol maybe don't use that one. Use photos that make you seem interesting and/or fun. The second one is great and the first one is good because it shows what you look like. Maybe add one with you out having fun.

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  • You have that serial killer look in your eyes. Fix that and you'll do better.

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    • 7d

      That look is my depression from loneliness and lack of luck with woman... can't look happy when you're dying inside from lack love/sex.

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    • 6d

      But you have to maintain focus when cutting up bodies and disposing of them otherwise you'll get sloppy and leave traces of DNA... then I won't be able to have butt slaves in the basement anymore.

    • 6d

      Wow! You are really good at driving home why you don't do well with online dating!

  • Your pics aren't as suitable for online dating as hers. She has a pic of her in some big ass place, looking interesting and like a traveler. She also has a face close up, which is nice.

    Your first pic is good, your second looks like you're one of those singer songwriters that everyone claims to be nowadays, and snap pics should be off limits on all social media apart from snapchat.

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  • You're totally hot and she is average so I don't know what the problem is. She looks down to earth and easy to talk to while you look super intense so that is perhaps why.

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    • 6d

      I guess I'll take some better pictures

    • 6d

      Personally I hate being told to smile but maybe that's what will make the difference?

  • Online dating is always going to be like that. Women get more matches and more attention because men are desperate for sex and women are not.

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    • 7d

      I'm not desperate for sex... I'm desperate for a real connection

    • 7d

      It doesn't matter what you are desperate for. What matters is what most men are desperate for. Men in general are a lot more desperate than women, usually for sex, and that's why there are more men on dating sites and women get more attention/matches. Women aren't as desperate so they are picky and waiting for the perfect guy and reject most men - making them more desperate (which makes them spam all women on dating sites = almost all women on dating sites get a lot more attention than most men).

What Guys Said 7

  • Its not the sites that are the problem. Its the users. Me and my gal friend both make accounts on okcupid, plenty of fish and tinder and where as she got tons of matches and messages i got few matches and i messaged about 4-8 people a day to get one response and of the responses i would get about 1/15 leading to extended talking or a date. In our society men are expected to make the first move and women seem to be able to just pick who they like most and trash the rest. This went of for a while for me until i found my SO on tinder which is where i spent the least time. So it comes down to luck really. If you find the one it will be worth it.

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    • 7d

      I just want hookups (I've given up on the concept of relationships) but I can't accomplish that if I'm not even getting matches...

    • 7d

      With girls I'm actually sexually attracted to, instead of the ones I end up matching with on rare occasions.

  • You're a very good looking guy, the pictures aren't bad, I don't know how many you're allowed in Bumble. Maybe one of you smiling? The guitar one is meh - the whole idea (playing outside) is great but I don't know if it's the clothes or the angle or something that just doesn't work.

    She's getting lots of hits because she ha a vagina. That's just how these things work.

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  • I don't know bro I think that black and white one of yours like rather snazzy! Easy pull all the ladies! But honestly mate its not worth the time for internet dating. If you want to date then approach girls in person!

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  • There is no bias. Girls are going to more attention. It's the same here. I don't really see what the problem is..

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  • 1. Accept that is never going to change and that's the way it is.
    2. Put in the effort and work with what you're got.

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    • 7d

      Is there anything I can do to make it work for me or is that it?

  • There's one simple reason why women get more matches than men on these sites: A lot of men are only looking for sex or a one-night stand. They register, send messages to hundreds of women and if one or two bite they get lucky. If they knew they wouldn't be able to sleep with her, she'd get less matches than you for sure.

    Look at the bright side: At least with the matches you get, you can be fairly certain that the women interested in you aren't just seeing you as a sex object for one night but really find you attractive.

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  • Don't try too much. And don't be such a bum.

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    • 7d

      Bum in which way?

    • 7d

      like standing with a guitar next to some rock, it screams joblessness.

    • 7d

      Wtf are my photos so see through? ... am I that easy to read? Fuck, I'm going to have to work on my ability to lie or something.

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