How to reply to texts from your girlfriend/boyfriend with no substance in it?

OK! I have a long-distance boyfriend and that's why I'm saying texts and mails because that is all we have now. We share love and respect. He's very nice and loving. We're in a serious relationship.

But I don't know when he gets busy or something he texts me with msgs like "How's everything? I hope everything is Ok" or "How's your day..." Ugghh!..No substance in it at all.

It makes me feel as if it a duty text. As if he doesn't like to do it but he does, if you guys understand me. That's pretty annoying because even if I'm busy I text nicely but short. So, it isn't an excuse. Anyway, sometimes I get really annoyed that I don't like to reply but in the end I do saying anything. And this may go for a long time.

What would you reply saying if you received such text? or won't you reply at all? I;m annoyed and I need an answer. Thanks :)

Updates:
I always lead on with new texts and new ideas. So, don't tell me to do. Like yesterday after one of his duty texts I said "I miss you :)" He replied "I do more"! Oh, really! busy that you can't say even the word miss you? So, tell me what to reply?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey :) Thanks for the message.

    Your situation is quite common. Most ,if not all guys, CANNOT multi-task. We can only concentrate on one thing at a time. That's just in our nature. We like to concentrate on the task at hand. I'm not saying that you're not important to him when he's busy, it just sounds like he's trying to be polite when he actually is in the middle of something. The fact that girls can send thoughtful and meaningful messages when they're busy is one reason why we love them. They can do things we cannot.

    And to be honest, guys are more capable of showing how they feel rather than saying how they feel. Our actions speak louder than our words sometimes. I wouldn't worry to much about it. Think of it this way : Isn't it better to read a few short words in a text than to not hear from him at all?

    :)

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    • You nailed it simple and right to the point! :) Yeah, I heard that from a guy, that multi-tasking isn't the strongest gift they have. They like to focus with one thing at a time. So, by him sending a message even when busy is very nice of him. But, by me responding in same silly way isn't right because you love that we can send thoughtful meanigful msgs. Thanks :)))

    • You could reply to his message with a :) and that would make his day. Do you know what excites a guy the most when it comes to girls sending us messages? Seeing their name come up when we receive a message. The message doesn't matter, it's all about who sent it to us :)

    • Oh, really! :))) I just sent him a message now. I wasn't the one who started to send a message for a long time because of resentment. But after what you said, now I uderstand. and I sent him a very nice good morning message so he can see it when he wakes up :) Thanks alot! :))

What Guys Said 7

  • First of all I am sorry for mixing up my answer for your question to another answer, I don't type them in the comment box, I type them in notepad to simultaneously edit and save in between, take breaks and continue again.

    Having said that, the issue here is that where your boyfriend is sparing some time to text you, trying to make sure that you guys are in touch and you don't feel neglected, you feel his messages are bland and lacking depth. You obviously DO realize that his intention is pure and also that what you demand is nothing over the top either, hence there should be no guilt between you guys.

    So before this grows into an annoying habit, be straight forward about it. But before that, understand that he is a busy man, and his precise and seemingly tasteless messages do not reflect his far deeper love for you. Yes, they HAVE become more of a routine duty for him, which I admit he must also realize. And to make him realize this, you MUST directly tell him.

    He is your boyfriend and he will understand. It is very natural for guys to behave this way. I did too until my girl told me about it. It is a fact that girls take phone calls and messages far more seriously then guys do.

    You don't have to be mean or anything, just text him something like 'I understand you are busy, so instead of forcibly sending chunks of love, I want you to say it all in one piece on weekly basis, or whenever you can do so'. Or something like that.

    To him, he is being very romantic by being in touch. So he needs to know if he is doing it the wrong way. So instead of secretly being annoyed by this habit, let him know. You are not demanding something frivolous, it is your right. So be confident, and guilty free to be direct and vocal about it.

    Good luck!

    And sorry for the confusing error.

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    • Thanks :) You really understand my situation. Yeah, I shouldn't misinterpret his texts and make it a big deal. But I didn't think it was romantic thing to send duty texts like that. Interesting!

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    • should I start texting today saying smth nice? what? or wait until he does and reply nicely?

    • Thats a GREAT idea. Say something nice, and romantic about how you feel about him. It will also 'teach' him how to write to you. If you write meaningful messages, he will follow the suite and reply the same way. Make it a point that he should reply you only when he is free, so it hints you want something heartfelt and not quick. Weave a few questions in too like 'Do you feel the same way?' He will be forced to answer and write the way you want, without being confronted firmly as if it annoyed u.

  • I think the dude is probably doing his best to reply. A lot of times text convos drag out way to long, and its hard to know when to end them. So those generic replies are bound to pop up. Its not a big deal in reality, as long as he keeps replying or sending msg, then everything is fine by him.

    If it really bothers you that much then express it to him, don't approach it like you're mad but do it as something that would make you happier. People can't read minds, its better to tell somebody how you feel or the behavior will continue.

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    • I did that. I told him I would have been happier if you replied to the nice message I sent you today. in a nice way. he said sorry I'm busy but don't be upset. it's right I should tell him not just expect him to read my mind. Thanks :)

  • I would reply with what they asked me about. You both just have different approaches. I think you're just reading too much into something that shouldn't be.

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    • When all you have is texts and mails. I can't be the one who constantly think of nice things and new ideas to do. Why make me feel it's a duty that you sent me a msg? Do you think it is?

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    • Thanks Romanian for giving me honest, blunt answers in the face :) I value that as I'm starting to understand how guys think. As you said we girls misinterpret things guys do, but the difference is I'm willing to learn. Thanks again :)

    • Not a problem.

  • I think it's bad of you to get annoyed with him trying to contact you. That's a good way to push him away and make him contact less. By asking you how you are doing, he's trying to break into the conversation with you. It's sort of hard to always have a conversation topic on hand for when he texts or calls you. So by trying to get you to respond with how you're doing, hopefully you'll provide him with something to talk about, or start talking about what you would like to talk about. Don't make him feel like he's not only the one who needs to initiate conversations, but that he's responsible for maintaining them too. This will make him feel like the responsibility is completely on him. If you get upset over everything that he does, then he'll start to feel like he can't win at all.

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    • You're right about that for sure. but I'm the one who always come up with ideas to talk of. so, I was waiting for him to start anything. he's busy and obviously he's focused. so, it's OK. But you're right about I shouldn't resent that. I should be happy that he's maintaining the contact. Thanks :)

  • Are you seriously complaining that your boyfriend is asking you how you're doing? Are you f***ing kidding me? Can you be any more petty? Unless you can prove to me without a doubt that he's doing it just because and not because he's truly interested I will say you need to lighten up. I do this with my wife as it's a good way to start a conversation. And you know what? She usually starts them the same way.

    One of my favorite Gandhi quotes:

    "The moment there is suspicion about a person's motives, everything he does becomes tainted."

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  • lol I hate when I send long ass messages and get "K" or "Good" back...not an answer to the question but being short it just messed up it usually seems

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    • What should I reply saying then?

    • ask them a question its impossible for them to give a one word answer too

  • when in doubt, send a naughty message, that will get his attention..

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What Girls Said 3

  • you know guys are not that expressive. you're lucky because at least he has time to text/mail you. like you said you guys are in a long distance relationship. :) don't think that its like a duty for him to text you and that you should reply. why would he text/mail you if he didn't care right? girls tend to be sensitive to things like this but believe me stop thinking this way because this is the most common mistake of some girls they tend to be clingy they react too much about some things. that's why it ends to no good. I'm a girl also but I'm not like what I'm talking about. so sis, you just have to hold on. and try not to get annoyed because there's nothing to get annoyed about. if he texts you like that why don't you try to like reply with a new topic to get you guys texting/mailing more right?:)

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    • I did what your saying today. I sent him a very nice good morning message and he never replied. He used to reply saying nice things. He can't be busy it's Christmas time. I'm really upset. I'm not clingy by the way but I like you to care about me just as I'm doing. What should I do now? I won't do anything really but if he sent tomorrow another one saying "how's everything?" what should I say? & by the way I always add the new ideas to go on with a convo :)

    • hmmm.. hahaha kinda sounded like my ex boyfriend. ugh.. don't text him wait for his text. when he texts you ask him why he didn't reply to you when he texted you because it was Christmas so there's no reason for him to reply. just don't nag him. you know. just ask him. then we don't know if he will tell the truth or not lol but try to ya know try to act like you're cool with it something like that. :) because guys as far as I know they don't like gfs who are naggers they like cool ones

  • First of all, your boyfriend isn't texting you out of duty Sally. Haha, don't be silly. He LOVES you. And he enjoys hearing from you, even though the conversation might seem stale and mundane at times, it's hard to keep things fun, flirty, animated and with a "spark" forever, especially in a long-distance relationship. He's texting you because he's anxious to hear from you, even though it may not seem that way, his reaching out to you and communicating with what you and I perceive as "fluff" isn't a bad thing. BUT if his texts are repeatedly boring, don't reply. Just wait for him to call you or you can call him to talk, talk.

    Also, keep in mind it's not really possible to have in-depth conversations with a 160 character limit. So don't sweat the small stuff.

    link

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    • Didn't really know that guys suck at sending messages! :D

    • Lol. They don't suck. They just aren't great communicators via text.

    • GRrrrr..that's all I have :(

  • just try to lead with more romantic stuff.

    say I miss you, I love you after each of your text and hopefully he'll pick up.

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    • I said I miss you :) he replied saying "I do more" can't even write miss you!

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