The texting game - do guys focus on this as much as girls do?

It seems as if everyone texts more than they talk on the phone nowadays... which is absolutely fine (I actually prefer texting). However, when it comes to dating... do guys actually focus on who texts who first? I know that when I'm dating someone and I'm trying to see if it'll go anywhere, I always want him to text me first. When he doesn't text for a few days, I'm always afraid of losing contact so I'll text. It's an ongoing battle! Sometimes I feel like if I text him as much as I want to that it comes off as annoying. I hate the texting "game" in the dating world! Do guys see texting as this way or do they honestly just not care?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've learned in my experience, if you're a guy don't text much. I made the mistake last summer of texting someone I really liked too much and she interpreted the texts so out of hand it wasn't even funny. I actually became creepy, and once you become creepy there is no going back in a girl's eyes. I tried explaining myself, but that only made things worse. So now I hardly ever initiate texts. It's just not worth it. If the girl is into me she will text first. I'm all for trading off on who's first though. The maximum texts I will send a new girl in one day is about 5. Anymore looks like you have no life. The exception of course is if you've been dating awhile. Then I think this rule isn't so important.

    The girl I like now actually takes about an hour up to 3 hours before she responds. I know she probably does that for a reason. I don't think it's because she doesn't like me because her responses come in like clockwork. I also don't immediately respond, as it makes little sense. So yeah, texting can be very bad.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I know from my perspective, I see it as a game, but only because that is how I think girls see it. Honestly, I think it is ridiculous. If two people like each other, it shouldn't matter who texts who first, or how often (as long as it isn't incessant). That being said, I feel like most girls view it as a game, and that I constantly have to walk the line between texting too much and not enough.

    That being said, I tend to look at things differently than a lot of guys, so I'm sure a lot of guys aren't consciously thinking about it. I don't think they will think you are being annoying as long as you aren't texting all day. Personally, I like it when a girl initiates a text conversation with me from time to time. I'll usually do it, because I feel like most girls expect the guy to, but it is a nice change when the girl will take some initiative.

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    • It's so nice to see that some guys don't find it annoying. I mean, with my friends I could text all day every day but I understand that not everybody wants to or can. I absolutely hate the whole texting game. If I want to talk to somebody, I'm going to text them and that's it. I'm always afraid that the guy is going to think I'm annoying if I text them.

  • I feel that guys focus on it more because us guys worry about appearing clingy, needy, or desperate more than you girls do, that or it's just because when a guy is clingy, needy, or desperate, it will turn a girl off way more than a clingy, needy, desperate girl will turn off a guy

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  • Don't care who does it first. I just don't want the phone going off when I'm busy or asleep. That means no texts which are pointless. No "Whatcha doin?" texts at 2am.

    I won't send any text unless I have something to say. It's cheaper to call.

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  • Please don't wait for the guy to text first/initiate conversations.. Really frustrating and gives mixed signals. It's annoying enough that us guys are expected to initiate everything by our old fashioned stupid society expecations.

    If you like the guy, initiate conversations every now and then. It's only fair, and shows you're not into stupid mind games.

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  • Too much texting can get annoying. In the beginning of a relationship, I'm much more tolerant of lots of texts because you are finding out about someone. When you know each other and your phone is lighting up with text all day then that gets to be a bit much.

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  • I see texting as a means of communicating, albeit a poor one. If I have something to communicate, I'll text. That's all I see it as.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Depends on the guy as much as the girl... I think guys who enjoy a girls company but isn't worried about the situation will text whenever they have something to say or when they want to hang out.

    I have a male friend who texts / calls when he needs to because he knows he will see them in the near future. Dating wise... he does it when he wants to hang out... if he is the one that does most of the initiating he is aware but he doesn't mind. If the girl doesn't try as hard because she's losing interest hell feel bad about it but at the same time he believes if that's their choice then fine.

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  • lol..I date a man that says he will text me later...and I leave it at that..refuse to text him..then he gets mad because I didn't...its a very confusing game we play :S...although its' kind of funny...So to him I would say it matters...The rest of the guys ..I can't really explain.

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  • Guys generally suck at texting.

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