Found out boyfriend is on match.com

My boyfriend and I have been exclusive for 2 1/2 months. We get along great and he has been very sweet to me. He refers to me as his girlfriend and tell me how happy he is in the relationship. With that being said...one day I needed on his personal computer and he gave me his password, but warned me that before he and I started dating that he was on match.com, but he only went out with one girl, which was a flop and he doesn't get on anymore. What he doesn't know is that after that I investigated a bit I realized he has been on recently. He's added women to his maybes list, deleted profiles he didn't want to see, and has had what looks like a fairly recent online interaction. When I confronted him, he got angry that I snooped through his stuff and called me untrusting and insecure. He says that any interaction he had was months ago. Not only did I see that, but he had his email opened and all messages from July are deleted and the notices from match.com say that he has had interaction with more people than he admitted to me. More recent ones. He said he would get off of the site, but it's been over a week and he's still on. He does not know I can see this stuff. If I tell him that, than the issue becomes I'm a crazy snoop, and not the issue that he is active on a dating site, when he is suppose to be only active with me...I'm not sure how to handle this.

Updates:
Also to add...we live an hour apart, and since we've been together, I've been at his place most weekends. He hasn't been going out without me...that I know of...but still, MATCH.COM?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If someone is in a relationship, I don't see any reason to be on a dating site. IMO, that is pretty disrespectful to the other person. I know if I had a girlfriend who did something like that, I would pretty much leave. It would be like you've pretty much just shown me I can't trust you and that we are obviously not on the same page.

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    • I agree. I'm very hurt by this. He tells me all the time how happy he is and he isn't going anywhere. It's just so confusing

What Guys Said 5

  • Dump him. You're wasting your time. He says he's going to delete his account but still has it. No trust there. Be done with him.

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  • When someone gets defensive like that, they know they're busted but they want to make it seem like it's your fault. He was being semi-honest when he said he still had the account, but it seems like he was expecting you to overlook everything else.

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    • He told me he didn't want to always defend himself. That he isn't interacting with anyone and he would delete his account. I'm waiting...

  • Kick him to the curb... He is a liar, and he is playing you like a musical instrument.

    Facebook is one thing, MATCH.COM is another. You can use both the same I guess, but when you're on match.com it is for one reason, and one reason only... and that is to hook up. Better finding out now at 2 months than later at 2 years! Good luck!

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    • What if he gets off the site? Do I give him the benefit of the doubt...or dump him?

    • I don't think you can really trust him anymore? Can you? You have a lot of thinking to do. And he has a lot proof to bring to the table. If you are going to give him a chance, you should make him sweat a little for your trust. I wouldn't take him back just like that. He is a player, they don't change. If that's what you want for a man because that bad boy image is appealing to you. get ready to 'not care much if he is with other women, just as long as he comes home to you...'

  • If he is not exclusive then I don't think you need to be :/

    either dump him or start dating other guys as well.

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  • He is a stupid guy to start with! To give you his password and then get angry when you find out what he has been up to? WTF! Dump him and move on!

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What Girls Said 2

  • i would say if you can get into his account delete it

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  • usually when someone expresses anger to a situation they were accused of that means they are really guilty. He was probably loooking for more "options". kick him out

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    • I keep hoping I've read something wrong or am mistaken on my findings. He says he will delete account, but he is stalling

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