Should I message the guy who gave me my first kiss even though he is my big brother's best friend?

I'm 18 and this past Thursday night I had my first kiss! It was actually with my childhood crush...I've know him since I was in middle school. But, only because he is my big brother's best friend. He's 22 and he's a Marine. Hid name is Stephen. He came into town to visit family and friends before he deploys again. My big brother came into town too to come visit him, they're absolute best buds. I hung out with them Thursday night and we ended up going back to Stephen's brother's house. My brother and Stephen's brother both went to sleep eventually...so Stephen and I decided to do the same. The last place available, of course, was a bedroom that just had blankets and pillows on the floor. He took my hand, led me down the hallway and then turned to me before we laid down and said, "I promise to be respectful and not to do anything weird." I told him I wasn't worried. We turned the light off, laid down and after a moment or two, I told him I wasn't even tired. He said, "yea?" and then put his arm around me. Then he kissed me and we started making out. I didn't want to go any further than making out and I made that clear but we kissed for a while and then we eventually just cuddled and he fell asleep. I didn't sleep at all the entire night because my mind was all over the place. In the morning, my brother came in to wake us up...so I never had the chance to say anything to him about it. We left in my brothers car, he dropped me off where I had left my car the night before and I have not spoken to or seen Stephen since. My question is...should I try talking to him first? What should I say if I do?

I don't think he realizes that he was my first kiss. And, I'm starting to think that he kissed me out of loneliness and he was iust trying to get what he can before he deploys...and I was just at his disposal. Any opinions on that theory?

Any advise as to what I should do and say would be great. I really like him...but I'm afraid he might be holding back because I'm his best friend's little sister.

Help me out please!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First, congrats on your first kiss. That's very exciting. (Over 20 years later, I still remember mine, lol. That sense of heat and fireworks that starts at the roots of your hair all the way down to your toes? Mmm.)

    Glad you had the good sense to set a boundary. Guys don't know how to do that too well once they're turned on and thinking about you "that way," lol.

    Sigh. Typical of most girls, you're spoiling the image that's going to bang around in your heart whenever any guy in the future kisses you. Don't do it, girl!

    If you used to call/text him before, then go ahead and contact him. If not, DROP IT. I never spoke to my first kiss either, but I'll remember him till the day I die. (Dramatic, I know, lol.)

    A guy who makes out with you really should contact you first if he's a gentleman at all. Since he's you're brother's bestie, you're likely to see him again. If/when you see him, just smile and keep your eyes on his face. See what his reaction is. DON'T act like an overenthusiastic puppy and ask him a thousand questions or anything. It's a turn-off. If you really want a reaction out of him, smile like you have a secret and keep passing right in front of him -- looking radiant and smelling feminine -- and his eyes will sort of follow you if he's interested. He'll either try to get your attention or get you alone when he can. That's how you'll know what he's thinking.

    Good luck!

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    • Thanks for the advice! I'm not one to be desperate, hence me only now having my first kiss lol but I just wanted opinions from others about the situation. I haven't tried talking to him because I have figured it was a bad idea. I just hope that he does show more interest later!

    • With your first kiss, it's not desperation that guides you, but that tingly excitement that makes you blush when you see the kid again. They call it "puppy love" -- and look how jumpy and happy dogs get when they're around the people they love, wagging their tails and pawing... (Don't do that either, lol.) It's normal to be a little jittery. Just breathe and keep yourself busy with other stuff. You'll be fine. :-)

What Guys Said 1

  • That was a bad move by him. Don't call him cause it's gonna be weird for your bro.

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    • I can see where you're coming from...however, my brother is a very open-minded, good guy. If his best friend and I were to date, I think he could handle it. And honestly, I would love for that to happen...but I also completely understand why Stephen wouldn't want to do that because of my being best buds with my brother. I definitely see how uncomfortable that could be. But, I most definitely am ecstatic that it happened because I like him very much and I'm samn happy he was my first kiss.

    • It's against the bro code to date your friends sister. If you two were to break up, they would stop being friends. It's just a bad situation, I don't recommend it.

What Girls Said 1

  • Frustrating, isn't it? For some reason, almost all of my brother's friends are damn hot and I've had crushes on at least three or four of them. Even though I know my brother always trys (and succeeds) to keep me away from them because he doesn't want his family and friends to mingle. Thinks I'm his little princess that needs to be saved from careless boys. To be fair, most of them are womanisers.
    Now that I've complained to you about my life, here's some advice: Don't call him. You said he's a marine, so it's pretty obvious he was desperate for some... action when he came back home, and you were available. If he was truly into you, I'm pretty sure he would've handled it differently (talk to you, for example...). And he'd call. I'm not saying it's impossible he likes you, but I wouldn't bet on it.

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