How can you tell if a guy is actually into you? Do guys act interested even when they're not?

[1curiouscat]

I am completely confused and about to give up on a guy who could be Mr.Perfect, or at least a really fun & cool friend. I'm recently divorced and just started looking around on an online dating website, and met someone . I was not interested at first in this guy. For maybe a few weeks, I'm not sure, he had been checking out my profile, sent a few messages and I didn't respond to any. Then I was about to close my account and figured, he might be a nice guy? Just be spontaneous, you never know. So I returned an email, and we started chatting. He was very sweet from the start, very complimentary. Said I was very pretty or cute. He wasn't like some guys who pretty much want naked pictures or something. We had one date, he was really nervous but we hit it off and he was just so sweet & really funny. I thought, oh, I like him. We were both super stoked, but then the 2nd time we got together was a social gathering, and I brought a friend. Everything went awesome, he was really wanting me to stay the night, but I had my friend. We dropped him at his house where the gathering continued and I got the feeling something was off. I initially said we were leaving, but decided we should stay, by the time we walked back, he was on the phone with who I assumed was one of his kids, his daughter, and he said "be right over sweetie." They live nearby. Since he was off to see his kids, I decided OK, we are leaving, and I'm sure I was acting different, so was he. Then once I got home he kept texting me, saying he liked me. Then said all 3 of us should hang out. And more texts hinting to a 3 way? I was offended. He said he didn't understand. I called him and he said he thought that's what I wanted because of some pics I showed him, and a few other reasons. he stated he was really into me, and blah blah blah. My friend later told me, Oops, she may have made a comment or joke about all 3 of us. So I gave the benefit of the doubt and had agreed to see him the next day & go to lunch. He asked if he could please take me on a real date, etc. But the next day came and he never called, I got a text that night after I had sent a text just saying, I guess you skipped lunch, no worries. I had also left a vm saying I thought he had gotten a bad impression of me. The following day he texted me late at night and asked if we could hang the next day. I agreed, but the next day came and he texted at night saying he had to work all day was tired but wanted to see me the next day. So 3 days now of asking to see me tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes. I'm feeling over it. If he really was busy why not say that? Or apologize? It's weird that he keeps texting at all? Totally confused...

[TheMasculinist]

So he has a job and is now battling being a single father. Don't give him a hard time about it if he isn't up your butt texting you at all hours. He has work and probably doesn't wanna come on too strong. Once a day is good enough in many mens minds. Regarding the threeway. If YOUR girl friend mentioned it, and I was on a date with you...and YOU had brought her along on our date...Id assume you were wanting a threeway too. and...fact is...there isn't a man alive that doesn't have that fantasy...that doesn't make him a pervert...that means you two sent out major wrong signals...A. Don't bring along your girl friends on a date...thats just freakin weird. You ever see a GUY bring another GUY along on a date with his girlfriend? LOL! Let alone one who has no social filter enough to not mention sexual promiscuity like a threeway? Id say relax a bit...relax...a lot...quit keeping such close tabs on exactly when he does and doesn't text and just chill, because it makes you appear needy or controlling. reeeelax. If he wants to be around you he will make the time. that DOESNT mean his every lunch and free moment are YOURS though.

[1curiouscat]

It wasn't a date when I brought my friend, it was an outing on his boat w 10 of his friends. I don't want his every free moment but if he wants to see me, just say so, when he has free time. Not constantly saying "can we hang tomorrow?" it's hard to explain. He's a really nice guy, but maybe I am too used to being in a relationship. I'm definitely not going to not make other plans when he says he wants to see me, because pretty much 85% of the time he flakes & says maybe tomorrow

[bobair]

If he's into you he'll make it happen, it does sound like he's interested.

Be patient. 3 days isn't the same as 3 weeks.

Stay open, stay fun, and be responsive when he finally find free time over these holidays to see you again!

I hope this works out for ya,

~ Robby

[1curiouscat]

Thanks, I will hope for the best. I do know what a guys ultimate fantasy is, and if he thought my friend & I were sending him an invitation? What do I expect? He probably feels embarrased now? My friend has gotten upset at her boyfriend because he asked her if they could bring me into the mix. I did absolutely nothing to encourage that! She's told me of other comments he's made. I don't see her being the type to start a problem or sabotage me, but you never really know a person. whatever happens, happens!

[bobair]

That's the perfect attitude! Have a great holiday!

[Rania14]

There are many ways you can attack this problem . First of all , it seems like he is interest , I mean if he wasn't he would have bailed on you the first time and never texted you back the next day and the day before. As you said earlier , maybe he does have a child or children that keep him busy or not able to come through the meetings. You can call him and ask for an explanation and if says he is busy with work , maybe he actually is. Maybe you can offer taking lunch to his office or something. This will prove a couple points;whether he is actually truthful and will give him a chance to admire your kind offer. There is no better way than being honest and telling him that you're confused . In a diplomatic way though ! Best of luck ! No worries , he sounds interested :)

[TheEmperorofMankind]

Didn't read. But men can make a woman think he likes her especially if he his drunk. Not to mention most women are morons and unaware of the fact that men almost always like two girls at the same time in case one tries to hurt him he loves the other one more.

[martyfellow]

The guy is into 3 ways and swinging like many guys you meet on cyberdating sites. Drop him, this is just the tip of a big ugly iceberg...probably why he's divorced!

The reason he cancels and does't contactt is because he's, no dout, corresponding in a similar vein with many other women on dating sites.