So I met someone through friends, asked for her number and we've gone out alone for the past 5 weeks. It's usually been dinner followed by hours of just talking. We get along great, share a lot of interests, etc. Throughout the time she's said that she's not sure what she wants, she doesn't know if she wants a relationship right now (she didn't say with me or in general), but I get the feeling that she DOES want one because she keeps talking about the subject. She's also been very flirty. When we go out she touches me all the time, says she feels very comfortable with me, stuff like that. We talk online almost every day and she's asked whether I'm a good kisser or not.
So this last time we went out, got some food, then she took me to a hill with a nice view and we just hugged for a couple hours and talked (strange I know). So I'm thinking, I've got all the right signs and should make the move right? I ask her if she's going to finally kiss me, and she says she can't decide...she says for her, kissing is as intimate as sex...so we're just there hugging for 20 min until we finally kiss. At this point, we get in my car, kiss some more, listen to music, cuddle a bit.
The next day, she IM's me telling me not to expect anything from her and that she's sure she's not ready for a relationship. I felt like my world was turned upside down in a day!
Anyways, she says I'm a great guy, and doesn't want me to feel like she's been leading me on...blah, blah..doesn't want it to get awkward, has always seen me as a friend (Even though one time while we were talking online before she said she liked me and that it was a hard thing for her to say).
So I'm wondering, why did she kiss me? Is she interested in a friends with benefits kind of thing? Does she have no interest at all? (would you kiss someone you have no interest in). She's not naive at all, she already knew that I liked her, so if she just wanted to be friends why would she put herself in situations like that? I was probably direct in telling her I liked her too soon, that could've turned her off also.
We still talk, but I kinda don't know where to go with this...she's a cool person, but can I really be friends with someone when that is always on the table...someone I have feelings for? I've never been in this kind of situation before.
Most Helpful Girl
I think she might just need more time because it doesn't seem like she knows what she wants. It sounds like you two are compatible but she just needs to get it together. It could be a number of things. Maybe her last relationship wasn't so good and is afraid of getting hurt again. And she just really doesn't want to rush anything. If you just cuddled for a long time and listened to music in your car then I don't think she wants a friend with benefits.
However at one point you should probably tell her your feelings because truth is usually the best. Because you can't plan on being with someone who will always do one thing then regret their choices later, especially if the choices she made are with you.1