The texting waiting game after first date, help me out here!

So I had a date with this gorgeous girl last Saturday. We started off great, I took her to this retro 50s diner. She loved the place when we got in. So we started talking and we were awkward at first, but we loosened up after a while. I wasn't being overly interested or came off too strong. I really like her allot. And I think she was having a great time with me because she was genuinely laughing. You know she was laughing with her eyes, and was really interested in me. So we had dinner, we both liked it, not a problem. So I asked her if she had plans later that night, she said "no, but I have to get back cause my mom wants me to get back early", mind you she's 18, and I'm 23. So alright..no prob. We left the place, gave each other a very nice hug, and she said I should text her. So we both did afterward. Saying how we both enjoyed it, made her laugh, said night to each other and all that. So the next evening I sent her this "How's your evening, would like some wine?".. and now I haven't had a reply from her yet. Don't tell me she's playing hard to get. I know you girls are always glued to your phone. There was some good chemistry going on you know. I seem like her type. I mean we were going off like we already knew each other for like ten years. I kept it cool, I was confident, she was relaxed in my presence and I saw a sparkle, we got these mouth fresheners afterward, and I kept throwing them out the little bowl, and she kept putting em back.. teasing I guess. What's the next step? This is second date potential I believe. She also couldn't really keep eye contact with me, so maybe she thinks I look good to her? I dunno.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are over analyzing this. First, you think she is gorgeous and you really like her, so that would have come across as much as you think you were looking pretty laid back. Then you asked her if she had plans later that night. Nothing about the question was a good idea.

    First dates can be all this and more and still amount to nothing. A lot of people can have fun with someone that they really don't see as relationship material. That is kind of a problem in the world of dating because we think a great first date equals a second date. It just does not.

    So, now, you followed up with a silly question instead of calling her and asking her out for a second date. Who knows, maybe she will get back to you, but if she does, cut all this silliness out and ask her out for a second date. I think it is great to tease and have fun on dates, but the guy needs to have an edge of seriousness in his interest in a girl or you won't get far.

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    • I asked her straight after if she wanted to go see a movie, come on, just some basic sh*t, I'm not gonna go skydiving with her on a first date. But clearly mom's favorite. I was pretty obvious in showing that I liked her more than a friend. I've dated many girls so I know what makes them tick.. Not saying I'm a douche. I'm pretty informed when it comes to female body language.

What Girls Said 6

  • she is 18. remember that. I know I am 22 now and when I was 18 I was totally different when it came to dating/ relationships etc. I was just so much more immature and played stupid little games. didn't really take people that seriously. I didn't know what I wanted a lot of time. and I liked attention from many people. so remember an 18 year old is an 18 year old. not saying you can't date her because she is too young but you will probably be constantly makig you question her motives because she probably doesn't know what they are. and if she is attractive she proably has a lot of guys after her. also I don't understnad what you mean by your message you sent to her. would like some wine? what is that meant to mean? its a bit weird..maybe she was confused what it meant...

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    • She seems to be very very mature for her age though. She's extremely attractive, but I feel I'm different to most guys, and she picked up on that I believe. About the text, see the first comment I replied too ;) Thanks for answering!

  • Why do you have hold back showing you like her? Why are guys so damn silly on this front? Just be cool, be nice to her, show her some attention and consideration - put her at ease and a little reassurance that you like her is all she needs. Don't hide it id you like her.

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  • i personally would like if the guy had gone to the effort of texting me first I hate it when people play hard to get because of stupid society / dateing rules. Why can you just text . it you both like each other . It horrible when someone keeps you hanging , unless their genuine reasons .

    I hate mind games and wish a lot more people could be straight up

    Anyway give it a few days and see

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  • If you want to hang out, say so. Also, do you know if she drinks? I know I didn't at 18 and if some older guy asked me to I would say no straight up. It sounds like you want to get her drunk and get in. She probably had that initial thought and could have been scared away. If you want to see her again ask her out on a second date. If she doesn't answer then she doesn't want to pursue it. It's better she denies you now instead of just being nice and saying yes.

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    • We're both European, so we're allowed to drink. That text was just so park a convo, trying to be random and hilarious.. lol, cause you can't drink together through text.. we're alright now, we're still texting , she's just a bad texter, and we talk about some pretty deep stuff, so yea she's still interested.

    • good. glad to hear that. just get her out soon!

  • if she wasn't holding your eyes she probably isn't that interested.

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  • How has it been since you sent that text? Yes she MAY be playing hard to get, but even if I was playing hard to get, if a guy that I was interested in getting to know better texted me after a date I text him back, either a few hours after or at most the nest day. Again it depends on how much time has lapsed since your text. So, the answer if either she obviously is playing hard to get or she isn't interested.

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    • We're cool now. We keep having convos over text, she's interested in what I have to say and she is interested in what I have to say. If she texts back, that means she is interested I guess. She's one of those girls who don't show their interest, but they actually are. I asked a friend of hers. I saw it in her eyes! She'll let me wait though, she doesn't want to appear to eager I guess.

    • yes I am the same way. I never initiate a text, I think it looks way desperate, and if the guy texts me then I know for a fact he is interested. She is just like me. At first the guy I'm dating didn't think I was interested because he was used to women blowing up his phone. He said the same thing you ju

    • Whoops, I put those sentences out wrong, well you know what I mean. Wait and see I guess. I don't want her to slip through my fingers though.

What Guys Said 1

  • Your first mistake was asking if she had any plans later that night. Don't ask vague, open ended questions dude about later while on the date man!

    Then, you became a follower by texting her like she told you too...a few hours after the date! bad bad.

    Then..you text her the next day to check in on her, and ask a silly question.

    Look, you seem like a good guy. But, you've let your high interest control you...making you say and do things that lower a womans interest in you. If this was your A game performance...you need to burn your playbook, and completely forget what you thought you knew about meeting and dating.

    She might have been quite interested in you at first...but after all the mistakes you mentioned...you've turned her off.

    NEVER EVER text a new girl.

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    • I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie. A follower? No man she genuinely said she liked me, and we were goofing around so.. I waited a full day to text her, not like when I got up or anything, and creep her out. I'm still playing it cool, I'm not showing my interest, I'm just talking to her like a normal person. We're still having deep convos over text, which most girls don't even bother trying.

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    • I'm not showing my interest as in trying to come off as wanting her. I'm showing my interest in her as a person, for the love of god, we're just talking about music over text, so what's the big deal? She enjoys it because of the way she responds so.

    • Hey...the little things matter man. I'm just trying to help you get this girl. It's up to you to put the work in to do it the right way. What girls like, and what makes girls have romantic love for you are 2 very different things.

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