I like a nice guy, but he so unassertive so I don't know how we can ever date?

I hate jerks, I've been hurt a lot. I've ignored nice guys and even had nice guys as friends. They would say that they wait for a girl to tell them if they like them. I was so shocked I was like really? He said yeah if she liked me then I would wait for her to let me know then take it from there.

I guess I made the assumption all guys are assertive and are hunters when it comes to dating girls. Recently I've met a guy who is so lovely, melts my heart how sweet and endearing it is. Usually I'm put off by nice guys, but he would be the guy any girl would love to marry. Caring, sweet, genuine, thoughtful, makes you feel like your the only girl in the room. An he's also good looking.

The guys who go after me the wasters and jerks who ask for my number. Never take me out and just want sex make me sick now. Can't believe I ever dated two jerks. I've certainly grown up and ii don't find bad boys thrilling just a waste of time and lots of pain.

This guy is also sensitive , what I say actually affects him and its pretty cute that he cares. I've never met a guy like him. I really want to date him. He smiles at me, teases me, laughs at me, asks me how I am all the time. He doesn't even look down my chest or look at boobs. Not saying he hasn't checked me out but I can tell he's about more then getting the booty. That's a quality guy to me.

I get called beautiful a lot, and get a lot of attention. I've smiled at this guy , spoke to him etc. I don't think he gets that I like him. I turn up at his work just so I can talk to him, but I think he reckons he don't have a chance. I'm quite shy, and he's not really shy but is not assertive so I don't know what to do. Should I just give him my number and give him the chance to take the lead. I don't want him to think I'm being the leader or not allowing him to pursue.


Most Helpful Guy

  • All you have control over is your own behaviour. It sounds like he probably isn't going to make a move, so either you show interest or move on.

    I have no problem approaching and asking out women, however, sometimes women would show interest in me and pursue me instead. It isn't such a bad thing, you just seem to be making excuses because you're shy.

    • Didn't mean to come across sexist I'm not at all like that. I meant that a didn't want to seem desperate by making a move but if you and others think its fine then that's great. Guess I got to overcome my shyness :)

    • Show All
    • It doesn't come across as desperate just asking a guy out, no more desperate than a man asking you out. Yeah just ask him to come out with you for a drink or whatever you wanna do, and if he says yes swap numbers. If he says no? It's no big deal.

    • Ok I just figured as a girl a guy may think she's easy that she didn't wait to be approached. Will try that


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What Guys Said 3

  • We live in the modern era, and more and more girls initiate relationships everyday. Guys are assertive and hunters as animals, but we're civilized people. Frankly it's a little sexist, expecting a guy to have to initiate is like expecting a girl to have to cook.

    If you like the guy, go up ask him out. Stop putting so much focus on whose taking the lead, honestly that kind of thinking is what has probably led you into the arms of jerks and manipulators.

    • Very true. Will ask him out. Absolutely. Tossers don't care for me and ask me out for sex, money or to control. So I get that

  • Yeah, most likely you're going to have to approach him. believe me, it's possible he thinks he's not good enough, or that he's not sure if you're interested. Just Give him your number!

    • He's good looking but does not act like a good looking guy like cocky etc. He's very sweet. He's more then good enough. I would say he's exactly what I've been missing. A genuine guy who isn't a creep. I will give him :)

  • This guy hasn't been with enough girls to know the signs. You have to make it really really obvious that you like him. Like, literally tell him in words.

    • So inexperienced? I understand that. It makes sense.

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    • I'm scared if he doesn't like me. Is it quite likely he does? :) I will. Its hard as he's always behind the counter working. So would handing my number allow him to see um interested?

What Girls Said 1

  • He told you he wants to know if the girl likes him first, and then he'll take it from there. So giving your number is a good first step and won't be too much. I don't know if he'll get the hint that you're into him, so maybe give him a card with your number and let him know he should call or text you some time to hang out. That way he knows he can ask you out without you literally telling him "ask me on a date now!"
    Good luck!

    • He didn't tell me that. Other nice guys say that about women. Waitin for girls to let them know. I will give him number

    • Just give him your number, it's not the biggest move so just go for it :)