My Battle with a Video Game Addiction

Step-1 Harmless toys for bored boys

I remember when I was 4 years old my mother bought me a Gameboy Color and a Legend of Zelda cartridge for it. That was my very first step into video games and possibly the worst parenting mistake of my mother's life. I stayed with Nintendo brand handheld consoles until I was about 6 or 7 when I got a Nintendo GameCube. My favourite game for it was Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker and about a year later my mom sold my Gamecube and bought me a PlayStation 2 and Crash Bandicoot and Spyro: Year of The Dragon. I played everything on PS2 from some game about monsters I can't remember to a roller coaster tycoon spin off.

Then when the PlayStation 3 came out my entire life changed. Maybe for the better maybe for the worse. I'm not too sure. Remember this was all back before online gaming even existed or at least was popular. So detaching yourself from a video game wasn't all that difficult.

Step-2 The magical world of online gaming

I remember my step-brother came to visit and he was just a prick. He always hogged my gaming console and whenever I wanted to play it he'd yell at his dad who'd then give me trouble. I hated this stupid kid. So I spent most of my summers outside as a child running around building forts and beating on other kids with sticks. One time he left our house (he didn't live with us) and I noticed something different about my PlayStation 3, it was connected to the Internet! I thought this was cool so I made myself a PSN account and then put in Uncharted 2 and played my first online match.

Step-3 Developing dependencies

There was no real addiction for me from video games until I moved towns with my family and stopped going to school. People think I stopped because I just wanted to play Video Games which couldn't be more wrong. I stopped because I was stressed out and I wasn't be treated well by other students or staff and the teachers started telling people to avoid me because I have bipolar disorder. So I stopped going. Later in life I'd go back and graduate but that's beside the point. It was then (About the release of Call of Duty: Black Ops 2) that I really started to get enveloped by the online world. I stopped showering, I stopped having relationships offline, I stopped leaving my room, basically my offline world was crumbling around me and I was too dense to notice.

Step-4 The saving Light and the Darkness that takes it all away

There was one point where I met a girl offline through a mental health program I was being forced to attend by my family. She was a incredibly sweet girl and I liked her very much. When we both got out we agreed to meet up. We did, hit it off, and fell in love. She was my first sex partner and I was hers. I didn't stop my gaming habits but I did put them down to spend time with her. I loved her. I really truly did.

Then about 4 months later I ended the relationship. I don't even really remember why at this point, but I remember the excuse I used to both myself and to her and it was incredibly stupid and I'm not going to share it here because of that. Of course she didn't understand why I was doing this and I still feel awful for how I left things. This was the point where I decided the world was too harsh and I'm never gonna be a part of it. I locked myself into an online world and I never wanted to come back out. This was just before Call of Duty: Ghosts (my personal favourite release) came out in stores.

Step-5 Getting better

After Call of Duty: Ghosts came out I started to get really good at First Person Shooters. To such a degree I used to play competitively. Then I started to get bored of Video Games in general so I started trying to mend things with this girl, I started making friends, I started trying to date again. I was getting better both on and offline. It was thrilling to see the way my family noticed it. I felt like some super heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Then everything was stripped and taken away from me almost in an instant by one game.

Step-6 Pess "Select" to reset level

The game Destiny by Bungie Studios and Activision Publishing came out. This game ruined everything I built. I bought the game and I started playing. I didn't stop playing until 9 months later. Wake up, Destiny, food, Destiny, sleep, repeat. It's not the games fault or the developers fault. It's just that this game was so great I couldn't put it down.

Everything I'd worked so hard to accomplish had just been thrown to the wind like it had never happened. My best friend (who was also a game addict) stopped talking to me because "I played too much Destiny" and not being sure how to respond I snapped at him about ill play what I want when I want to and nearly lost my best friend forever.

Step-7 A chance to load an old save file

A while later I got a message from the girl from before. This was like a year and a half after I stopped talking to her. She told me she was in trouble that she was in a relationship with an older guy and he wouldn't let her leave him even though she wanted to. I told her where to go and offered her my help and she told me she would talk to me when he went to bed. Over a month went by and she never said anything back. I finally just said "If you want me in your life reply with yes. If you don't and want me to piss off say no" I went to bed.

The next morning I woke up with a missed message from her that said "No" I was heartbroken. I still to this day don't know if she is even still alive. I still love and care for her now as much as I did then and sometimes I get curious and do some google searches to find out if she's been active on social media just so that I know she is ok. The last time I talked to her was the release of Devastation for Call of Duty: Ghosts (2013) and since I've been in many relationships. I was just hoping that resuming this one was possible but over the years I learned that for some profound reason she refuses to even talk to me. Why? I don't know. But she does.

Step-8 A new beginning

A while later I got a new girlfriend. She was great! I loved her and she loved me. She understood my struggles and pain and I understood hers. There was one problem though. I met her online and she lived over half the continent away. This relationship ended in heartbreak. But another soon followed. I met another girl online who lived close by. We met up and dated for a couple months. We fell in love and all was great.

But I had developed a fear of being happy so I ran from the relationship leaving her heart broken and confused and angry all at the same time. She lost her job because of it. She was so distracted and confused that she would lash out and not do her job properly. She had to move to a different province to live with her mother. I called her a week or so later and she told me all this and I felt awful for what I'd done. I had ruined this persons entire life and it was my gaming habits fault.

Step-9 Clearing life cache standby for reboot

I realized how much of an awful person I had turned into so I made a post on a bartering Facebook page and out all my gaming everything up there for free. I said "Whoever gets here first can have it" then I started the long journey to fixing my life. I got out and got a girlfriend and then started making friends. I ended a couple relationships because of my fear of happiness but I'm working through it now. I'm getting more active and losing weight and gaining muscle. For the first time in who knows how long I feel comfortable leaving my house in just a T-Shirt and Jeans. So now I'm here looking back at everything I've done and I needed to share. Because maybe somebody who reads this is going through the the same kind of stuff and this story will help them conquer it the same way I did. Maybe hearing my story will open others eyes to the truth of what they are doing to themselves and others.

Anyways guys, I hope you enjoyed the read and someone learned something. I look forward to making more of these more relatable topics then other political or hot button ones.

Cheers!

~Jarhead


1|4
7|7
ThatJarHead is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
Who are Editors?

Join the discussion

0/2500

Submit

What Girls Said 7

  • It's good that you healed but I'm going to be extremely annoyed by some people that will comment on this. Going straight to, "see video games are so bad for you everyone shouldn't play them." blah blah blah.

    0|2
    0|0
    • It is inevitable. I accept my fate.

    • I was thinking the same thing, actually. Video games are actually EXTREMELY useful and what some people don't seem to [want to] understand is that most people are who are addicted to video games are people who are either trying to escape their life like me OR they make them their life by accident. It's very real but people will say they 'melt your brain' when in reality, some of the brightest people I know are addicted to gaming.

    • @EllieLexis513 I know that a lot of really smart people get addicted to video games. There is some psychology that goes behind it but it's whatever.

  • I use games like the Tales of series and Final Fantasy to just turn my brain off from the real world. It requires me to use critical thinking skills a lot, but I like challenges and stories, something the real world doesn't give. But it's not an addiction.

    The only game I came close to having an addiction is a game called NexusTk. That's the only online game I ever played and the community at the time I started was huge. I'm convinced that if I was a an adult when this came out (I was 8 and it came out in 1998), I'd have like... no money to my name because it was $60 for 3 months to register so you can play beyond a certain level.

    2|1
    0|0
    • Pay to Play games are the worst. I like the Final Fantasy series too. Sephiroth is a god who you oughta worship.

  • Very nice mytake.
    I'm glad you're doing well. =)

    0|1
    0|0
  • I hope my little brother too give up on playing excessive video games, he too have video game addiction but he is not understanding that it is harmful.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don't think you understand what grammar is. You have to give him time. You can't force it. Don't be like my siblings who just tormented me about it instead of trying to help.

    • Show All
    • I just learned how to use it. :)
      It is my 5th language, it takes a long time for me to actually form a sentence without making much mistake.
      But oh well, why am I telling this to you Mr. Judge, think of me as a insignificant user and leave me be, cause your tone is getting on my nerves.

    • I'm not using a tone. It's text. It can't have a tone.

  • Weren't you engaged at some point? Did that fail as a result of your gaming problem?

    0|1
    0|0
    • My engagement failed because I made an attempt at my own life. I made an attempt at my own life because of my gaming problem. So in a way yes I guess it was my gaming problem.

    • Show All
    • That and the fact that you are posting anon makes me wonder how you know me.

    • I don't know you, but you are on the internet.

  • Inspirational. Thank you.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I think many many people share in this addiction. Glad things got better for you.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Far more people suffer from it and are accused of just being lazy then is rightfully fair.

What Guys Said 7

  • I've said it before and I'll say it again:

    99% of all cases of video game addiction involve ONLINE gaming. That is what created video game addiction, from "Evercrack" to the current multiplayer obsession. It's almost impossible to find legit addiction issues with single-player-only experiences, as I've seen and known for nearly three decades.

    1|3
    0|0
    • They usually involve online gaming yes. But a lot of people now are starting to get addicted to single player games with additions of mods and the more advanced things. It tends to be more of a god complex. I control the world here so why would I go outside kind of thing.

    • lol i remember seeing evercrack for the first time... i went into a store which hosted magic the gathering tourneys. the owner was cooped up in the corner w/ his computer playing everquest.

      only turning around to complain.

  • Glad to see you're doing better.

    0|1
    0|0
    • It hasn't been easy. But I'm pushing through bro :) Thanks for the support.

  • I use to play a lot in high school but now most games bore me out before I even finish em. Assassin's Creed Syndicate is just a chore to play.

    Overwatch is quite fun and so was Fire Emblem Conquest maybe my taste for games have changed as I got older.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Were you in the military?

    0|1
    0|0
    • I was never in the military no.

    • Show All
    • Well in reality it's a term to describe someone who is dense or "thick skulled". The reason it's a military term is because military grunts blindly follow orders making them "dense" the reason I chose it is because of satire. When people read a philosophical post or an intelligent one from me they think "Well that name doesn't make much sense"

  • i still play counterstrike 1.6

    0|1
    0|0
  • I can relate, I got completely obsessed with an MMO called Neocron the year after I finished university, so life was basically about playing it (and I wasn't very good at it) and working my dead end jobs. I moved in with my then-gf, and got a different job, which then ended (it was a seasonal contract and I wasn't one of those picked to be taken on permanently) which meant I ran out of money and had to move back home with my parents. Now I was living at home and spending hours every night playing Neocron, and working the occasional temp job. My girlfriend and I were essentially on a break since she'd had to move back home too and our respective families lived two hours apart.

    My parents were furious, and I finally resolved to get my shit together. I searched more vigorously than ever for a job, found one, was able to get my own place, and resume my relationship. When Neocron came out with an expansion pack that was in fact a quasi-sequel, and you basically NEEDED TO buy it (as well as pay your monthly subscription) so I checked out.

    0|1
    0|0
    • That's quite the story my man. Best of luck to you.

    • It was almost 15 years ago. I still like online games, but I never get consumed by them to the detriment of my real life any more.

      Your story is rough as hell too - falling back into the trap with Destiny, ouch. This is part of the reason I don't like PvP in gear-based games, because you spend so long trying to get the best possible loadout for your character. If you play for fun/as support/just to explore the world you don't need to have top level rare everything.

  • Tl;dr please say you go to vga classes like alcoholics 😂

    1|1
    0|0
    • No. No I don't. How about you just quit being lazy?

    • Because I have a li... Have somewhat of a life and don't feel like reading all of that. I don't particularly care about your videogame addiction, however, the nature of the take made me wonder if you ever considered or partook in a rehabilitation program of any sort

Loading...