Boyfriend in a huff with me for saying I was busy, please help

[3thompson____]

My boyfriend came back a day early from tennerife & gave me a call when he got home. He was fine on the phone although he never said that he'd missed me while he was away.

He said he wasn't sure when he'd be able to see me because he had to unpack, settle back in & see family, which was completely understandable.

My friend hannah was coming to mines for a girlie night in the day after he phoned, as she was going through a hard time & she recently had told me she was bi-sexual & had a crush on me. This didn't bother me in the slightest.

The girlie night was arranged for about a week .

The day that hannah was coming to my house I had a text from my boyfriend who apparently ' couldn't wait to see me', & he asked if I would go to his that night.

I told him that I was busy & that I was sorry, & asked when he was next free to see me.

He normally replies okay & gives me a different day to see him however instead he asked me what I was doing & who I was seeing. I told him about seeing hannah for a girlie night in & he flipped & put words into my mouth by saying ' I thought hannah freaks you out cause she fancyie you'. I said She didn't & that I was sorry that I couldn't get out of it .

He replied ' Ok.' without any kisses & from then on he has been in a huff with me. This has went on for about a week.

If he had only asked me the day before & I could have changed my plans with hannah.

We have been going out for a year & a half, but he has never acted like this.

please help me & give me advice on what to do or about what he might be thinking.

I don't think I've done anything wrong. :(

[TimB -1-2-3]

Well... You haven't done anything wrong... It's all in his mind, really...

And if he's never acted like this before, there must be something bothering him very much, right?

So the best thing you could do now is just to talk about it. He's feeling something he doesn't really know how to handle, so you should facilitate him into getting through this and sorting it out.

Call him up and ask something like "Hey, you've been pretty quiet for the past few days, is anything wrong?"

If he tells you what's wrong, guide him through it. "Gosh, I can't imagine how that must feel to you... How do you feel about that?"

"I can totally understand that."

Then, if he's emptied his mind, if he's thrown his feelings on the table, and when you UNDERSTAND HIM, then you can go about into clearing up the misunderstanding you have.

After that, of course, end on a positive note, and ask him "alright, so when are we going to see each other again? I have an awsome movie I want to see with you and you have to tell me absolutely everything about Tenerife."

Now, as for the Troubleshooting, yay!

If he doesn't answer you honestly, or when he doesn't want you to know something's bothering him about all this, and he says "nothing" when you ask him what's wrong, then ask again in a different way

"Hey, you've been pretty quiet for the past few days, is anything wrong?"

"No".

"Oh, then do you know why you are being so quiet the past few days? Do you feel bad, or are you sad about something?"

"It's nothing"

"You know you can tell me what's wrong, right? I'm right here with you, you can tell me. Is anything wrong?"

If he still refuses to answer after three times, you should just go "alright, then when are we going to see each other again? I have an awsome movie I want to see and you have to tell me absolutely everything about Tenerife." Try to change his mood for the better.

Anywhoo, good luck with this situation. I hope everything's going to be fine. Do keep us updated and tell us how it'll go, a'ight? ;p

And don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine. ;)

Have a great day! ^^

[3thompson____]

Wow! that's really good. youve planned out a whole 3 conversations. I'll leave it for a week because he'll probably be busy settling back in. If I've not heard from him by then, I'll phone him using your plan.

Don't worry. I'll Keep you updated :)

[TimB -1-2-3]

Let's just say that I know by now what people react to positively and negatively, and what people think, feel and need in these kinds of situations So I just base my answers on that.

One final thing, though... One week is a LOOONG time... I'd rather say you should do it as fast as you can. Tomorrow evening!

Just imagine what his head is like. The uncertainty, the brewing negative emotions that's he's feeling now for an entire week already. Maybe even the feeling that you don't like him anymore.

[Jack_C]

well I don't think you've done anything wrong. he needs to understand that you had a previous engagement. and that it is quite immature for him to act like that because you didn't change everything at the drop of a dime. you say that he is p*ssed about you not coming over right? I think you should turn the tables on him. get extremely angry at him for acting like he did. make him feel bad for being so p*ssy about not getting his way. and if he wants things to continue, he'd better have a serious attitude adjustment because your not going to be belittled when you did nothing wrong. tell him that you do not aopoligize for not blowing your friend off for his needs when he called so randomly. tell him you don't want to hear his sh*t unless its an apoligy for acting so immature and trying to make you feel guilty. other than that just ignore him for a few more days at the least. and he'll get over it. but you didn't do anything wrong at all, he did by being a jackass. and if he's too stuborn to admit it , then he's not mature enough to be in a relationship. sorry to be so harsh, but that's bullsh*t. I hope I was able to help somewhat, best of luck : )

[3thompson____]

Aw thanks that was a good help. I got my own back on him by asking him if he wanted to go to something, which was my planto see if he had grown up or calmed down. I knew he would say he was busy,to get back at me, and I was right.

so I gave him a taste of his own medicine and replied the exact same that he'd sent to me .. ' Ok.' , I couldn't help myself. I'm going to wait to see if he appologises, so I'm giving him a week. If he doesn't then ill scare him by saying that it might be over.