I found cigarettes in my older brothers room, what do I do?

[Autumn26]

So my brother is 16 and he has always told me that he would never smoke and that it was disgusting... I went into his room to get his laptop to do homework on and found them. I saw him smoking a few months ago and confronted him, he told me a week later that he had stopped and he obviously hasn't... What shall I do?

[MadameJulietta]

Discuss.

That's correct, discuss, don't lecture. Communication is key, especially when a topic is as important as this one. Follow this loose guideline, and your conversation should go (fairly) smoothly:

Begin by asking where he got the cigarettes. Don't threaten to call your mother or you'll never get an honest answer.

Ask your brother what he found so appealing about the cigarettes. Was it peer pressure? The desire to look cool? Take what your son or daughter says and express your own point of view about the matter.

Explain how you don't want him to take time off of his life by smoking, and how you love him and don't want him to smoke.

Good luck.

[Autumn26]

Thanks, I've spoken to him about it before but was too disappointed to really say anything. I know where he got most of it and can guess where he got the rest. I'm not into lectures, actually I hate them so I'll talk to him and ask (like you suggested) thanks so much for an answer that wasn't 'its none of your business' ;)

[Dave20152]

You can't really tell someone to stop smoking, especially because it'll only make them want to do it more. They have to realize it on themselves, and usually it takes a catastrophe to do it. he thinks he's invincible right now. Just watch when he disposes of a cigarette butt improperly, and burns a bar down

[Autumn26]

@Dave20152 yeah sounds like him, he really does think he is invincible haha

[ilovebeingagirl]

I have a big brother too and i experienced that many many times. He lied about quit smoking and he told me not to tell our parents which i didn't. And from that moment we became close and he always tell everything because he trusted me. But as a good little sister i have to keep on reminding him always about the bad effects of smoking even it is his own choices..
My brother was influenced by his friends. And its hard to stop once you started smoking. May be you should ask him or something if you really want to know the reason why he smokes. May be he's stressed or something.. I suggest you to ask him and be more caring to him. Make him think that you're trustworthy

[Autumn26]

Yeah, I didn't tell anyone last time I found him smoking, I think its his girlfriend influencing him... Thanks

[ilovebeingagirl]

Oh my thats the worst. My brother's ex smokes too. Thank God they broke up. lol

[Autumn26]

Yeah, she is a nice girl, just a bad influence and neither of them realise it :|

[Paris13]

My own middle sibling began this same beguine of Smoking at the age of 13. I never told mom and dad, kept it to myself, for no matter what you Might say or even do, they will go ahead behind your back any way to have their... Own way.
Many teens start early with this dirty habit but as they get older, they will be eating their words of finding it cool because in the end, my friend, they learn Then that it is detrimental to their health and the sure signs sure do show.
Good luck. xx

[Autumn26]

Thanks

[Paris13]

Oh, so welcome... My sibling has asthma, my dad had to quit because the BIG "E" came on and now my mom was told this as well... I have a cousin who has P. A. D from smoking and chronic COPD which is in the stages of the Big "E"... Let us hope your bro quits and maybe good to enlighten him with some info just to be helpful. xxoo

[Anonymous]

His life his choice... blah blah blah. No. What you need to do is get a picture of the cigs and a secret voice recording of him confessing. Tell him that you love him and he needs to stop because honestly he's only damaging his body. Smoking has zero benefits. If he says no, tell him you'll tell your parents. If he says you have no proof, you do. Tell him where its at and that you need something from him (money, faors, etc. Nothing too vile). And if he tries to fight you for the evidence you "lose" (on purpose). What he doesn't know is that you secretly have it backed up in the cloud or your computer and you tell your parents.

[Autumn26]

Thats very clever, thanks

[Bowshots86]

Well honestly its not up to you, if he wants to smoke then he is going to inevitably end up smoking. You can state your discomfort with him smoking, you can tell your parents and let them handle it. But ultimately it isn't your choice he is his own person

[Autumn26]

Yeah, I know that its out of my hands I just hope he stops

[Mesonfielde]

Clearly he doesn't care about his health and he doesn't care about your warnings, so only your parents can fix this.

[Autumn26]

I guess so, thanks

[Darkfairie17]

You really can't do anything other than talk to him. Everyone knows how bad smoking is, yet there are still people who continue to do it.

The only way he is going to stop is if he wants to stop.

It really is silly, because every person I talk to says they would love to quit and hate smoking. But they are addicted to it.

[cinderelli]

dont yell at him or anything.. just hand him the cigarettes and go silent.. totally silent..

[Autumn26]

So u think I should take them then give them back so ge knows i know?

[cinderelli]

yup..

[Autumn26]

Okay, I was thinking of doing that, or moving it all onto his bed so he knows someone knows but won't know who haha :)

[cinderelli]

No.. you give him with your hand.. so he knows you know., and he will realize that you are disappointed in him.

[Autumn26]

Okay, I will do that thank you

[cinderelli]

no problem. :) i hope he will leave this bad habit soon..

[Autumn26]

Yeah me too haha

[genericname85]

yeah it sucks but you can´t do anything about it. maybe your parents manage to stop him from it untill he moves out but he´ll do it then. some people just ignore how much they damage their body with it.

[truthbeknown]

In this situation, I recommend black mail. Might as well make some money from his stupidity.

[Autumn26]

Omg that actually quite a good idea haha (btw I've never blackmailed b4) aha

[truthbeknown]

Usually, bm is something a douchebag does, but in this case smoking is more disgusting and deserves some kind of punishment or financial "penalty".

[SurströmmingLover]

A teenager experimenting with smoking... hm... first time I'm hearing sth like that LOL It's his life and his choices.

[Autumn26]

Yeah I know, I'm 16 so I can't preach but its ridiculous haha

[badboy666]

Tell on him.

I am glad my brother told on me to my parents. Thank god I got caught before I became an addict.

[lumos]

Tell your parents and have them sort it out. It's not your job to raise him.

[Autumn26]

He asked me not to last time and he would get in so much trouble, I don't want that for him if he can fix this and realise what he is doing on his own

[lumos]

You already gave him one chance to stop. He didn't. Tough love. Maybe if he gets in trouble he'll realize how stupid he's being. Letting him go every single time won't teach him anything other than the fact that you're a pushover who will let him get away with it. If you were a parent, wouldn't you want your children to let you know when one of them is doing something bad?

[Autumn26]

Okay, first I'm not a push over I just think that he is smart enough that if I talk to him and he sees reason then he will stop on his own, if I tell on him he is going to dig his heels in and not stop...

[lumos]

He's a smoker, he's not going to stop just because his little sister tells him to or encourages him to. He needs help and tough love, which I do believe is something only your parents can give.

[zombiebabe]

what can you do? nothing because its his choice

[Suhmer]

Mind your own business. It's his choice if he wants to smoke, you don't control him.

[Suhmer]

and also, how would you like it if he started trying to dictate what you did? You wouldn't like it, so I wouldn't even bother. It will just cause a rift between you and your brother.

[Autumn26]

I know, but he does do that to me, says he 'owns' me (which obviously he doesn't) we're really close and always try to help each other with stuff so I think I'm just going to let him get in with it :/

[Suhmer]

Oh, well thats a little different. I mean, you can mention it to him but he'll only get defensive, he won't react well to you criticizing him (no one does)

[Autumn26]

I know, thanks

[dankmemes]

buy him some weed instead, cigarettes are gross..

[AngryHorny]

Nothing. Dude has to make his own choices in life.

[Autumn26]

Guess so, I just wish he hadn't lied to me... Nevermind

[VampireEmpress]

at least he won't get high off them.

[gapminder]

What kind of smoke treats were they?

[Anonymous]

Leave him alone... Duh.

[mexborough]

not your fucking business, haha,.

[ShaeNielson]

You stay out of it.