The Designer Dress And The Cheap Shirt. An Article On 'The Chase' For The Ladies.

Girl meets guy, guy meets girl, primal level attraction. What next? The chase. The juice of the relationship. The icing on the cake.

If we sum up the theory of the chase up into a single word, it would be ‘patience‘.

Let’s begin with an analogy. Fashion. Imagine purchasing a five dollar bargain bin shirt, it is plain, simple and easy to obtain. A cheap shirt will only be worn once or twice, then it will be tossed aside. BUT when it comes to buying a designer dress, it is a mission. You have to earn enough money to purchase it, dry clean it and most of all, you have to work out … so it looks amazing on you. You will adore this dress with all your passion.

In the game of relationships and dating, it is the same. If a guy can see through you easily, there will be no mystery. He will lose interest and move on. If a guy obtains you easily, he won’t learn to appreciate you because you weren’t a challenge to get. Men were born with testosterone. Challenge and competition is in their primal nature. Don’t deny them of their right. Give them a chase. Give them the adrenaline rush they crave. The chase is when the male defines your worth.

The first thing all women forget is that men are visual creatures. REMEMBER: If a man approaches you and likes what he sees, then FACT: YOU ARE HOTTER THAN HIM. This is because, men a egotistic creatures, they’re not going to game some lady that is less attractive than them. They go for the ones that are out of their league, the CHALLENGE, the TROPHY. So quit worrying whether you’re hot enough for him, cause YOU’RE more than hot enough for him. You’re the DESIGNER DRESS to begin with. Insecurity makes you a CHEAP SHIRT. So, with this fun fact. Quit being a pooper and act like the prize and trophy. If he wants you, make him work for it. This means, BE MYSTERIOUS. The chase is about giving men the desire to obtain you, but never letting them figure you out. Never be a sure thing.

Mystery is so sexy, because humans are curious creatures. Instead of throwing compliments to the male verbally (like ‘oh, you have such nice hair), show your interested through your body language. Words are simple, with each compliment you’re cheapening yourself to the male, because he will realise you like him and won’t work as hard. The saying LESS IS MORE is gold. Quit talking and yapping. Instead, look at him, smile when he asks you a question, don’t answer it directly (heck, stay silent and just smile if it is a cheeky question). TOUCH. Flirt. Just don’t compliment him directly. Because men like their egos to be fed, if you do it obviously and too early on, his ego will be satisfied and he will move on. If you don’t feed it, he will come and almost beg for it. GETTING YOU is the ultimate ego boost. Don’t poop the party. A man, will chase something hot, even if he thinks that she is just slightly interested. So, stop coming on too strong. Make it seem that he is an OPTION.



The chase is about waiting it out. NO sudden movements. I know that if you like a guy, chances are you will think about him all the time, dissect and analyse his calls/emails/text messages. Do it all you like, JUST WAIT before you call/email/text him back. TWO REASONS: Show that you have a LIFE and MAKE him THINK about you. If a man can’t get you, he will have to spend extra time thinking about you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Let it happen. A man can smell EAGER BEAVER, DESPERATO from yonks away. CLINGY makes them go soft on the spot. Modern men like to know that their chosen female is capable to surviving alone, because it shows that she is a strong and CONFIDENT individual and it MAKES HER EVEN SEXIER. Show him this by being unavailable … DON’T TELL him all about the extra activities you do and then be free all the time. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER than words. If he knows that he can’t see you when he wants to, he will play according to your rules. He will realise that he is just a smidgen of your life and will then SQUIRM and WRIGGLE to increase his time. Also, because he can’t see you, it will make him wonder what you are doing. HIS imagination will wander. LET IT, he will make it kinkier in his mind and CRAVE YOU EVEN MORE.

They key is to show interest. BUT always less than him. Wait for him to make the advances, and when he does, match it with a lower level of appreciation. Like if he states that he ‘likes you’, smile and touch his arm instead of blurting out ‘I LIKE YOU TOO!’ Hold it in.

A good chase is a slow process. Think of it as a MIND SEX marathon. The mind games and the kinky imagination happens during the chase, stop cutting it short, instead savour these moments slowly. Enjoy the fact that he is thinking about you when you’re imagining how fine he is!

Remember, chemistry can’t be forced. If something is meant to happen it will happen. If he is a dud, move on. Find a better chase.

Don’t put all your eggs in a single basket. If he makes you an OPTION don’t make him your PRIORITY.

Don’t be a bargain bin shirt. Be the designer dress, because you’re the DESIGNER dress to BEGIN WITH!

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What Guys Said 46

  • And that's why I called this whole belief system a "Black Swan". Because it comes to be purely out of fear. And the theory stems from the need to know and be able to explain things in a predictable way; but only after the fact; never before.

    Kind of like:

    Girl: What sign are you?

    Guy: Scorpio

    Girl: Omg! I knew it!

    Guy: If you knew it, why did you even bother asking me? Why did you wait till after I told you to act with any kind of certainty?

    It's fear of being hurt, controlled, and manipulated.

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  • Which leaves you prey the other men who don't feel the need to emotionally protect themselves, because there's no emotional damage to be done; they're just after sex. They're willing to do all these things, jump through any hoop and tolerate all requests to sacrifice his dignity, ego and self-respect; because he's not emotionally invested in that girl, for him it's just sex, so such requests don't dent those things at all. You've literally formed a belief to keep weeding out normal guys and dating jerks

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  • I think you're falling (and possibly other girls reading this article) into the insecurity trap of "explaining a consequence with something that is within your control" (a "Black Swan" fallacy)

    - Genetics are beyond your control.

    - Actions however are.

    - If you can convince yourself that men are attracted to some women more than other NOT because of beauty but because of playing hard-to-get and other games; you will comfort that insecurity of how you look relative to other women as long as ur not "cheap"

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  • I do admire the way girls try and formulate elaborate excuses to rid themselves of any guilt in playing hard-to-get or other games during dating. Guilt and shame that of course derive from knowing they are engaging in dishonest and manipulative behavior. But if it's instead framed as "don't be the "cheap" shirt, be the expensive one he has to work for, not because of you, but because of him! HE loves the chase, so you're not being bad, you're really being good and nice by giving HIM what HE wants"

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  • Imma end this madness and just say that the author of the article is not saying to simply "play games"...if you read and comprehend she is empowering women to think highly of themselves and to not think of themselevs in a negative light (like all magazines and media and tv ads and everybody else makes them feel). Us guys don't feel ANY of that pressure because it simply does not exist. ...But then again, you would know that if you wasn't hatin on folks (cuz drinkin that Hatorade clouds your judgement)

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  • BTW.....any stud that responds negatively to this has probably been played easily and are mad that a girl of your stature has empowered women to think highly of themselves. Because lets face it.......a guy doesn't want a raggety t-shirt for the long haul. That's why men cheat. They ALWAYS want the designer dress girl. When was the last time you heard a guy say ?that ugly girl?s got it going on yo! I gots ta hit those skins!?. Because at the end of the day......we don't want t-shirt girls we want designer

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  • 1. Best answer ratio only means you tell people what they want to hear.

    2. I fully admit women need to think highly of themselves. But there's a difference between that and thinking you should mess with some dude's head just because he approached you by playing head games.

    Here's how it should be:

    "I like you."

    "I like you too."

    "Cool."

    Where's the problem with that?

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  • And no, I haven't been played by a Designer Dress, as you put it. That's just the vibe they give off. They're the type of girls I can see being nothing but drama and problems later on down the line. The kind who have all the qualities men constantly complain about when it comes to women. Drama queens, high maintenance b*tches, the kind of girl who you hope gets run over by a bus as her high heel shoe breaks while crossing the street.

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  • Whatever. I can completely, totally, and with 100% certainty say that I would not bother with a woman who did the things you advised women to do in this article. In my eyes she would be worthless trash. And she would be treated as such. And I am obviously not the only one.

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  • Because after you've been down that road, you realize that what guys want for the LONG HAUL isn't the designer dress, but the comfy shirt and sweats that is machine washable rather than has to be dry cleaned, and still fits you comfortably even after you've put on some weight.

    So, if you want to be a short term fling, sure, be the designer dress. But if you want to be the long term relationship, then be the comfy T-shirt and sweats you picked up at Wal-Mart for less than the price of a pizza

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  • Special of occasions, and even then you think it's a pain to deal with. You eventually tire of it completely mothball it in a closet or get ride of it completely. Meanwhile, all that time, you still had your favorite T-Shirt and pair of sweats that you would happily wear the rest of the time because of how comfy they are and how easy they are to deal with.

    This is why women who follow your philosophy end up getting thrown out like trash after the guy finally acquires you. Same thing.

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  • And let's go with your analogy some more, and let's assume you're right.

    You buy the designer dress because you had to work for it and you view it as a trophy of sorts. But now that you own it, you realize it takes so much more work just to maintain it. It needs to be dry cleaned rather than machine washed, and the simple matter of just taking it off and putting it on is a huge chore. Because of how much of a pain it is to deal with, you eventually stop wearing it except for the most

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  • I think it all goes back to the men think vs. the way women think. Women complicate the process because they WANT it to be complicated. They believe that it is somehow more rewarding when you have to work harder to achieve the same result, and they believe that men also think that way. This is not the case. Men like to simplify things and cut out unnecessary steps whenever possible. It's just our nature.

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  • I like your analogy, unfortunately it just doesn't work in reality like you say it does. Why? Because to many men, the chase, and the power struggle you speak of, they're all just games that are an omen to lots and lots of drama later on down the line. Why create resistance when there naturally isn't any? it just adds problems. If a girl ever once even pulled any of this nonsense on me, I would simply move on and throw thoughts of her out with the trash.

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  • WeaponZero; I give you kudos for not reacting to ad hominem.

    If that whole theory on ratings is true, then is my point stronger than both your points combined because I have a higher %??

    It's true.. all you need to do for a high-rating is prey on insecure affirmation/validation-seeking QA's

    - Unanswered for over 1 day and;

    - What do guys think is pretty? Do I look fat? Am I beautiful? Would you date me? This guy is doing this, what do you think it means? Will he come back? Does he like me?

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  • So sooner or later, maybe not right now, or say within a week or throughout the month; but when you finally feel yourself have control over your thoughts and emotions, and be the boss in your head, and give the finger to fears and insecurities; you'll realize that men have those same fears and insecurities, and that we're really the same animal. as you realize that; now that's why you'll understand what it means to trust, love and respect men; and welcome the same from them into your life.

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  • And the truth is that I've met and dated many beautiful women; and I don't mean physically, but emotionally. So many great girls, all over the place, even across this site. And they're actually many more great women out there; that all the bad/evil/blah blah blah ones just fade away into the background like a grain of salt in an endless ocean. And as much as I have to lose and be hurt from trusting women and being manipulated; I've learned to love women, and people, and they learn to do the same

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  • We all have that fear. But if I start believing that ALL women are evil and manipulative; and start to treat ALL women so by virtue of holding that belief true in my head; then women will pick up on it. The women who are NOT like that will feel insulted, disrespected, and leave. The women who are like that, will stay. So my fear actually causes me to react and welcome it into my life by virtue of trying to avoid it. Instead; I'd be better off ignoring fear and becoming aware of the truth.

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  • A guy does respect honesty; contrary to what your fears have convinced you to believe.

    We want to feel accepted, appreciated, attractive, and wanted (emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, and financially). To believe that a girl who makes us feel the opposite of this somehow captures our heart and interest; evoking love & marriage; is like believing girls really just want a complete a-hole & jerk who will treat them like sh*t and have no respect for them. That's how sound that belief is.

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  • Men are like little boys, romantically. And no matter that age, we're always looking for that little girl to fall in love with. Yes, there are bad men out there. You've focused on them your whole life. Why not take a break and focus on the other kind of guys you've been denying exist your whole life? That's why, after a point, a guy's sense of self-respect and dignity; and pride, tell him to stop chasing. Because the girl he's looking for fall in love with wouldn't be this way.

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What Girls Said 19

  • Thanks rain, nash and sun.

    judah, I know some males would disagree. but that is the thing, in every relationship, at the beginning there is a power struggle. also, if we didn't play these games, you men wouldn't be interested (I think I speak on behalf of many women [and vice versa]) cause, keeping interest is a mission. but thank you for your opinion :)

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  • No matter what you say. relationships will always have games to begin with. even in the best relationships there are power struggles. what I have named in this article is merely a personal insight. because, to be honest, men CONDONE it. you say that you don't want drama, I get it, but you just don't treat us the same when we play your silly little games. it is like the theory of women blaming PLAYERS. players ONLY exist cause women allow them to exist and have women to game.

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  • pro no one is mysterious unless they don't even understand emselves. it is an act to get what you want. withholding informations. chemistry can't be forced, but you can deliberately create mystery but leaving an answer and dragging out w anticipation.

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  • Excellent! This has explained it to me better than any similar advice on the subject of 'the chase' ever has.

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  • NOTE: this article is for women to like a CHALLENGE. bit of a thrill seeker - and tend to work better with ALPHA males, or ones with egos ... not shy men.

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  • It sounds a lot like you're writing this article from your experiences. So first of all I want to thank you for sharing.

    I think this is partly true. People want a challenge because...you always want whatever is not readily available to you. But I think that playing hard to get is more or less a natural response. It's like, you know he really likes you, so now you're gonna play around.

    You see what I'm saying?

    And if you actually TRY to play hard to get, you'll probably end up confusing the guy

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  • I think this is half and half, eventually he's goning to have to know you're interested, on the other hand don't be weird stalker girl lol. Be vibrant and alive is what I take from this. Show your true colors, but only if you have any to begin with. I wouldn't fake having other interests when I don't.

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  • I immediately think, “What is wrong with him? What does he know that I don’t?” And I end up thinking it’s like a “super-game”. If you guys don’t like that, then tell your gender to stop treating women like objects and sex toys, because the result is women don’t trust guys as much.

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  • A lot of girls play games because they want to see if the guy they're interested in is the same as other bad guys they've met and known. Girls learn to play games to weed out the players and find the good guys. I'm not saying it's "right", but so far, that's all some of us know. I guess logically speaking, "why play games to find someone who doesn't play games?" It's hard not to, though, when so many guys respond to the game and some literally ask you for it. If a guy doesn't play any games

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  • Stupid games, stupid chase. I'm only 16, but I don't want to waste my time with GAMES. Guys (and girls) grow up! If you want me, ok, show it, act on it. I don't have time in my life to mess around with games, to dissect everything and plan all of my moves. If it's going to work, it will. I'm not playing games, I can't read a guy's mind. So be open about your feelings. Not really always saying everything, but don't always be mysterious either. Ugh, games...

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  • And he will get confused and move on.

    When you're trying to get with someone, just be natural and be yourself. Don't MAKE time for them in the beginning. Show them that you have a life and that you can be independent. You don't NEED another person.

    Do not PRETEND that you're busy when you really are not and don't not respond to texts or phone calls when you really could have responded.

    itssimplekeepitreal did say that if the chemistry is there, it WILL work out.

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  • Very true! People say "Oh don't play games" but girls who make themselves too easy in the beginning get what? Tossed aside! Their man gets bored with them, she's too easy and clingy. No mystery. That's just how it is. There might be like 4 guys who don't agree =) but most guys go for that whether they admit it or not.

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  • [cont] becomes more attractive as he gets to know her. If you put everything on the table, clear your entire schedule and act like you're already in a relationship with a guy you just met he's gonna move on quick. Why? Maybe because there's no mystery. Or maybe he enjoys the flirty aspect himself. I don't know but I do know it's a good way to be.

    While some of you have good intentions, there are some guys who will totally take advantage of a girl who acts like the "Cheap Shirt" before they are

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  • I have to agree with bond007's quote when he said: "And yea.......I wish every girl knew that not all guys are thinkin about girls like girls think about guys.". I think the guys who are objecting this article are the guys who are actively interested in having a relationship. Most guys you meet are not going to be that upfront. Girls play games because guys play games. Not saying every girl and every guy does b.c we all date differently, but to MOST guys I know/dated/talked to/friends with

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  • I really LOVE this article. I think you did a great job of explaining all this information. awesome!

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  • Great advice! Thanks :)

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  • [cont] I'm not saying all guys are dishonest but they don't exactly show all their cards either so why should girls?

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  • I think everyone plays games if they know it or not. Playing games can be fun. (:

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  • I wish I saw this article 2 weeks ago! Bravo! You nailed it!

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