Shy Girls and the VERY Subtle Clues I Have Painfully Learned if They Are Crushing

[naraku]

A Bit of a rant based on some the answers to previous questions I posted here and my own observations and learnings about shy girls who may have a crush :

I've learned about a shy girl who might have a crush on me - and I like her-

Might not look at me , matter of fact she might turn away from me and face her back to me and

If she does look at me it will be little glances that I probably won't catch.

She might stand near me with her friends at any point but NONE of them will say hello. Just kind of bump me a little and stand barely hands witdth away. And probably expect or hope I will just launch into a conversation.

She might smile a lot and laugh with said friends just so I pick up on any " positive vibe" thus showing she is a DTE, friendly and fun girl but won't smile at ME.

This girl might flick her hair around and even stand there and mess it up to go with my punk/rocker type of look , tie it in a ponytail after she does look at me ( supposedly a sign of interest)

wear a bit of make up where her friends don't really at all.

She talks in a high pitch / squeaky voice around me but still won't say hi and respond to a friend's comment with a loud " wwwwhhhoooaaaa ! " to seemingly get my attention

AND

-To top it off - I said hi to her once we have a brief chat only for her to never say anything since but implement a combo of the above . Of course I take this as rejection and am devastated only to be told shy girls go weird around there crush so , I am told to mend my broken heart because she has probably gone really shy because *I* acknowledged her and I should not take this as rejection because she implements some or all of the following ! Believe it or not but it hasn't been that easy to turn my mind set because I was DEVASTATED that she seemingly rejected me. I blamed myself for everything , wrong approach , wrong timing , wrong words and been ugly.

So in the end it seems *I* am supposed to put this all together and have it click that she has a crush on me from all these subtle and near non-existent hints !!

Is this for real?

Am I an idiot?

How do some people even get together in these instances ?

It's just me compared to them numbering four - ten at anyone time including the girl I like. total doom...

P.S. I REALLY DO HOPE I GET TO KNOW AND END UP TOGETHER WITH HER !

Just the frustration , I needed a mytake.

[stellarvore]

Just go talk to her and skip all this mind-reading nonsense. Rejection doesn't hurt so much. All the time you spent thinking this up, you could have been spending with her instead. Or, if she wasn't into you, you could have spent it meeting someone new.

What's she gonna say? No? Who cares about her then? What did you lose, to hear her say no?

But if you don't take the risk, you'll never hear her say "yes".

[SillygalwithQs]

What the hell man? She sounds just like me.
I think you should first try to become her friend and become really close to her to the point where she opens up to you. Only then can you can start pursuing her because to most shy girls, strangers that suddenly show interest in them is very intimidating. YEP.

[naraku]

Well, I always try to get to know a girl first. I don't just go straight into something.
And I did try to talk to her and I thought I got the thumbs down treatment. But it seems I could be very wrong.
I am trying to convince myself to say hi again. Seems for one of the few times ever I doubt myself around a girl now. Normally I just go for it and if a girl is interested great if not at least I tried.
Well thanks for your input.

[Dim1213]

Try getting to know her more. Be confident and approach her. Even if she seems to hate it do it a few more times because they won't show you or tell you how they really feel which might be that they want you to try one more time so they can tell you how much they like you.
With shy girl the biggest thing to go on is her freinds and close freinds. She will talk to them but never to you. Be freindly with her freinds and after making a play like complimenting her. Ask her freinds latter what they think happened. They might just tell you that she told them that she loved it but felt bad that she did not really show you that she liked it.
Of course she also won't tell you when she hates you flirting with her. However her freinds will also help you know if she does not like you.
Good luck I have gone for a few shy girls recnelty and they are really hard.

[naraku]

Thanks for your info.
How did you go with your shy girl in the end?

I did a little test today on her friends. Usually I walk quite a bit down the path while waiting for transport to come. Instead I went only about a 1/4 of the way down and waited for them to pass by. Well, they still parked themselves right by me. Not quite as close without her there but I guess they think positively of me or they're THAT used to me as there "marker" they do it automatically.
But I hope she will be with them sooner rather than later so I can say hi or at least wave to her.

[Dim1213]

Well instead of testing them be friendly and say hi. Get to know them and if your lucky one of them might spill the beans for you.

[Dim1213]

Well she hated her freind flirting with her and only told me that after I asked her out and got turned down. That one betrayed me latter on. Apparently she had more issues than I knew and a secret hatred for men that she hid for a while.
The second one was flattered but did not want to go out but did not want to say no either. I don't know why but she stood me up. After a year we are finally back to talking with each other.

[naraku]

I think I am going to have to go the friend route. I might just even blurt out that I like her or ask if she is single. Even if it get's back to her, then it might make her appear again.

Man, it seems shy girls are just tough. At least you're talking to one of them again. So hopefully that's a positive for you.

[Dim1213]

Ask her out don't just tell her. If you ask her out she has 2 answers yes or no. If you just tell her she has to decide what she is going to do with that info. It is a lot easier for people to process 2 things.

[naraku]

Well I want to of course, but I have seen her once ( for literally about 30 seconds ) in 3 weeks.
That time there was maybe 1-200 people or trying to crowd on since that train was delayed so yeah no chance.
Her friends on the other hand...

[PaulineH]

You should initiate contact more often.
You have to be confident otherwise it wil be a very awkward mess. You've to approach her being friendly and break the ice. If you don"t, she won't do it. She might be affraid of making a move, of leaving her confort zone (that was me during one whole year!).
You could maybe try to sit next to her in class, doing group project together.
If it doesn't work you could try to be friend with her friends.

[naraku]

Thanks for your input.

It's funny, I thought it was dead and buried and my dream to meet and ( hopefully ) date her had gone with it. I am glad I posted on here since it seems even away from this mytake where I asked individual questions, it seems there's support for me to approach her again.
Believe it or not, but it's been hard to change my mindset from been rejected to probably going for her again.

Thanks again though ! :)

[Anonymous]

Yeah you're right that shy girls behave like that around their crush not sure about the make up thing maybe she just likes make up tho. Anyways yeah it's not you that you're ugly she probably doesn't know how to behave around you so it gets awkward

[naraku]

Thanks for the info.

I was advised that the makeup MIGHT be her trying to stand out from the group or like you said maybe she just likes it. :)

[tiadog7]

she sounds so much like me. But just be chill with her. Don't ask her in front of a crowd around personal things. But be chill with her. what I just said was probably usless.

[naraku]

Thanks for the info.
Every bit of information can be valuable and I appreciate you putting down what you think here.
So if I just said hi even around her friends it should be OK.

[Anonymous]

I know I know, we're confusing but we're just scared you may not like us back so we try not to make it too obvious

[naraku]

I think she likes me even though it's hard to figure out. But I am hoping to find out really soon !

[Opinion Owner]

If she's like me, she'll never tell you. Or at least not directly. I've told friends and once tried to be straight forward by saying in a joking voice " It's funny John (our mutual friend) thinks that I like you" He quickly changed the topic then I assumed that he wasn't into me.
Other times the guy found out by my blabbermouth friend. One told me weeks later that he knew... another one I went up to since he didn't know who I was.

Just get to know her then confront her or tell her you're interested and ask if she is. Some girls will lie and deny it but I don't get why. If she's that scared of rejection then move on because it should be worth the risk!

[naraku]

it's very good information and advice. thank you!

[Anonymous]

I do that too and hate myself for that. But yeah, we'll never be together with my crush

[naraku]

Is it because you are scared or uncertain?

Next time I see her... 😉

[Opinion Owner]

it's because i'm certain that he won't care. so there's no pont

[naraku]

and if you are wrong?

I thought I was. I might of really blown it.
That I think is worse.

[Opinion Owner]

i am not :) not everywhere is this fairytale

[naraku]

Well, I'm yet to see if this is my fairytale too.

[scooogy]

Yeah, the painful learning part is why I gave up on them

[blackbarbie5]

I have the same issue, except with a shy guy. I often times feel rejected, and many times doubted if he liked me. So I just gave up. Read my question, it pertains to this. Thanks

[naraku]

What do you think of this girl ?

I answered your question too.

[blackbarbie5]

I think she likes you, and since you are the guy you should continue to approach because that's what guys are supposed to do. But approach gently and keep approaching. Tell her how you feel in writing, she might respond to that.

[naraku]

Thanks for your input. I never knew a shy girl would act this way so I learned a lot. I will approach her asap because I think she is going to be worth it

[Dim1213]

With your guy backbarbies he might just not have the guys to make a move and is to shy to date right now.

[Anonymous]

its an amazing piece you have produced.

[naraku]

Thank You.

This is all based on experience. 😐

[Anonymous]

I like shy girls