How do I know he likes me for more than just sex?
Okay so I've been seeing this guy for like a month and a half, 2 months. When we first got talking we got to know a lot about each other and we had a lot of similar interests and values and stuff, so I finally just asked him, 'are you going to take me out on a date yet?' and he did. We got along amazingly and I was really ladylike as usual, we had the second date and we kissed a lot, then on the third date we had sex - he never pushed me into anything, never has, and always said if I wasn't comfortable with something to just tell him. Sometimes I have, and he's respected that (though usually we ended up going there anyway, at my wish, just a bit later) Up until then we'd still been talking and enjoying the dates and I really like him, and I think he really likes me too... but the thing is, I know this sounds kinda arrogant of me, but I seem to fall under the category of good in bed? He says I'm beautiful and I have a really curvy but skinny figure, curves in all the right places I guess, I like all the things he does in bed, and that includes some pretty dirty stuff... I guess I have a really high sex drive, I can go a bit crazy, I'm not all that inhibited. And since then, we've still been talking and dating and doing stuff, but the conversations always include sex somewhere, as do the dates. If we can't have sex for some reason, it starts to get to be a main topic of conversation. I kinda feel like he always expects me to sleep with him. That's not a problem for me, but for all my kinkiness, I don't like casual sex or one-night stands, I only date a guy if I really like him, which means if I sleep with him I'll really really like him.
But lately I've been thinking, does that mean he only wants me for sex? The thing is, if I'm dating someone and I don't think a serious relationship could come of it, I end it - I don't like to just 'casually date' forever. Do you guys think a relationship is possible here? Is this normal? I know that if I'm in a relationship I still want to have a good sex life... so, is he just enjoying his as part of the dating process and maybe it could stay that way later too if we got serious? Or is he taking advantage of how I don't like to rush things but also really like him and like a lot of sex? I can't really tell... what are your experiences and thoughts?
What's Your Opinion?
What Guys Said 1
i love a girl who can have a real relationship and still have lots of sex.. me personally I use sex as a way to communicate my feelings to the person. and yea with y ex's sex would always be a major topic but then again sex usually is everywhere you go. he may be using the subject of sex as a way to keep a conversation alive because he doesn't know any other subjects or something else to keep your interest. that's the hardest thing when you have sex so early is that its hard to keep the girls interest afterward s. because now on the 6th date she's not excited and thinking about how great the sex can be because how well you two are getting along and how your chemistry is. she already knows. and so what's next, what else can we do to keep you interested? our minds are simple sex is usually one the top of things. so just keep talking with him and try to talk about things totally opposite of sex. is he using you for sex? not that I can tell. sounds like you guys hit it off hot and heavy tho so the relationship is based on sex.
one thing I live my life by I have also said many times to my friends so I don't end up in a relationship that is based off sex is that " I use sex as a way to express my love for the girl when saying I love you isn't enough, sex is unimportant to the relationship. the relationship is the key focus. only once I have the relationship under control will I have sex. sex is a bonus and not my key focus. my focus is to find a girl who I can truly care about and make her happy. "
What Girls Said 1
Hi, I'm not judging you, but these are my honest thoughts :)
"I don't like casual sex or one-night stands, I only date a guy if I really like him, which means if I sleep with him I'll really really like him."
->sleeping with someone outside a relationship i.e. sleeping a guy you're just dating and you don't know if he likes you for just sex, means you don't know him well enough, which means it's casual sex :)
Yes, if you have sex or when you're not having sex the conversation seems to end up being about sex, then what you guys have is a sex-based thing...he enjoys your company of course but he's mostly in it for the sex. He's not serious about you.
You should consider a lifestyle change or just keep repeating the same mistakes with this and future guys :)