So here’s the thing. I’ve never been in a relationship or been officially asked out on a date. I want to figure out what I’m doing wrong. Lots of guys like me, but only as a friend. I have many guy friends who will call me often, talk on the phone for hours, show me care and be emotionally intimate… but the few times I caught feelings it turned out to not be mutual. My first assumption was that I must not be pretty enough. But I’ve been told by many, many people that I am attractive. And while I’m not a 10, (my guess would be a 6-7, though friends have told me I’m a 9) I have had enough gorgeous guys hit on me (for hookups though, not relationships) to know I’m not inherently ugly. One guy friend in particular actually did sleep with me, very messy situationship that lasted over a year and did not end well. But our mutual friends kept telling me that I’m way out of his league. And I still wasn’t good enough for him to date me. I’m genuinely confused. I’m honest, authentic, and very empathetic and understanding. I have a good career, I’m intelligent, I’m playful and fun, have a good sense of humor and a lot of depth. I can get emotional, but I have seen many girls act way worse and more irrational than me and still be loved. And I never place my emotions on the guy or blame him, I just ask him to hold me through it. And I’ve been told I’m very good in bed, which I know is true—I’m very confident during sex. I cannot for the life of me figure out what’s wrong with me. The good guys who I have emotional intimacy with and would want a relationship with all see me as only a friend—albeit a good, close friend. The others only want to hookup—and I have no lack of guys who want to hookup, though I haven’t done that in almost two years because I’m sick and tired of that. What can I do about it? Besides starting to act like a manipulative bitch—which I refuse to do—cuz somehow my guy friends seem attracted to those girls. And get screwed over again and again.
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