My boyfriend won't talk to me unless I talk first?

He'll tell me to call him when I get home, sometimes he calls first, but that's like once in a while, he NEVER texts me first unless he's bored or wants me to come over. Should I be worried?

Updates:
it's been nearly a month. I spoke to him once on Facebook and he said he wasn't home. I spoke to his sister and she said she didn't know where he was, like last week, but last night she said he's back home and he's been on the phone every night..
should I call him and break up with him or just leave it alone and never talk to him again?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I once heard my former best friend's dad say the following statement: "If a guy truly likes a girl, he will do almost anything to talk to her." I still remember it word for word to this day, because it's so true. I've heard that relationships that start from hook ups are not always real, loving relationships because everything was done so fast before you took the time to get to know each other. That happened to me once, and I ended up in a relationship with the guy but at first he always alwaysss texted me and called ME. I rarely had to initiate conversations. After a little while though, I noticed that he rarely ever texted me first and I was always the one starting the conversations, but I did notice that he still texted me first on occasion if I hadn't texted him in a while. This confused and hurt me, but I eventually realized that the only reason he wasn't texting me all the time anymore was because he didn't "love" me anymore and really only wanted to make sure I would still hook up with him. I've heard from countless girls and guys that guys who aren't interested show that they aren't really interested by their actions, and that if a guy truly likes a girl, he would let them know and try to do anything to be with her. It really sounds like this guy is only in it for the hook up. I'd say dump him before he dumps you and find someone who you can get to know and have a mutual connection with, THEN do all the fun stuff :)

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    • It is so true. This hits home with me. There was this guy I talked to and now he never says anything to me. If a guy truly likes you, he should take the initiative....especially if he really likes that girl. But it still makes me sad.

What Guys Said 11

  • I agree with Crazymango; but when you add the fact that you've been dating for two days, it's likely that he's using you for a snuggle-buddy.

    He's taking advantage of the situation to a point that isn't reasonable. If he wants you to call him, he should be able to call you too.

    Have you talked to him about this, and clearly expressed what you want from him too?

    - You have needs, and it's okay to express those needs to him verbally. Just don't make it dramatic.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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    • But he says that he wants to come to prom with me and all this stuff and I didn't even ask him about prom. he's also not a very verbal person. maybe that has something to do with it?

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    • Your best bet is to just break up with him :( if that's by phone, so be it.

    • Thats what happens sweety when you give up yourself too easy. And that's all you will get in life if you give out your body to someone too fast. learn from your mistakes and keep your pants up unitl you know who your dealing with

  • What tipped me off was when the asker said "He's not a very verbal person". Some guys just don't talk. The real question is how does he treat you? Assuming it's positive, he may need you to help him communicate. A true relationship is about helping each other with their weaknesses. Well, does he treat you right? Only you can or should answer that question.

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  • News flash, guys don't like to talk nearly as much as girls do

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  • I would try to talk to him face to face and confront him about it. It sounds to me like he's being a little shady. If it seems like he's lying then break it off, you don't need problems or drama, if he seems to tell the truth then discusse your problems about the relationship. If he doesn't want to listen then he's not ready for a relationship.

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  • I'm gonna speak from my experiences but this girl that I'm kinda dating always texts me first but if she doesn't then I'll wait a day cause I just don't want to look desperate but I feel bad cause she's doing all the work and it's funny cause the day that I'm gonna do it first it's like bam there she is. Although I'm the one who always sets the dates up so it's even haha. She hasn't complained Yet about it to me though.

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What Girls Said 26

  • Talk to him about it before jumping to conclusions.

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  • I would be worried - when me and my husband were dating he texted me first, almost so much it was annoying and he called me every morning and was the one who was always texting me asking me to do something.

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  • From your responses to the others I can see two things here myself. It seems having a Girlfriend is a comfort to him, security that he isn't alone on a friday night. Also, he sounds like he may have an ego. He wants you to want him, and work for him. You already had sex, and now he is being distant. Guys like a challenge and to feel like they have won a prize. Unfortunately, he may now see you as a been there done that. He may also think you are no fun since you gave it up so quickly.

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    • Well we've been together without the title for a year, and I gave it up after a year..



    • what does that mean? People are fun based on their personalities, not wether or how quickly they have sex

      Maybe if everyone stopped repeating that nonsense ,it wouldn't stick around as a stereotype.

  • a little, he should at least make more of an effort to talk to you. know what you should do? don't call or text him. forceee him to have to talk to you first. cause if he cares a lot about you hell start wondering wer the f*** you are lolll! then hell have to text andd that's wen you will see that he cares, but perhaps is always occupied with something during his days to not talk first. if he reallyy doesn't make any effort talk to you, then that is were I would worry and talk to him about it

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  • I don't think you should be worried. That boy is smart, and realizes that texting is cold and impersonal. The fact that you want him to text you so much shows that you are as well, and that you don't realize that you can use phones to communicate verbally with people.

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    • I don't want him to text me so much, if you read it over you'll see I said he doesn't text OR call. thanks.

    • I read it over, and I understand what you said. You just must not have understood my answer. Maybe you don't get sarcasm.

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