How do you subtly flirt with a guy (who is your roommate)?

[Anonymous]

I do have a crush on my flatmate. It's been a few months and it's not going away. So I kinda want to see if he might feel the same way but for obvious reasons I want to be careful. I don't want to move and we get along well now and I don't want to ruin that.
But at the same time I want him to get the message. So what are some things I can do that are innocent but so that he will get the message?

[MrMysteryMan]

Start walking around the place with skimpy clothing. Like slightly revealing or smaller than usual clothes. Like a skimpy style of pjs. Or a tighter/looser t-shirt and just panties as bottoms. Make sure you walk right in his eye, but not necessarily looking at him. Make it sort of flirty in your body movements. Bending over to reach for that milk in the back of the fridge. Or stretching for something in the upper cupboard so that your shirt lifts up and you can see most of your curves and some skin. Then, if you glance at him and he does the old, "quick look away before I get caught" kind of thing, sit next to him, like close to him and lay your legs over his lap. Or with one leg up crossed, but facing him so that your legs are slightly opened to him. Then just look at him and try to get his eyes onto yours. Once you have his attention into your eyes, it's pretty much game over. You just have to maybe then lean forward and tell him, "I have a crush on you and I really want to kiss you right now."

If this doesn't work or if this is a bit too forward for you, than do other instances of flirting with him. Maybe, one day, surprise him by making his lunch for him or cooking something special that he likes for supper. We love women that cook for us or feed us or care for us in these ways. Or ask to watch tv one night together and then offer to give him a nice massage, you know, to relieve his stress or whatever you like to dismiss it as. Start being more attentive and show more interest in his likes and what he does during the day. When a woman starts showing more interest in my situation or likes, I kind of get the feeling she wants to know more about me, which tells me, she likes me to some extent. Then say things like, you've noticed that he's new haircut is really looking good on him and that you like guys that have that type of hair or you would love a man that is... Then describe his look and character for said man, then ask if he ever thinks about how nice it would be if you guys would hang out more or do more together or what have you.

These things may or may not work, but you can't be as subtle toward a guy when you want to get our attention more intimately. We aren't very smart at picking up subtle hints as you women.

[TheHoneyBadger]

Before I start, I'd like to echo the opinion of some other responses in saying be careful when it comes to getting involved with a flatmate. I've been in the position of crushing on a female flatmate twice and almost started something with one who it was obviously mutual, but ended up not because the potential for a really uncomfortable situation if things end badly were to great.

That said, if you do go for it, my experience is that breaking the touch barrier and see if/how he reciprocates may be your best bet for finding out if he's interested. You could do something like cook a meal with him that will put you in close quarters, then make a point to put a hand on him as you pass him or stand close so your sides are against each other as you cook. If he's interested, he should start mirroring those actions. If not, he'll probably move away to break contact.

Another idea is to watch a movie with him and sit close to him on the couch. As the movie goes, lean close enough that your arms are touching, then rest your head on his shoulder. If he likes you, he'll probably put his arm around you or at least lean back into you to make more contact. If not, he'll either seem really uncomfortable, get up to do something and sit down further away from you, or do something like offer you a pillow.

In any case, I would suggest working off non-verbal cues at least until you're confident that there are mutual feelings to protect both of you from unnecessary awkwardness. It's a lot easier to brush off some like contact than a profession of feelings in moving on with a friendship. If something does happen between you two, at some point you should have a real conversation though, especially given the extra risks of a flat mate relationship.

[Asker]

Thank you!

And yes I've been trying to touch him more inncoently but I feel I get mixed signals I guess. He used to stand really close to me when we were like cooking or something. Which is how I got the idea that he likes me but he kinda stopped doing that. He does sometimes touch me also like on the back or waist, when he wouldn't have to. But not that often. And I'm not sure that counts but he offered to kill a spider the other day

[TheHoneyBadger]

If he used to but doesn't as much now, it's possible that he felt it wasn't being reciprocated (i. e. you weren't interested) and decided to lay off. The fact that he has a history of doing it though means that if you start doing it a little more overtly, he should as well if he is interested.
Killing a spider could well be an example of him wanting to do nice things for you. It's hardly conclusive, but does highlight another thing to look at, being if takes/makes opportunities to help you with things, even if you don't really need help.

[Lucylovedoll]

It is far more stupid than dating a coworker. You can go home when you date a coworker. You can actually go on dates and hook up and sleep over with a coworker. Dating a housemate involves removing the entire dating and learning section of a relationship. In a 3 person place too. That's a mine field you aren't going to walk away from unscathed.
If you really want to ignore such advice and try to date him, be straight up and ask him how he feels about you, and if he wants a relationship, one of you should move out. You set yourself up for failure otherwise. If he doesn't then you get a week or two of painfully awkwardness before you semi put it past you.

[Asker]

"Just tell him/her how you feel "
I think that saying is repeated as actual advice way too often. No! That's terrible advice. No one does this, but it's fucking weird. You don't just walk up to someone and tell them you like them. First of all, again it's super weird. Second of all you're putting the other person totally on the spot, possibly unexpected.

Generally speaking you flirt, see if you get something back. Slowly get closer, hang out together and eventually kiss, which should get the message across

[pogicraft]

That's how kids who create their own problems with drama do it

[pooper89]

Knock on his door in the evening/ night when he's laying in bed but still awake. Start talking to him and casually move to the bed. Start laying on the bed whilst still talking to him casually. Twirl a lock of your hair while doing so. You should also say something flirty

[emrecan]

Have u ever tried

[SarahsSummer]

Walk around with fewer clothes on and try to catch him looking. Do you currently walk around in bra, panties or towel?

[Asker]

Of course not I walk around in normal clothes. In a towel sometimes but it's a very short walk from the bathroom to my room

[SarahsSummer]

would you feel comfortable walking around in a tee and panties? that would certainly be a subtle flirt.

[kenworth]

well I've read the other replys to your question and must agree with the girl who told you to just go up to him your already house mates so you should already know his taste in food, music, style of clothes, are they what you like. when your already house mates. you can be more up front dont try to play games with al the stuff were a year later you give him a kiss know that if things dont work out you'll have a rea lly aw (ard time for a few weeks. if one of you dosnt move out. if he's a stand up guy and still declines your offer then he shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable you will mostly f=El that all on youtt own. but id say go upnto him and in a few shory sentenses tell him how you feel and plant a kiss right on his lips right thwn nefor he has a chance to answer. you will get your a`swer by the reply he gives your kiss

[Lopezz1999]

First, try reading my mytake on basic flirting tips for women. Him being your roomate may make it much easier for him to get the message, actually.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a36944-basic-flirtatious-techniques-you-may-use-on-men

[Asker]

I do 2 and 4 of those all the time.
And I'm wondering if he does 1. Because he does stare at me sometimes and when I stare back he just smiles at me. Which I think is awkward

[Lopezz1999]

Usually when a smile is done once you stare back at him, it's a sign of nervousness. Nervousness is a good sign though, since it can be seen as a sign that someone likes you.

[mystintri]

How is smiling nervous?

[NaultD]

Play like your a six year old would play. Play keep away and invade on personal possessions in a fun light way it does not really matter what you do. He should follow suit and before he knows it he'll be chasing you and having fun.

If there is ever a lull in the playing try not to feel awkward and just embrace the quite tension with a smile. That is also good time to cross the light touching barrier.

[JustCallMeLeon]

This sounds risky. Hmmmm. Anyways its your call.

Initiate contact. Touch him. Be close to him. When you two are talking, touch him. Make sute your shoulders are touching each other. Hold his hand. Place it on your leg and still hold it. He will definitely take the hint.

[Asker]

A few people said handholding. Don't you think that's a little straightforward for no occasion?

[JustCallMeLeon]

I think its the safest and clear choice. Talking and using verbal hints is not clear.

[enlightenmexo]

How about telling him? Or leave your panties or bra lying around the flat ;).

[emrecan]

Did u try that

[enlightenmexo]

If I had a crush on a guy I was living with, I'd tell him for sure. Then we could be fuck buddies 😂.

[emrecan]

What if he doesn't want you

[enlightenmexo]

Obviously that reply was written with confidence because I'm 110% sure that if I shared a space with a single guy, he'd want to have sex with me.

[emrecan]

That s a great answer but what makes you feel that

[razeoes]

strip poker, truth or dare, spin the bottle (just the two of you), getting naked competition, a treasure hunt where the prize is a blowjob. just normal stuff like that

[Proudsoul]

laugh at his jokes even if they are not funny. make small contact as in touch his shoulder or hand. if you make dinner and are serving serve him first. watch for his feelings for you.

[oddwaffle]

Ugh... I read the suggestions and they sum up to you throwing him the "Hey handsome, would you like a bite at the forbidden fruit?"

I don't know. This road looks risky. I wouldn't do it.

[krispt]

just curious... what if this doesn't play out like you think it will? haven't you thought that this may be a bad idea?

[Stuart-James]

leave your phone on the table in front room before you shower then walk to get it on your way out out the bath room, let the towel slip abit maybe a cheeky nip slip or something then walk to your room leave door open a crack ;)

[Asker]

ok something I've learned on this question.
Men are not very subtle. Like 90% of guys suggesting stripping or something otherwise desperately sexual

[Stuart-James]

if he looks or takes interest he's likes you if he doesn't take notice he isn't

[Jothomas123]

try punching him for fun.. if he punches u back then try grab him and push him in an intimate way... if he does the same to u he has smething towards u ;)

[Eddy8306]

slide a note under his door, do something out of the ordinary and just be yourself

[Asker]

I am being myself. And I think I get something back but if so it's very subtle so I just I want to get a bit clarity there

[abc3643]

Think twice before doing that.
I lived this and then the subsequent intense drama...

[Watermelon15]

It's likely to not end well - or with one of you moving. You have to keep that in mind

[oldoldold]

walk on on him showering naked?

let your towel drop as you walk through the lounge

ask for a massage

sit close during tv in something skimpy

[Asker]

come on gimme a serious suggestion. I can't walk in on someone in the shower. He has an en-suite so there's no reason for me to be there except being weird.
If he did that to me, I'd get a restraining order

[oldoldold]

lol the skimpy tv watching was serious

[oldoldold]

ask what he thinks about how you look a lot as you head out

[oldoldold]

share a meal with him a few times

[oldoldold]

watch a sports event or TV show

[jacquesvol]

Nothing propinx like propinquity. And showing some goodies by accident gives a good hint.

[Asker]

propinx?

[jacquesvol]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propinquity

[jacquesvol]

In Ian Fleming's 1957 James Bond novel Diamonds Are Forever, Felix Leiter tells Bond "Nothing propinks like propinquity."

[Ayush316]

ask Ur friends to start hinting him... or ask them to tease him with your name.. you'll get the answer by his reaction

[sweetbuddy]

just come out of the bathroom one day naked and just go oops and see what happens or play with your self and leave the door open a little so he can come in and help you out

[Anonymous]

Crushes usually last for 6 months, what a logical perspective would be to share a common activity like netflix, or make breakfast, ideas will vary depending on how intelligent the guy is too.

[zagor]

Bring home a bottle of wine some night and invite him to share it. And see where things go.