I'm 25, and still single... so lost in the world!! Am I being too desperate?

Question

I really don't know what's wrong with me! I'm 25 and still single.  It just doesn't make sense.  All the girl aquaitainces in college that know thought I have a girlfriend and can't believe I've never had one!  I've tried asking 3 girls out since september and all rejected me!  I'm cool, really muscular, girls say I'm attractive, but yet...?  I really don't understand..  I've tried everything, playing it smooth... like "how about letting me take you out for dinner sometime?"  That one I never got a reply back... Another time, I was being real direct and just told her "I like you a lot"... and that one didn't turn out good... and the third time I asked a girl out for lunch... she says yes, but never replies afterwards... WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!?!  Man, I'm like in tears here?!  Am I an ugly duckling or what?  Or cursed?  I'm soooooo lost... What can I do?!?!?  What else can I do?!?!

voodoochild · Accepted Answer

I'm just copy pasting this from a previous answer I gave...

This might sound strange or scary, but all men I that I know who are master of seduction have made nearly every mistake possible to be where they are at.

Myself for example, have been rejected in every possible way by at least a hundred women when I dedicated my life to becoming successful in dating and social situations in general.

I've fallen in the friendzone, I've been called a creep, loser, wannabe, try hard and lot's of other things.

And guess what? It was all worth it :D

I've gained so much experience and have been in so much similar situations that I know exactly what to do and when to a point where it looks as though I've been born with the natural ability to manipulate people to do what I want. But it took me nearly 2 years.

The problem is with allot of people who are not happy with their life and want self improvement is that they are afraid to actually do something about it. Like fat people and losing weight. Some actually go trough with it whilst others just bitch and wine about how it's impossible.

Oh btw I was a really skinny guy and it took me more then a year to gain 10 KG of pure muscle which took ALOT of effort but it's all worth it.

You just have to dedicate yourself to it, and you will need to accept help, learn theory, watch your successful friends in action and practice it yourself (get used to approaching strangers and getting rejected).

To point out your flaws; the main reason you don't attract women is because your not the top dog of the group. In every group there's always a leader who decides most of the things and initiates most activities called The Alpha Male.

You're just "that guy that hangs out with John" an "asessoire" of another person in the eyes of hot girls or in scientific terms: "A beta male"

Start reading and practicing.

The site where I started to get most information was link and most recently link They give good general information.

Also a very good free book that explains most of the basic stuff to get you on your way is link which I also co-wrote btw.

Also there's this 2005 book called "The Game" by neil strauss which details the 2 year journey of the author from loser to pootang abuser :P which is a good book for inspiration and insight, even though it's actually a novel.

You can also add me on voodoochild_tic@hotmail.com if you want some more guidance (but don't ask to much basic stuff lol...make sure you read up on the basics firsts)

EasyEC · Accepted Answer

Your looks are a gimmick and ultimately don't matter much. They correlate to an image of your personality. Masculine power is what is attractive and being muscular implies the possibility of this powerful personality. If you don't have that personality, they will lose attraction for you.

Get it through your head--women don't date other women. You are probably very good at initially connecting with women because you can relate on a more sensitive or emotional level. This is attractive at first because it suggests that you can communicate with them. If this is all you've got, however, then you are a woman that isn't as good at being a woman as other women.

Work on being a leader, making plans, and telling people what you want (rather than meekly asking if it's ok). Basically, be a noble jerk. Be just as direct and assertive while still having the girl's (and your) interests in mind.

Once again, women don't date other women. Be a man. Find a good role model--James Bond, Batman, someone. Do some researching and educate yourself.

30sGal · Accepted Answer

Awww - stop it. There is nothing wrong with you. You're just new to this. It's ok. How well do you know these girls? Are you just meeting them at bars? And here's the silly question...are you actually playing the game? I know I know it's silly but we all play - we have to. I think calling it a game is the wrong words though because I personally don't look at it like it's a bad thing.

Anyway - you need to be mysterious and confident. Take it slow. Don't ask the first girl out you talk to. Make contact then go away chat with other people then come back later after you've noticed her looking at you and ask for her number because you'd love to get to know her better over a nice dinner. Does she like Thai? Sound like you've done this before. I hope this helped.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Sometimes persistance helps- it shows the girl that you're really interested. Or try developing a friendship before asking her out.  You sound like a good guy you just haven't found that girl yet-she's out there

lolli · Accepted Answer

maybe be friends first, then see where it goes. and playfully flirt. see how the chicks take it

Atomizer · Answer

I sympathize; but I also know what one of your problems is: you've asked out three girls since September.

That's a bit like making three free-throws in basketball, missing all three, then walking away from the court and saying it's no use playing ball because you never score a basket.

I know it's not exactly the same -- if you miss a basket, you don't feel as if the ball rejected you. When a girl turns you down, it can sting.

But my point is, dating is a numbers game. And there are a lot of girls who won't want to date you. Don't take it personally, because there are a lot of girls you don't exactly want to date, either. That's okay. We're not all good matches for each other.

In a numbers game, you have to get your numbers up. You have to ask out a lot of girls. If you asked out three girls a week (rather than three girls in 6 months), you'd probably have scored several dates, and found a girl or two who were a possible good long-term match for you.

My second point is, that you need to fill most of your life with other activities and goals. If you're thinking a girlfriend will make you feel complete and happy, that's a mistake. I've been there. A girlfriend can enhance your happiness, but she can't make you happy. You must make yourself happy. Here's how: 70-80% of your energy should go to friends, hobbies, goals, career, schooling, and _exercise every day_. All those things will make you happy, confident, and will give you ambition in life. Girls like ambitious guys. Save 20-30% of your energy for talking to girls, for dating, and for time with a girlfriend when you find a good match.

Good luck!

Guy4Girls · Answer

Rejection is part of the game. It would be great if all girls said yes to all the guys and vice versa. The reality of it all is that dating equals courting. Dating is a way for two people to get to know each other better, but in order to get to dating you'll need to establish a relationship or friendship with the other person. Start by building a friendship or relationship with them first then you'll be able to get know them and know their likes and dislikes. Who knows, after getting to know them, their personality may not be as beautiful as their physical beauty.

It's also how you handle post rejection. If you don't follow up by being friendly to her after the rejection, then you have definitely lost. You need to continue to befriend these girls even it is just to be friends. You'll come off as confident and secure and strong enough to handle rejection in their eyes. You need to come off as if you have other options and her rejection is her loss.

I haven't been in the dating seen for 14 years, as I have been in a committed relationship for that period. The relationship is on the fence right now. And, I've had to brush up on body language, confidence, style, social status, and physical fitness. You should look into these things. It has gotten me back into the scene. The only problem that I'm having now is that I'm attracting women who are already committed or married. I'm looking to meet single women and not the bar type either. I know I'll hook up with someone so I'm not worried. The most important thing to work on is your confidence. How do you do that? Be noticeable. You need to stand out and also you have to be able to pick up signs that she's checking you out or flirting with you.

nonphixion2 · Answer

theres a lot of fish in the sea and maybe you just haven't met the right fish yet, lol. there's also a good chance your gonna get rejected... not every girl is gonna want to just go out with a guy they have never talked to before if that's the case. I bet if I went out and asked a bunch of girls right now there would be a lot who would reject me.. but who knows maybe there would be one who'd say yes. there's someone for everyone, and believe me I haven't thought that for a long time, but I believe its true. just be patient, and be yourself.

dasouthernicon · Answer

Dude, quit trippin... the ugly duckling became the swan in the end. plus ur 25, ya got plenty of time... My advice to you is to stop bending over backwards for these ladies and making it easy for them to reject you. Trust me, tharz too many guys who wished they were single at 25...  Stop trying so hard with women...

993099142 · Answer

My ex-boyfriend got rejected by 300 girls before he met one girl who was attracted to him... so there you go... he's 100x stronger then you. Suck it up and fight for what you want. I've rejected 20 guys in 2008 and I weigh 200 pounds.

Anonymous · Answer

I think the problem for guys is social media has given girls a false idea of the prefect man. Which is this guy who always goes to the gym only wares big brand clothing and has a good job and a nice car. Meaning any guy who is on a low paying job eto doesn't even get a second look on pof etc

AntonioVeteran · Answer

Buy how to be a 3% man. It's helping me. I am also to needy sometimes. Maybe that is what your doing?

GLENNBOB1 · Answer

Go on dating websites.

I'm 25, and still single... so lost in the world!! Am I being too desperate?

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I'm 25, and still single... so lost in the world!! Am I being too desperate?

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