On women's figure, is a big/'well-built' woman intimidating to you?

[sbkoenig]

As someone who's a bit of a tomboy, I enjoy sports and exercise a lot. I'm told that I have broad shoulders, I'm also taller and have a much larger shoe size than most of the women I know (My Mother calls me her 'Amazon woman'), and I've been told more than once that I could be a fitness model if I wanted to. I don't plan on bulking up at all, just staying athletic and toned.

Though I get compliments saying I'm beautiful fairly often, guys seem afraid to talk to me, and intimidated or put off when I try to strike up conversation, and I constantly have people staring and looking me up and down. One man, particularly scrawny and lanky, even had the gall to actually make a sarcastic remark that I 'looked like I could beat him up'. At the time, I chalked that up to a low self esteem, but naturally, it stuck with me and I started to over think it.

What do you think? Do men prefer small, soft little ladies? Do I just keep meeting men who don't think highly of themselves? I'm confused by the signals I'm getting from guys!

[Phoenix1991]

Most men prefer soft short girls because it makes them feel like they are in "control".

Example: My best friend is 5'7 and his girlfriend is about 5'8 , he got mad at her one time for wearing heels when they went on a date. When I asked him why, he simply said because I don't date girls who are taller than me.

Most men always want to feel like they are the strong and tall type in the relationship, it gives them a sense of pride, while I'm a bit different, I'm about 5'10 and I would date any girl, if she worked out and was even taller than me, I would still find her attractive if she felt the same way about me.

So it boils down to how mature the guy is with himself , so the older you get, the more likely you will be around more mature people.

[sbkoenig]

As pointed out by the others here, 'intimidating' may not have been the best choice of words, but it's the only one I could come up with since I was also wondering about the pride issue you're referring to. I would think men wouldn't particularly care for a girl who rivals his more powerful qualities that come with masculinity. It's too hard to make assumptions like that though since everyone varies so much regardless of sex and gender.

[Phoenix1991]

Thats usually the case, that's why men who aren't muscular would feel "less of a man" if the girl he sees a girl who is athletic/toned, and vice versa. Regardless of this, don't let it discourage you, the right man will understand you and still find you amazing given if you felt the same way about him.

[EnergyAZ]

An Amazon huh? I suggest you go find yourself a big athletic man and go have babies who grow up to play in the NFL!

Someone who values an active lifestyle the way you do won't be intimidated of you. And I think any intimidation you might be sensing has to do with the fact you are probably a lot more fit than the guys you are noticing and not that you are so jaw droppingly beautiful guys just loose their sh*t around you.

I personally prefer a petite woman, but there are plenty of men who want a statuesque woman too. Go bat eyelashes at fit guys in the gym, I don't think you will run into too many intimidated guys there.

[sbkoenig]

The funny part in all of this, as good as the advice sounds (seems like it'd make perfect sense, right? Fit people do go to the gym!) but the gym is actually one of the only places I go to, and is often where I meet these kinds of people. I guess I just have to be patient and wait for the right people to come along, eh?

[xHoneyxBeex]

While most men do prefer women who are smaller or on the more petite side, there are also many who would be into you as well. I don't like generalizing, there are men who prefer ALL types of women. But, just because a man isn't into your body type doesn't mean he "doesn't think highly of himself" as you put it. Everyone has a preference. Some guys will be into you and others won't. I just think you haven't met the right one yet.

[LauraMarx]

I once slept with a girl who was like, 6'3. It's something I'll never forget hehehe. I might be a little intimidated but I'm intimidated by everyone I'm very nervous. It's a good thing, though, it's good.

Don't worry about a**holes like that, anyhow. I get called a 'tranny' all the time. Yuck. It's whatever.

[JamielovesKU]

I often look at pics of fit woman and I'm like "Thats what I wanna look like when I grow up!"

[Anonymous]

Personally, I like tall girls (around my height anyway), and it doesn't matter if she is toned or not. As long as she isn't anorexic or just massive, I'm probably going to like it. You are pretty, so I don't know if that would be too much of a deterrent if you didn't have the specific body type a particular guy wanted.

The only things I can think of is that if you exercise a lot, most guys would think that they have to be in great shape to date you (probably accurate). If you are taller or bigger than them like the lanky guy you mentioned, they will avoid asking you out because women don't typically dig guys that are smaller than them. It's less about guys being intimidated than them being realists and knowing what's what. Also, it could be the tomboy part. Some like that, and others don't want that at all. And of course, if you're attractive, you're always going to have admirers that aren't confident enough to approach you all of a sudden.

[sbkoenig]

I appreciate hearing your input, I can definitely see how they might be concerned about my standards of fitness. As far as the tomboy part, I'm a confusing creature - I go out prancin' around in dresses and pretty lacy things and I curl my hair; it's more just behavior rather than how I look, and that's not something they can gather that easily, so luckily I don't think that's an issue.

[Anonymous]

I prefer smaller women, but also find stronger women attractive. Lots of men are intimidated to any woman they find attractive. I don't really think that more muscular women are more intimidating than any other beautiful woman.

Going by your picture you are way to pretty not to be getting approached. You sound like a lot of women that I know that get approached all the time and claim guys never ask them out. Likely there are guys that are interested in you but you quickly dismiss them and don't give them a second thought. The guys really hot girls want asking them out have so many choices of girls that the guys can be insanely picky. I think your standards may be unrealistic. Going by your picture I just don't see you not getting approached.

If you really are not being approached then it would have to be your body language is sending out the wrong message. If it is too defensive it could be telling men you don't want them to talk to you.

[Anonymous]

Me thinks the word "intimidating" gets thrown around a wee bit too much. It is been used way too loosely lately. Outside of the thing that makes you "intimidating" what traits and characteristics do you have that are attractive and make you a candidate for a good relationship. How do you show boys that you are more than this "intmidating" factor. Don't use one thing as a crutch. Guys look at thw whole picture it would take a cluster of things to be unappealing or "intimidating".

Most guys want a partner. Some guys like bigger girls and others like smaller girls. If you have enough things going on then your size won't be an issue too much.

[Theguyoverthere]

That intimidating comment was the first thing I thought when I saw this thread.

[TomGarand]

@sbkoenig Actually, speaking as a man who likes tomboys and women with muscle, you are kind of the ideal to me. Although I do prefer if the woman in question is straight-up muscular. Six-pack and good biceps, and all that.

My friend's sister is actually 5'10 and a half, and feminine, but she likes the fact that she's taller and stronger than me. She likes being the boss in relationships, and life in general.

Although I doubt you would be OK with a 5'6 man. How tall are you, anyway?

[Theguyoverthere]

The whole intimidating term get thrown around way too much and causes girls to have an inflated sense of who they are. If you were "intimidating" and you were talking to guys they wouldn't be put off by you, they'd wanna do anything and everything they can to have a chance with you and be super excited that you talked to them. I'm thinking that you might be getting a mannish build.

[aMuse]

Nope, not intimidating. I've never met a woman that scared me. You might want to find a word like unattractive or whatever, but intimidating probably isn't going to get you a reliable answer from men.

[Anonymous]

There's absolutely nothing intimidating about it, it's just not attractive. I don't want a muscular woman in bed, it's not sexy, so why should I date her if I'm not attracted to the way she looks?

But that's just my opinion. Keep on searching, somebody will fit.

[SaltandVinegar]

Some guys like small women but I need a woman with some meat lol

[sbkoenig]

Lanky little arms and legs with skinny barbie figures just seem too delicate looking to me, haha

[SaltandVinegar]

I love thick/muscular thighs that's my favorite

[Vandal]

Only if she's trying to & is capable of hurting/killing me.

[sbkoenig]

That's a pretty reasonable standard, haha!

[SkyrimAddict]

I am intimidated by any women I find attractive, so it has nothing to do with if she is well build or not. At least in my case.

[sbkoenig]

I've heard that before too. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I'm terribly over thinking things.

[SkyrimAddict]

Yeah, as I first learned when in middle school there are two types of guy with women. The ones who have trouble approaching women and are intimidated by them and then there are the guy's who just seem to be naturally born with the ability to talk to women.

[number10]

You sound so cool oh my gosh

[sbkoenig]

Girl, you know it! ;)

[joeybe]

I love fitness model/ifbb girls. I love when a girl is cut with muscle

[Anonymous]

Women intimidate me a lot. But it isn’t a bad thing

[oceansberlin]

I prefer petite woman and curvy body..

[sbkoenig]

If we're referring to more close/intimate relationships and I were to put myself in a guy's shoes for a moment, I can definitely understand how special it'd be for him, as a big guy, to have someone smaller that he can scoop up and hold, or cuddle and hug. I think that's so sweet.

[RaceAgainstMachine]

Tall women with broad shoulders are sexy as fuck!