I think my best friend likes my boyfriend!

She tells me he's cute all the time.. she notices everything he wears... she tells me how lucky I am... she talks to him, texts him.. she even likes to join us when we are out together (though my boyfriend hates it when she turns up on our dates) ..


but she would never admit that she likes him.. she just tells me "i like him so much.. but just as a friend of course".she asks me what he thinks about her or if he spoke something about her. she tells me every trial conversation she's had with my bf. I really like my best friend but her behavior is so weird these days.


Can I do something or just ignore it?

Updates:
Yeah I told my boyfriend and he laughed it off saying that he loves me and she's nothing to him.
 

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What Girls Said 22

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  • Selected as most helpful

    It sounds to me like she does like him. But, you should be nice about if you want her to stop and you don't want to lose her friendship. Maybe she just needs to find a guy of her own to like. The next time she says she likes him as a friend, or asks about him, or mentions him at all, jokingly say that it sounds like she's got a crush on your BF. Tell her she's got great taste in men and that one similar enough will come along that is single for her.


    Another possibility is that she's afraid of being passed over in favor of your boyfriend. Some people get into a relationship and abandon all of their friends. She may just be trying really hard to make sure she stays your friend. You could bring that up to her as well when she starts talking about your boyfriend or invites herself on your date. Just say, "hey this a date with Boyfriend and myself. Lets do something tomorrow, or let's have a girl's night next weekend." Let her know your friendship is important to you and that you will continue to make time for her and your BF.


    If her behavior bothers you then don't ignore it. It'll only continue to get on your nerves until you no longer want to be her friend, or until it builds up and you end up in an argument. Address in now so she knows and can adjust. Just be as nice about it as you can, she's your friend after all.

  • That exact thing happened to me. Only my Best friend wouldn't admit she texted him. And the only reason she had his number is because she stole it out of my phone. I even deleted it while she was sleeping but some how she got it back again. Once she even told him she wanted to lose her virginity to him and since that day he stopped texting her. But she's always facebooking him. I've even sat her down at least ten times and told her not to talk to him anymore but she always goes against my wishes. She tries to break us up all the time and that makes me so mad. And once when me and him broke up she kept trying to talk to him and told him not to stop being friends with her just because me and him had broken up. She's always rolling her eyes when I tell her that me and him are happy. I'm getting over being her friend, no one deserves the kind of crap she puts my boyfriend and I through. And honestly you shouldn't be friends with that girl because she's dumb.

  • my ex use to claim that my best friend of two years was ugly and that he had no interest.

    I gave this boy my virginity, my everything to have him a month later dump me over a text

    call me a hoe and a bitch then date my best friend of two years who claimed they had a brother sister relation ship.


    same situation happened to my mother with my dad,

    the maid of honor at there wedding and my moms best friend since her 20's (shes almost 50) dated my dad when my parents took a break.

  • That's all fine and well - but your friend isn't really your friend. Respect for your relationship isn't on her top priority list and don't think for a minute she hasn't thought about how to get ride of you. Stop talking to her about him or what you do and see if she has anything else to contribute to your friendship...If not you have your answer.

  • hmm well she doesn't really sound like a best friend to me. A best friend wants what's best for you and wants you to be happy. She should NEVER talk about how cute he is, etc. That's like breaking the Best Friend Code...lol Just tell her nicely how you feel about it..if she doesn't stop she's not a true friend

  • She obviously likes him.

    Personally, that's how I would act if I liked my friends boyfriend.

    I would never try to hurt them though or do it so obvious like

    texting him all the time. Jeez...

    I think I would confront your friend if you want the answer.

    That, or tell your boyfriend about it and see what he thinks.

    If she DOES like him nothing would happen seen as though

    you are going out with him and that he doesn't like her, right?

  • If it is bothering you, and it sounds like it is maybe you for a while you need to separate your friendship...spend time with your boyfriend away from her...and spend girly time with her. See how things go. She could be happy for you and maybe you are looking too much into the situation...I would worry if she did more than just compliment...try not to feel threatened by her behaviour, esp is you are secure in your relationship! there is no need, don't talk about her to your boyfriend, and if he ever mentions her you have no obligation to discuss her in full length..you could just brush off the issue and say she's ok - and if she asks about him don't divulge too much again say everything is good - SMILE and talk girly stuff...maybe what colour you want to paint your nails next!

  • ignore it. she might just be jealous

  • If you want to keep your friend just let her think what she wants, because you know the truth. Maybe she just wants to know if your boyfriend aproves of her, she's probably insecure. =/

    • I agree. I think she knows what she likes and is testing the water to she if she has a chance with someone like your boyfriend. I don't think that she wants your boyfriend other then to build up a little confidence. Maybe she hopes that he has a friend to hook her up with.

  • I swear you're the other me.


    The same exact thing happened to me. And I really didn't like it. I told my boyfriend that I wasn't comfterble with him talking to her, so he tryed to stop. But SHE wouldn't. So, I introduced her to my boyfriend's best friend. They had thing for a while, but it didn't last. I guess the thing that ended it all was that my boyfriend found out that she smoked, only once though. His grandfather is dying of lung cancer, so he totally flipped out on her. He was really, really mean to her. She stopped talking to her. Then after a little while she got over my boyfriend. Now my boyfriend and I can actually hang out at her house without her being clingy. Hope it works out for you!

  • i'd cut that bitch out of my life. she's pursuing him right in front of your face. she has no respect for your relationship or friendship. don't ignore it, end the friendship. she doesn't deserve the title. is your boyfriend texting her back?

  • Ask your boyfriend if he has a friend for her to start dating.

  • I would cut my best friend out of my life, as she shouldn't be trying to steal my boyfriend. DO NOT IGNORE IT.

  • hey I think you should tell ur boyfriend ... because you never know , maybe tomorrow you ll find him cheatin with her...

    • Haha ye ye very true

  • Your friend shouldn't do this.

    you should tell your friend (nicely) that what she's doing is upsetting you,make sure you spend time with her without your boyfriend she might be feeling left out. You could ask your boyfriend to tell her he doesn't like her but in the nicest possible way.



    good luck

  • I would say it is definitely obvious that this girl likes your boyfriend as more than a friend.As long as your friend doesn't act on it then there should be nothing to worry about.From what you wrote it sounds like your boyfriend doesn't see her as more than a friend- if he did then he would obviously like the idea of her turning up on dates.So the good news here is that I wouldn't worry too much about your boyfriend,however tell your friend you KNOW that she likes him,and its disrespectful to you when she gushes about him all the time,saying he's cute,and always wanting to intrude on your dates.I hope my advice helps,good luck :)

  • Tbh, you should just tell her how you feel about her doing all of this... Tell her to back off a little, maybe stop texting him so much and not to show up on your dates, Otherwise it could get worse and she'll try more if she does like him.

    You should definately ask her whether she likes him but also say that she has to be honest and that you won't have a go at her whatever the answer...

  • Ah my best friend is like that about my bf. I think the best thing to do is to ask her does she like him, but not in an accusatory way, more in an inviting way. It can be really fun. Make a joke out of it. Does she have anyone atm? Someone she's dating? If not, I know you'll feel a bit mean, but if you can get her someone to date, or whatever, it can be really fun...you can tease each other about your opposite boys! But have her know it's a joke, by sometimes telling her how really you want her to know you'd never act on her boy (that way, she'll feel obliged to promise you the same thing). You like your best friend, trust her. I'm sorry that it's frustrating you, but try not to make too big a thing out of it...just because you don't want to lose a special friend over a guy, no matter how amazing he is


    Hope this helps =)

  • Ok, the honest truth is she can't help who she likes. No one can. BUT, she should never act on it. She is being a little too open about how she feels about him, she doesn't even try to hide it. She is a terrible friend. She needs to stop texting him, and he needs to do his part by not texting her back. He should tell her that communicating with her makes him feel awkward and he doesn't want to ruin you guys' relationship. Since he hasn't, he is leading her on, and he apparently likes the attention from the both of you. You need to talk to both of them in person about this issue, just the three of you.

  • she's not a real friend... or if she is, she has no self-control. even if she couldn't help her feelings, her behavior is unacceptable and you shouldn't tolerate it anymore or it will only get worse. in fact, I wouldn't remain her friend at all, but I can see how that might b drastic...


    listen to the song Poison by Bel biv devoe... that is what ur friend is. if you are not careful, she will wind up doin the sneaky sneak with ur man. good sign tho that he gets annoyed when she shows up. still, a boy is a boy and can fall prey to the traps of a sneaky dangerous woman (aka ur "friend")

  • I am sorry but if your friend would have the least respect for you she would not text him that much and she would not turn up on your private dates!


    Of course she is your friend, but is she is really your friend, she should not do these thigns that obviously bother you! Even if she has a crush on him. He is with you so she should have to understand that she can't just tell you how gud he looks every time and come bother you on ur dates and text him that much.

    And your boyfriend shud not text her that much. Maybe he can giv it a slight turn. Maybe he can tell her that one of his friends likes her her and would like to meet her. If she says ok, then your friend just needs attention. If she says no, then she is trying to steal ur boyfriend and in that case she is NOT a friend. simple. Good luck

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  • She wants him and it will only be a matter of time before she starts distancing herself from you because you don't "deserve" or "get" him like she does. Not a best friend. Just be aware that it's going to play out like that.


    He should go out with her one on one and let the topic come up naturally. If he wants the relationship to work between you two he needs to nip this in the bud.

  • Even though she is your best friend, make it obvious that you and you boyfriend are very close and no one can come between you.


    For example, have some inside jokes which you and your boyfriend laugh at when three of you are together. If she asks what it is, just say that its nothing, just some private joke.


    At least once in a while when she wants to join you both, tell her that this time you both plan to go without her because there are some things both of you wanted to discuss.

  • You punch that Bitch! lol! say, "hands off Slut! he's mine!", hahahahahahahahahaha

  • have a threesome

  • Tell her to nock it off and she should back up.


    Its kinda like the new movie Obsessed

  • She sounds obsessed. Your boyfriend needs to be made aware of the problem right away. Tell him that your best friend is unhealthily obsessed over him and that you are concerned for her. Also, you need to tell her straight up that you don't appreciate her trying to make a move on a taken man. If she continues, you need to let her know that the friendship will come to an end. No true friend tries to break the love of another. If nothing else, introduce her to some decent guys so that she will leave your poor chap alone.

  • Your boyfriend is the person who can put a stop to this. He can tell her any conversation, text message etc. from her are unwanted and inappropriate. That doesn't mean the three of you can't be friends, but her role in the relationship is through you. Good luck!

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