Okay, I'll just start with this, any time I see a question on GirlsAskGuys about what a woman likes in a man, I always see the response, "confidence" and I am guilty of giving this response as well. I'm sure most of you know that women like a confident man. However, if I were a man, I would be extremely confused as to what exactly girls mean when they say they like confidence. So, I thought I would explain it and, hopefully, help some guys out.
Confidence is a certain attitude. A confident man is sure of himself. Confidence is not something a man can achieve simply by wearing the most expensive clothes, however, his confidence can be enhanced by putting a little extra effort into his appearance and accepting the fact that he may not be able to afford the nicest and most expensive wardrobe but he can still put himself together nicely and look pretty sharp. You do not have to be rich to have confidence in yourself.
There is a difference between confidence and cockiness. I think we can all agree that no one likes a "cocky" and arrogant man. Sometimes men who are missing real confidence will try to fake it which is very obvious and comes across as arrogance. They may have a very self-important and obnoxious attitude as well as men who like all of the attention to be on themselves. They feel the need to patronize women in order to give themselves a sense of superiority and importance. Any self-respecting woman will not be attracted to men like that. It is not necessary to be rude, offensive, or insensitive to assert yourself as confident. A confident man will be interested in talking to women about her, others, and general topics while a cocky man will typically only want to talk about himself. Women like "real" confidence. Men who are honest, trustworthy, ambitious, unselfish, career-oriented, have goals and things they are passionate about, and can hold a conversation with a woman are sexy and typically portray the most confidence in themselves.
Some ways to gain your inner-confidence:
1. Exercise. Men who work-out tend to feel better about themselves than men who don't from what I have noticed. Working-out and building up your body will, in turn, boost your confidence.
2. Think positive. Don't be afraid to approach a woman. It’s a common habit of some people to let previous failures and bad experiences wash through their mind before doing something important and that does nothing but hinder you. It will only set you back, so instead, forget about previous bad experiences and focus on the "here" and the "now". The past is the past and all you can do is move forward with yourself and keep going.
3. Don't compare yourself to others. I know it can be hard but comparing yourself to other people is a bad habit. You're an individual, everyone is not the same so comparing yourself (appearance, intelligence, sense of humor, etc.) to others will get you no where. In order to be confident you can't focus on what other people have that you don't have. You need to focus on YOUR positive traits and what you can bring to the table.
Body language is important!
1. Avoid keeping your hands in your pants pockets. Some people put their hands in their pockets when they're uncomfortable or unsure of themselves. And as long as you have your hands hidden in your pockets, that’s how other people will view you. Keeping your hands out in the open indicates confidence and shows people you have nothing to hide. Also, putting your hands in your pockets encourages slouching, which is not good as it also can indicate nervousness and reservation. A key to being confident is to be open with others and not reserved to yourself.
2. Don't fidget. Fidgeting is another sign of nervousness. A man who can't keep still gives off the impression that he is worried, tense, and not confident in himself. Some people talk with their hands and that's okay, just try to keep your hand gestures calm, under control, and not too all over the place.
4. Keep a good posture. Stand up straight and try to keep your shoulders back. Slouching is not very attractive and of course, this may be difficult for people who have been "slouchers" all of their lives but really, try to stand up straight. It is one of the most important means of communicating confidence.
5. Hold your head up high. This kind of goes back to point (4) of having a good posture. But it is equally important.
6. Smile. I know it's cliché but I promise, it makes nearly every man instantly more attractive.
So, in conclusion, confidence is an attitude that is based on being comfortable with who you are. Everyone has days where they don't like how they look or they hate their job but the key to real confidence is how you deal with it, and for a confident man, that means acting like a gentleman. Don't apologize to your date for not having the fanciest car or not having the most money, accept it and own it. You don't need to show off to portray confidence.
I do realize that I may have made some generalizations in this article, but it is all things that I have gathered from my own personal experiences and things I have noticed from confident men in real life. I hope you could make some sense of it and that it was helpful:)
Confidence is a certain attitude. A confident man is sure of himself. Confidence is not something a man can achieve simply by wearing the most expensive clothes, however, his confidence can be enhanced by putting a little extra effort into his appearance and accepting the fact that he may not be able to afford the nicest and most expensive wardrobe but he can still put himself together nicely and look pretty sharp. You do not have to be rich to have confidence in yourself.
There is a difference between confidence and cockiness. I think we can all agree that no one likes a "cocky" and arrogant man. Sometimes men who are missing real confidence will try to fake it which is very obvious and comes across as arrogance. They may have a very self-important and obnoxious attitude as well as men who like all of the attention to be on themselves. They feel the need to patronize women in order to give themselves a sense of superiority and importance. Any self-respecting woman will not be attracted to men like that. It is not necessary to be rude, offensive, or insensitive to assert yourself as confident. A confident man will be interested in talking to women about her, others, and general topics while a cocky man will typically only want to talk about himself. Women like "real" confidence. Men who are honest, trustworthy, ambitious, unselfish, career-oriented, have goals and things they are passionate about, and can hold a conversation with a woman are sexy and typically portray the most confidence in themselves.
Some ways to gain your inner-confidence:
2. Think positive. Don't be afraid to approach a woman. It’s a common habit of some people to let previous failures and bad experiences wash through their mind before doing something important and that does nothing but hinder you. It will only set you back, so instead, forget about previous bad experiences and focus on the "here" and the "now". The past is the past and all you can do is move forward with yourself and keep going.
3. Don't compare yourself to others. I know it can be hard but comparing yourself to other people is a bad habit. You're an individual, everyone is not the same so comparing yourself (appearance, intelligence, sense of humor, etc.) to others will get you no where. In order to be confident you can't focus on what other people have that you don't have. You need to focus on YOUR positive traits and what you can bring to the table.
Body language is important!
1. Avoid keeping your hands in your pants pockets. Some people put their hands in their pockets when they're uncomfortable or unsure of themselves. And as long as you have your hands hidden in your pockets, that’s how other people will view you. Keeping your hands out in the open indicates confidence and shows people you have nothing to hide. Also, putting your hands in your pockets encourages slouching, which is not good as it also can indicate nervousness and reservation. A key to being confident is to be open with others and not reserved to yourself.
2. Don't fidget. Fidgeting is another sign of nervousness. A man who can't keep still gives off the impression that he is worried, tense, and not confident in himself. Some people talk with their hands and that's okay, just try to keep your hand gestures calm, under control, and not too all over the place.
"Men who work-out tend to feel better about themselves"3. When talking to a woman, keep eye contact. Eye contact portrays confidence and shows that you aren't shy. It's definitely a turn-off to be talking to a man that isn't looking at you but rather keeps looking everywhere else in the room. I realize a lot of people do it out of nervousness, but it can also make the woman feel like you are not really interested in her.
4. Keep a good posture. Stand up straight and try to keep your shoulders back. Slouching is not very attractive and of course, this may be difficult for people who have been "slouchers" all of their lives but really, try to stand up straight. It is one of the most important means of communicating confidence.
5. Hold your head up high. This kind of goes back to point (4) of having a good posture. But it is equally important.
6. Smile. I know it's cliché but I promise, it makes nearly every man instantly more attractive.
So, in conclusion, confidence is an attitude that is based on being comfortable with who you are. Everyone has days where they don't like how they look or they hate their job but the key to real confidence is how you deal with it, and for a confident man, that means acting like a gentleman. Don't apologize to your date for not having the fanciest car or not having the most money, accept it and own it. You don't need to show off to portray confidence.
I do realize that I may have made some generalizations in this article, but it is all things that I have gathered from my own personal experiences and things I have noticed from confident men in real life. I hope you could make some sense of it and that it was helpful:)
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