Do I suddenly like him or is it something else?

[Anonymous]

I've met this guy about half a year ago and we clicked as friends or so I thought. Not long after he told me he liked me, but I kind of avoided talking about it because I liked him as a person and I was scared of hurting him, because I was getting real close with someone else and once I commit to someone, even if we're not together yet, I mean it.

So the time passed and he kept hinting and telling me how he cares about me. And even though I was sceptic about his feelings, because he's one of those with good looks, flirting with every girl, I felt obligated to tell him I am not interested, so I wouldn't lead him on. And he would stop for a while, unless he was drunk, and then it all started again. It messed with my head, because I was sure I wanted the first guy and I was all in, but I loved talking to this friend and we just got along so well, except when we had those huge fights. I told him I was not interested again and he was sort of really upset this time and I started to avoid him, because I know I wouldn't exactly want to be around someone I liked for a while, if they rejected me. Then we were cool again.

However, shit went down with this other guy recently and I've decided I was done and I it surprised me how I didn't really give a crap, because I had this friend by my side, even though I never told him I'm seeing someone, because I didn't see how it's his business. And so that asshole is out of the way and I suddenly realized that I think I like this friend, like really. He's so good to me and he looks at me like I am the prize.

So now I wonder if I actually like him or do I just like being liked and pursued by this cute guy, who's really really patient with me and my indecisivness. I just want to be sure, before I hurt him. So, thoughts? What do I do?

Updates

+1 y

by the way, me and the first guy were never serious. In time, I figured I don't want him, because he's a pig and that I actually like this friend romantically. Things are moving forward with him now, we text daily and we're planing on going out soon, since I was away for a while. When I saw him today after three weeks... I just wanted to hug and kiss him. I'm pretty sure I like him a lot and I want to see where things go. Thanks for the advice everyone.

[GorgeousVixen95]

Oh my god, I cannot tell u how familiar that sounds! Lol. I just went they the exact same thing, except the guys were best friends, they hate each other now to say the least and say it has nothing to do with me.

I am actually with the friend, we've been dating for 5 months, it's surprisingly pretty serious, and I am in love with him. But I still have feelings for the first guy, but would never leave my man for him.

At first, I also thought I just liked the attention from this new guy. EspecIlly after I got in a fight with the first and a bunch of bullshit went down. It was awesome to just have this guy doing so much for me, and I liked it so much I started staying over at his house and we hung out 24/7. Well the more I was with him, the more I started caring about him. The more I got to know him, the more attractive he grew. He was a better match for me than the first! Not to mention he is a better guy overall. I really think he is the one :)

When I first met him, I didn't even think he was that cute. I thought he was chill and maybe a good friend, but that's it. I couldn't see him as someone I would be with at all, but now I am in love with him. I don't know how that happened.

Anywho, my advice to u, get to know this other guy. If it doesn't work, it wasn't meant to be. And hey if it's over with the other dude, even for just the time being, why not? He sounds like a good guy who really likes you. Hey at worst, it doesn't work out and you get a couple free meals or movies out of it lol. Besides the first guy would've asked u out by now if something was going to happen.

[Kalinda]

First of all, It doesn't make sense to avoid him bc he liked you bc you think he wanted space. That's HIS choice not yours. I think you avoided him bc you felt weird not bc you thiight he felt weird.

Anyhow you could try dating him snd if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out. Thays life people date snd sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. You guys wint really be friends till he gets a gf and then he probably will stop talking to you anyhow bc it would conflict with his feelings for her. It's unlikely you guys will be friends so date him or move on if you really don't want to hurt him... Thiigh I think you're stalling bc you know if it doesn't work he moves in snd you don't get the attention anymore.

Anyhow Id date ir move on but Id check in and see how he felt about things first. It's the respectful thing to do.

[ticklytickles]

You might like him or you may be looking to move on sooner than you may be actually ready too. Also remember that going futher with your friend will mostly likely change things between you for better or for worse. It's a risk you may be willing to take to stay closer by his side or it may ruin your relationship forever. Put a lot of thought into it because no one on GirlsAskGuys can really tell you if it's better to go for him or not.

[MoshingExec]

Well, keeping him as a real friend seems like a no go. There will always be friction. So date him or end the friendship. He clearly wants to get in your pants and he will still want to in 5 years if you are just friends.

Tell him how you feel and that you are conflicted. Tell him you will date him casually while you date other guys casually and figure it all out. If, after a few months, other guys don't seem to do it for you then go all in with the friend. Just be open and honest since your hurting him seems to be your biggest concern. That way he can make the decision as to whether he can handle the "hurt" if it comes to that.

[RichHomieGeorge]

I think he genuinely cares for you (when he still talks about you when drunk, putting up with you kinda pushing him away but still being persistent, etc), even players can find someone they really like. I think you should go for it but it comes down to how you feel, but I personally would in that circumstance

Good luck :)

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

It sounds more like you like being chased and pursued by him and maybe you're kind of rebounding? I would wait a bit to say anything. Start hanging out with him more and stuff and spend time with him before you tell him you're into him. You want to make sure you're sure

[Aprilinparis]

Really good advice but can she ever really be sure

[Kiwifun]

How can she hang out with him if he won't even talk to her through text?

[bubble_tea]

"because I had this friend by my side, even though I never told him I'm seeing someone, because I didn't see how it's his business"

This is not how friendship works.
He sounds more the only runner-up when things don't work with the winner. You don't like him, you just like his attention.

[Musicnote]

I hate that feeling. I'm the same way. The best advice that I can give you is that if he really truly care about you and he keeps fighting against you pushing him away. He's a keeper. I think you should give him a chance. You never know he may be the one

[pedro28]

I love this! Reminds me of the movie Hitch "

[Musicnote]

Is that a movie? Hahah

[1GuyOpinion]

If I were him I would not go for it. I don't want to be some rebound guys after your relationship doesn't work.

But hey , go for it. It your choice. If he have no self-respect, he would definitely crawl back!

[labellaprincesa]

guys and their ego - nobody wants insecure guys. Everyone makes a mistake.

lol, no self-respect? here you see how girls and guys opinions differ...
if he takes her back, it has nothing to do with his lack of self-respect. i d even go so far to say that he is a self-confident guy, because he overcomes the fear of being rejected again...

grow up

[1GuyOpinion]

Lol the Asker not even sure if she like him yet. If she go for it and then later regret it and decide to broke up with him, who will be more hurt? It the poor guy again.

No need to attack me and telling me to "grow up". I'm simply offering what I think.

[Anonymous]

yep, you kinda screwed up, it's ok to be a little cautious but remember, you dated to the guy who screwed you over and not him! so you may have made a mistake, you can tell him but don't be surprised if he says no

[Anonymous]

This might sounds really really dumb but do I know you?
Do you mind if I ask some questions to find out as this does sound strangely similar to a close friend of mine because if so, I may be able to help.
To narrow it down, are you British?

[Asker]

I'm not British.:D

[Opinion Owner]

Doesn't matter then :D
I am not too sure, just give it some time to see how you feel about him, spending some time together etc see if there's anything more there.

[Johnnyjay]

how do we know if you like him more then you do. sounds llike you like him

[Royartin]

Have a go with him and find out for sure... that's all I can say. Good luck :)

[badger25]

it sounds like you genuinely like him give it a shot

[JacksOrJax]

Wait it out before you decide, don't make decisions off emotions. ( aka you feeling hurt)

[PotatoeHead]

Test the waters a bit. See if both guys are really for you give them a test. for example tell the your car broke down and you need help see if they'd drop what they're doing for you right away. But follow your heart

[Anonymous]

If you like the guy give it shot it all depends on how you feel about things

[TheWorldEndsWithYou]

Never rebound, give yourself some time. Especially if your feelings were genuine for the man you were once with.

[Eric644]

Ask him out

[Eric644]

You have nothing to lose

[rocksongwriter]

Go for it.