Girls, if a guy gets taller and more muscular, would you take him seriously as a guy?

[Anonymous]

I had several female friends up until junior year of high school. We stopped hanging out because most of them got boyfriends and I couldn't be around because I was a guy. I had crushes on all of them, which is how our friendships began. I was never more than a friend with any of them, though, largely because I was small and not considered masculine enough for any of them to date. One friend even told me when I was complaining about not having a girlfriend that I needed to find a tiny girl because most girls want to be with bigger guys.

I had a growth spurt my senior year of high school after I had moved to private school and have even kept growing after HS. I took a year away from school after graduation to work and figure out my future, and during this time I've been eating a lot and lifting weights. I'm now right at 6 feet tall and weigh almost 200 pounds, which is 5 inches and about 60 pounds bigger than I was before. Two of my female friends are staying with their parents during the summer, and I've FBed them and told them I'd like to meet up. Is it possible they'll see me differently now that I'm bigger?

[whattothink]

It's not just looks (though even today I remember the guys that filled out in high school over the summer and still get a bit flustered). I mean if you aren't compatible with someone it's never gonna work. Likewise if you are not their type, it may not work. Best thing to do is see how it all plays oht, but don't force anything.

[Asker]

How would I know if they didn't consider me their type? If a girl and a guy are friends and like each other, the only thing to keep them apart is the physical, right?

[whattothink]

It depends. Just because you are friends does not mean you are compatible romantically. Take my friends with benefits and I. We are super good friends, love each other deeply, obviously attracted in some fashion, yet we would NEVER be a good couple romantically. We have none of the same ideas or goals in life. We would be miserable, so we keep the status quo.
But other than whether you would be compatible, does somewhat depend on the physical. People like what they like, and who knows why. But if you aren't it, you can't force them to find you attractive. Once again concentrate on the friendship and see if anything happens. It may. It may not. But be OK with whatever the outcome is.

[Asker]

That's hard for guys like me who've always been the friend watching our crushes get with other guys. I do respect my friends, i just want more. thanks.

[whattothink]

Unfortunately that is a tale as old as time, that EVERYONE, regardless of who you are deals with at least one person in your life, that you want and they don't want you.

[ladyly]

Ha, no I wouldn't. There are many guys who have muscles but are empty inside or still carry an aura of low self esteem. It's enough to just be toned and tall, with a great deal of confidence. But muscles and any kind of haughtiness, arrogance, or insecurity is not attractive in the slightest.

[Asker]

You're assuming that just because someone improves his physical appearance he's an empty suit. A lot of guys like me have things going for us like intelligence or passion for our careers, but we can't get the time of day from girls because of how we look. So we work hard to improve our looks in hopes of someday having a date and suddenly we're shallow? No, that's not true at all, and it's a horrible trait to ascribe to someone who's simply trying to improve his life.

[ladyly]

No, I assume that guys who take selfies of their shirtless bods and constantly draw attention to their physique are shallow. If you develop yourself but don't make a big deal of advertising it, the girl will take note of both your humility, confidence, modesty, and internal value. But guys who constantly make a big deal of working out do it in such a way that the girl can only assume that his body is his most valuable asset.

[Asker]

I've never taken a "selfie" and would never want to, given that I think they're a bit douche-y and narcissistic. None of this is me trying to become some player. It's more like an attempt just to get in the game after years of being completely overlooked because I was barely bigger than the girls I was around. It's soul-crushing to have girls you like pat you on the head like you're their kid brother.

[ladyly]

Listen, you're taking my replies too personally. Nobody is accusing you of being shallow, superficial, or narcissistic. Chill. All I'm saying is if you think muscles will help you to get girls, you're wrong. None of the members of one direction are muscular. Yet they get all of the girls.

[Asker]

Famous guys don't count, though. They're an extreme outlier because they're famous, and girls will go for the fattest, nastiest, douche-iest guys as long as they're famous. As a regular guy, I have to do something to get noticed. Girls don't notice small guys, they just don't. Girls always seem to prefer the bigger guys. But I guess I'm being stupid by even asking this question because I already know what's going on.

[ladyly]

bye now.

[Bards]

Lolo no.
Its how you conduct yourself.

[Asker]

That's not entirely true at all. If it were true, I would have dated one of these girls when I was smaller.

[Bards]

Hmm can't see it.
Idc how buff and big a guy is; they can be loser babies ttoo

[Asker]

I was so small that girls disqualified me automatically. That means that it counts.

[Bards]

That means you werent their type

[Anonymous]

That is certainly a plus.