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32Opinion
Its called "cat string theory."
If you wave a piece of string in front of yoru cats face then pull it away, your cat is mesmerized by it. However, if you actually give the cat the string, she sniffs it once then looks away.
Humans are like the cat, we like the shiny thing that is just out of our reach, we like to pursue, we are tantalized by what retreats from us when we reach for it.
In this case, you are the string, the girl is the cat. Next time, maybe let her enjoy chasing you, let her wonder, unsure if she can get you or not for a little while.
Just a thought.
And byw, it does not sound like things went very far between you 2, so I would not say there is much lost in this case, just move on to another girl, then you'll forget all about miss "she stood too close to me, then she didn't stand close to me anymore."
Thats my 2 cents.
if you did something wrong to her, to make her all of a sudden hate you, her reaction would be to get revenge. she'd try to get you jealous and make you feel like you did the wrong thing, and regret what you did to her. she'd want an apology. but in some cases deep down inside her heart she still likes you. to get a guy jealous or to stop liking me, I'd say I already have a boyfriend. some girls just say yes then like break up a few hours later just so tht she wouldn't have to say no to your face.
or maybe she wants you to come to her. I normally like it when boys make the first move. but this may sometimes offend a girl.
and try to gett to know her more. gett her to open up to you. and by the way, do leave the conversation hanging. always have a topic. otherwise it'll be very awkward.
and if all els fails, just ask her. why would she hate you? if you're too scared/embarrassed then ask her bestfriend, she'd more then likely tell her everything.
I didn't do anything wrong other than try to be nice, which probably came off as way too strong and direct as some girls here have pointed out.
They are called cock-teasers bro. You think you were the only one they were giving all that attention to? You think you were the only one they were "crazy" about?
Reality is that most girls do this kind of thing until their late 30's, when they no longer look good enough to cock-tease.
And rest assured, while a good guy like you is left wondering wtf just happened, she is surely doing nasty dirty things with the bad-boy tatoo'd motorcyclist down the road. Put your money on it. That's the dating game today. That's how it works. As a decent guy you have NO chips at the poker table, you are up the creek without a paddle.
I hear you. Point taken.
Ok i use to be the bad boy but then became man. I dated a lot of women and banged a lot as well. My conclusion is they like the bad boy for sex, and the soft manipulated nerd for a boyfriend. Just look around you and see it
I had a nearly identical situation happen to me. She was interested no doubt, then ignored me and told me she got back together with her bf. She also did something really mean to me which I won't get into here, but lets just say she apologized 5 months too late and after I reminded her...needless to say, she's an asshole and even though I told her I want to remain friend, I don't consider her one. As much as I liked her I know I can never feel the same way about her since she is an ass. I would say you can try to be friends, but like some of the other guys have said, don't fool yourself. It is vastly more probable that nothing will happen. For whatever reason girls like this just don't get it, and they deserve not to get any of you!
omg be TOTALLY f***ing blunt with her. lol I'm very serious.
she doesn't know if your totally into her or she could see you flirting with other woman. even if your NOT flirting with other woman, she could take it that way. (woman have different view points remember XD) she doesn't wanna get hurt. its possible she wants a serious relationship (if she thinks your flirting with other woman it could very possibly give her the thought you would cheat on her)
go up to her, tell her your very into her. don't be freakish about it. don't tell her that you've been watching her all week or something. tell her she's a very beautiful woman. that should get to her :) SHOW her that you'r serious about really liking her and show her that she has no reason to be scared for any reason. be confident in yourself, but don't be too cocky.
ohh ... and have game :)
So you say put it all on the line? Um, she told me she has a boyfriend. Yet, I believe that was a bullsh*t line. I mean what girl with a boyfriend then tries to get your attention days later after they tell you they're not available? Anyway, I agree with you about being serious. If I tell her she's beautiful that can't get me in trouble... I've never heard a guy getting arrested for telling a woman she's beautiful. As for "game" - I got none. Then again what do I have to lose at this point?
Like you just said yourself .. what do you got to lose? :)
I've noticed all of the guys say move on... some girls have said that, too. However, lots of girls have said to try again. I'm a sucker for romance. I believe, dammit! I believe!!! If I do get rejected again, all of you women will have to go beat this girl up for me : )
Tell her you're into her? LOLOL and he should have game?
Well, excuse me dipsh*t girl, but when you reveal your feelings to the girl you want, it's GAME OVER.
The whole game lies in 'does he like me or not?'
OP - this is what you do - act like you don't care. Show some interest in her, but then act disinterested. Afterall, if this chick doesn't make the cut, you got plenty of others to try out.
Phoenix - I think shes-a-lady (see below) nailed it. I came off like a player. I think I just need to say hi to her again and take it from there.
Sounds good - talk to her and make good conversation. Now, if you're teasing her and she takes it seriously, then enlighten her on your sarcastic nature. Girls can't tell whether you're being for real or not, so if they get a feel for you first they'll eventually open up and realize you're messing around.
The whole 'player' term - take it as a compliment. If we don't play the game, then girls will figure us out easily and get bored fast.
Like I mentioned before, things have gotten a bit odd at this place. I'm prepared to move on, but not completely shutting the door on this.
Lmfao phoenix. take the whole player term as a compliment? all tha f***ing girls ik f***ing hate players. if you gonna b a playa ... you mite as well f***ing say "imma cheat on you bitch I don't really love you"
u seriously wanna give her that f***ing impression?
how many gurls have you got phoenix? huh ... how many hav you gotten bein a total jack ass with his d*** up his own ass.
and 4 tha record phoenix ... nahh wen you reveal ur feelings 2 a gurl ... it shows that you really genuinally like her.
And don't be sarcastic. nobody likes a sarcastic asshole. who are you gonna believe?? a dipsh*t man ... or a WOMAN.
if you act like a dipsh*t airhead she's gonna leave.
i'm not sure why she would tell you she has a boyfriend if she really doesn't. she is probably shy and doesn't know how to talk to you. she might feel like she has to act uninterested to make you more interested--i've felt like that with guys before. she might think if she acts too interested in you you'll be scared off and so she avoids you--thinking she's playing it safe.
I'm trying to base it off of what I'd do and how I think when it comes to liking someone I don't really know--since I'm pretty shy and you mentioned she could be shy as well.
My guess is she wants you to like her but thinks if she initiates anything you'll see her as an annoyance. the only thing I don't get is the boyfriend part.
If a girl tells a guy she has a boyfriend when she doesn't have a boyfriend, it's a polite way in saying "I'm not interested you". That's fine. Just don't pull me in then push me away like that. That ain't cool.
My grammar sucks! "not interested in you"
Girls screw with your heads. boys screw with our heads. we all screw with each others heads.
That's the problem - too much screwing going on. Wait. That's supposed to be a good thing? Seriously, if people would just open up to each other instead of guessing what the other is thinking, it would save everyone a ton of time and energy.
my crushs friend told me she has a boyfriend and that was a lie now my crush talks louder and tried to make me jealous but i can see that she likes me
Maybe she didn't want the move to be made.
Classic signs of a guy with a crush: assume the girl is incredibly into you when in reality maybe she was just being nice and wanted to be friends.
I know I don't avoid someone if I'm into them. I avoid them if I know they're into me and I'm not into them.
When a girl wants to be friends she will talk to you. Not stare at you, and when you catch them they quickly turn away, blush or look down at the ground. Or am I wrong here?
Hmm. Well you could be right. But I don't see why she would be acting that way if you made a move, which is why I assumed that it could just be in your head.
Perhaps she wasn't being nice, wanted you to like her, just because she enjoys the attention and wanted an ego boost from a cute guy?
That would explain her staring at you then quickly looking away, yet ignoring you after you asked her out, she said she had a boyfriend, then you refused to give her attention.
If she has a boyfriend, why then the next time you see me try to get my attention? Wouldn't you want to avoid me? Doesn't make sense to me.
Not necessarily. Like I said, she's just looking for that added attention. Or maybe she's having problems with her boyfriend. Maybe both.
When you didn't give her the attention she wanted to continue to have even after she told you she had a boyfriend, she decided to ignore you.
This is tough as what you say makes sense, but also what Shes-A-Lady writes makes sense to... I mean if she actually does have a boyfriend, that's cool as then I wouldn't be interested in someone who needs to mess with other people for attention. I'm just not sure if she's what you says she is or what Shes-A-Lady says she is...
Um.. I have a feeling that she was into you at some point and she either
A) lost interest
or
B) Realized she was being too obvious so now she's embarrassed
It's most likely that she moved on, if she gives you no responses then you might want to move on too(who knows, this might even help the situation! :) Sorry if I'm being harsh
No, not harsh at all. You're right. I think I waited too long to say something, she moved on thinking I never had interest. Now she knows I have interest and either I was too late, or she's embarrassed and decided to forget about it. Who knows... but I am going to leave it alone and if a good opportunity comes up to speak to her, I will.
(:
say something about it to her like "hey, how are you? good...blah blah.. so what's up? we haven't talked in a while.. it seemed like things were going nicely, I feel like you might have felt the same way "
something along those lines, don't be over bearing and sound possessive but be bold. girls dig guys with balls
I already made the move... she knows I like her. I am thinking about saying something to her again but it can't be forced. She has to revert to her old behavior and make herself available to me.
She doesn't have to do anything man, keep that in mind. all you can do now is not dwell on it, move on with living life and having fun and if she see's you living it up than who knows maybe she'll come around. if not that that's her problem and at least you tried, stay classy
This guy has the right idea. Balls = you get the woman.
Really? And doesn't it take "Balls" to go up to a woman you've never spoken to before in your life and ask her out? I at least thought so...
It definitely does. so many guys are afraid to approach girls, if they shut you down which most times they will...just smile and say 'no problem, it was nice to meet you' shake their hand and walk away
I think because you made the move that it is awkward for her. I was like that when a boy that was my friend asked me out and I rejected him, even though I feel terrible about it now. It was really uncomfortable with him for a little while. I would think that you should tell her exactly what's wrong, because we don't take little hints lightly and it could be the only way to get through to her. Best wishes!
"we don't take little hints lightly"...yet girls flirt with subtle hints and body language. reason #5 million why girls ARE confusing lol
True.
Well some of us are emotional roller coasters and we go through ups and downs but on the fllp side we play hard to keep you interested. Its about the chase, I know I start fights (small ones) just to see if my guy is still interested and will put an effort into making sure I'm happy. Its just a test...dont worry...we don't mean too (smirk)
Are men lab rats to you women? Tests? Hard to get can only go on for so long before you turn the guy completely away.
We girl's have... a really good imagination, and we always make the end of the world out of something really small, unlike you. Or sometimes trying to play hard-to-get, without a good effect though. But trust me - we always end up as the ones that cries their heart out at the end - sometimes without any good reason in fact. It's strange - the way we are so complicated while you boys attend to keep it so simple - irony x)
Reply on the "What I would like to know from girls" - I did that couple of times when I didn't like the guy, but didn't want to hurt him or anything, but never when I actually liked the guy - that is more the hard-to-get game that I find really boring.
My tip - try to win the girl - that is the thing that she really want's - someone to fight for her!
Hard to fight for someone when they give you the impression one day they want nothing to do with you, but then the next day make it seem they want your attention.
Hmm... maybe the girl is changing her mind or something... you have to impress her I guess... somehow - show her that you care (if you do, or if you want her to think that you do :P)
Right now, it's kinda like hide-and-go-seek. I go do my thing and she does hers but then I catch her looking at me with a stern look on her face. Not sure if its wishes of death or wanting me to say hi.
Well, you could always try finding out that by saying hi I guess :)
As a girl I tend to act like that a lot of times.I think this is a kind of defence in case the boy is not so much into us. WE are insecure and we don't want to show that we are crazy for you and then feel the rejection. I think the best way to get rid of that is show the girl that you like her and you are not there just to have fun. If you make her feel secure about your feelings then she'll open herself to you.Go sit next to her and ask her things that show your interest.like "You look a bit down. What happened? How can I fix this?" or "I want to see your smile. Could you do me that favor?" or just hug her and tell her that you like her/
I like that - "hug her" ... I can see myself right now dropping the dumbbell, walking over and giving her a big 'ole hug as she's doing the bench press. I think that will go over well?
I read all the comments and there was a wealth of wisdom here. Unfortunately you are way in your head. That's why she is avoiding you. You need to stop thinking what people think of you and live your life the way you want to and not how people are going to respond to it.
I agree. My curiosity got the best of me here. I think everyone here could be right one way or another. I pretty much got what I needed - lots of opinions. Enough to tell me I was wrong in how I approached her and waiting much too long to say something. I'm happy I went out of my way to say something, but left feeling like something isn't right... regardless, time to move on!
Well if you got anything right out of this, its is called experience. Awesome attitude! Cheers!
It's because you probably flirted with her one day and then didn't f*** her, then the next day she thinks "oh f*** I shouldnt have been so horny with him, what a slut I am, next time I'm putting my guards up." In the mood the moment its okay, but when she's you didn't f*** her, she thinks it was all her fault for acting so sexy with u, ya know. She thinks you don't like her. But if ya f***ed her, then its a whole different story, where she will fall in love with you haha!
Next time I see her, I will bang her. Thanks!
There is three options
1) You either look really desperate and didn't take it slowly.
2) You didn't seem interested enough and she though you were not interested on her, so she got mad at you and just left, or something really weird to scare her off
3) She is incredibly shy.
I will say number 3 though, rational people will talk to you no matter what. I am almost sure she is not like that with other people, and if she is she is no good for you.
I say a combo of both 2 and 3...
Well god know if you got your answer. But what I would say is that I do similar things with a guy I really like and I do it because I'm sure he does not like me and so staying away makes it easier to not be so into the guy. The difference being I am sure he doesn't like me. Yet you say you know her so maybe she assumes you can't like her. And then of course maybe she is playing a "game" like she is always there and then she's gone you'd notice her and think about her which is exactly what your doing.
uhhhh...
first off, how can you be 30-35 and you don't already know that all women are freaking crazy? Like, almost certifiable? practically normal...
my old lady (20+ years now...) kind of "stalked me".
found out later, she was SO shy and inexperienced, she clammed up and didn't know what to say...
or she might be an attention whore I'm not sure but I might have to see how she is in real life to really determine but other then that let laugh for a sec check out this link rolfmao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DjIg_IXyYsSo I've been IN LOVE with a guy for a couple of years and he used to be my friend b4 but a lot stuff happened and I don't know how he feels so I jsut totally ignore him and act liek he doesn't even exsist and when he looks at me I just stare and break away really fast and I jsut wish he was upfront about how he felt because that would ake my life a lot easier!