Guys like a challenge.. What exactly does that mean?

Do guys want girls to act aloof even if they are interested? but then most guys I talk to say they hate games... so what exactly is the "challenge" that you are talking about?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Great Question...

    And one that I think girls misunderstand alot.

    The challenge that guys want is two fold. First, is that guys want a girl that they feel 99% of guys couldn't get. The guy wants to feel special for getting something that none of his friends could get.

    Think about some of the activities guys do for leisure. Sports - competition trying to be number, hunting - thrill of the chase trying to get the best, fishing - same as hunting, Video Games - always playing to be the best.

    Guys will hang a deer head on their wall, and will proudly display pictures of trophy fish they've caught because they know not just anyone can get a catch like that.

    Its the same with girls...

    Now there are two different challenges guys have with girls.

    Those girls that are really hott and go out 4 times a week, and have 2,000 photos on facebook are the kind of girls that a guy wants to Sleep with, just to say, Yeah I got that! But guys DO NOT want to be in any kind of a relationship with this type of girl, they just want to conquer her sexually. this isn't a good type of challenge to strive for as a girl because you will get used and abused.

    Think about it... All those girls that are out EVERY weekend, ARE ALWAYS SINGLE! THere is a reason for that.

    The other challenge, is for your naturally pretty, wear no makeup and still be cute, girl next door kind of chick. This is the girl who is down to earth, doesn't sleep around, respects herself, and has morals. These are the types of girls that guys want the challenge of getting them to be their girlfriend. Because as a guy, we know these girls don't fall for every player that comes along spitting game. We know she chose us because of our personality, and not many guys could her.

    So those two examples are the first type of challenge. The challenge of conquering a hot chick or getting a good girlfriend.

    Guys want to feel they are special and they got something no one else could have.

    I had a little house party once and we had about 6 guys and 5 girls there. One girl was new to the group and was looking really attractive. A few of the guys were talking about her, and saying they were interested in her. It was like a competition, who could get the new pretty girl.

    Well this girl straight up walks up to four of us. And I'm going to be kind blunt here, I just broke up with my Boyfriend of two years and I'm looking to get some action. Anyone down?

    Now you would think there would be a fight of all four us saying, hell yeah, who doesn't want easy action from an attractive girl.

    Not a single guy there wanted anything to do with her after that comment. WHY?

    Because she didn't make any guy feel like he won, she didn't care who it was, so no guy wanted her.

    The same is true for relationships

    Some girls think. God I just want a BF

    The right girl thinks, "I really want to meet a great guy!"

    Big difference in mindset... Guys will want to compete for the second!



    • I think my friend has that problem, when she gets asked out, it's because the guy wants a one-night stand...She doesn't exactly dress conservatively, and I've told her that and the way she converses with people gives off the wrong impression...

    • Show All
    • Thanks! And yeah a lot of girls fall into the one-night stand rut or the one date and never hear from him again routine because they think just because a guy wants them sexually, that he wants them for more than that. There are two totally separate games being played. And guys really don't want to date girls that give it up easy...

    • i just noticed I'm just like guys :O

What Guys Said 17

  • A challenge to a guy is a girl that doesn't throw themselves at them and make it seem like you just have to tell them, "Let's F*ck right now", and she'll do it. Or that when she talks to you she has no brain or will of her own, or self confidence. A confident guy needs an equal or else we get bored or uninterested.

  • At first I was like "where did you hear that?! I sure don't like a challenge!" but then I read some of the replies and got to thinking... I agree with the folks saying that guys don't want "easy" girls for a long term relationship. "Easy" girls are great if you are just looking to get laid, but personally I'd rather have a girl that will show me that she's interested in me romanticly without putting out right away. So I guess that's the kind of challenge I like, but I never really thought of that as a challenge. I think that's "normal" heh.

  • I don't like a challenge when it comes to dealing with women or people in general. I prefer challenge in playing competitive games I enjoy, but that's it. When a girl acts in any way other than what comes totally natural, whether its playing aloof/hard to get/whatever, it makes me think she is immature and stupid.

  • a challenge would be something that isn't that easy to grab. they don't want the easy way all the time. for EX. a little kid gets a frisby stuck in a tree and you always give him the ladder. sooner or later he's going to want to do it himself. hope this helps

  • the challenge in most cases is to get you in bed and have sex with the guy... OK. its more refering to one night stand arena.

    Yeah if a guy is looking for a girlfriend what he means by a challenge is for you to go crazy on him so he can try to fix the problem... ie Getting drunk on purpose so your boyfriend can get you home. lol.

    so if guys ONe night stand... he's looking for sex

    guy is looking for relationship... he's looking for you to let him fix your problems( which will mean you getting into the sticky situations so he can bring you back.)

    ie I love going surfing with my female friends cause its a challenge to teach them

    but of late I want a Girlfriend and sex(cause I'm virgin) I want someone to hug, I want someone to share my life with. I don't need it but I want it. kinda like cermonial thing. being a kid to a man. idk

  • just because the saying exists doesn't mean it's true.

    • some guys might, but I certainly don't

  • Think about it like this:

    You have a hoe, who sleep around a lot and is extremely hot.

    And you have a very cute girl, who is a virgin.

    Guys do not like games. They do like a challenge though. So he may get with girl 1 (hoe) for a one night stand or something. But when he runs across girl 2 (virgin), he will be more apt to pursue her, since it will be more of a challenge. Why is it more of a challenge? Because a virgin girl will take her time in losing her virginity making sure she found the right one and all that. This means the guy must prove himself to her.

    You do not have to be a virgin, that was simply a scenario. My point is that you have to be challenging. Not aloof, but make him prove himself to you.

    • girls always make guys prove themselves. at least I do! I thought they hate it though...

  • You called that exactly right. It is hard to explain but I will do my best. It is just human nature to want what we can't have. So if something is more difficult to get then in our minds it is worth having. We also do not want a girl that is no challenge at all to get because if it doesn't take anything to get something then it must be worthless. Guys like a self-reliant woman that doesn't need you in her life but wants to Guys do not like a pushover because you can't respect a pushover. As for us not liking to play games we just want it to be simple communication on what's going on in the relationship but you can't make it to easy either for us. There is a fine line. My best advice is to act with the same characteristics that you find attractive in a man. I hope I was able to help I know what I wrote is kind of confusing.

  • I believe its the girls who like the challenge not guys. I have never heard that in my life!

  • I guess it means guys that enjoy trying to win a girl over who doesn't necessarily like them to begin with. They might enjoy this challenge but it sure doesn't apply to me, I'd rather they like me to begin with.

    although I think 'bhall20' has a more accurate answer.

  • Don't play games, if it doesn't come natural to you then you shouldn't do it, unless maybe someone does it to you first. Playing games actually turns me off to liking the girl after a certain amount of time, depending on how much she does it. I'm not even talking about trying to get sum either, even if I know I can't get some without knowing the girl better, if she plays the ignoring games and stuff, it pisses me off, but at the same time it makes it that much better when you do it back to the person haha. The way I see it is that if your playing games, the whole reason your doing it is to try and manipulate someone to be tricked into liking you, that is not very cool when stepping back and thinking about it if you ask me, I want the person I'm going after to like me for who I really am, not because of some fake games.

  • I thought it was only girls that like challenging guys, not vice-versa

  • guys don't like a challenge

  • a bit but not too much work or challenge. it depends

  • Some guys like challenges, others don't. And those that do each prefer different kinds of challenges.

  • There is nothing wrong with showing interest in a guy you find attractive. Many women pass up great opportunities because they're afraid to put out even the most subtle of signals to the guy they like. If you don't tell us, we won't know.


What Girls Said 9

  • theyre usually talking about sexually. they don't want someone whos easy to sleep with cause that usually means she's most likely slept around a lot and will continue to do this. guys are usually into pure girls sexually and see virgins as a thrill and a challenge. though they could be talking about dating wise meaning they are picky and don't just date anybody or date people they barely know, they need to see you have standards and will put your foot down if those standards aren't met. also the dating thing sometimes also is intertwined with the sexually part.

    • Exactly what I was thinking. We don't want to be like all of the rest of the guys a woman has been with. We HATE games and complicated relationships. We just don't want to be another #. If it is really easy we just assume it has been that easy for every guy before us, and will be for every guy after us. There is nothing special in that. So we really just want to feel different. If a girl is easy with all guys that's fine, some guys don't care at all. If she isn't just letting the guy know helps

    • exactly

    • I think that's it. Guys want a girl who is easy to get to know and easy to get--UP TO A CERTAIN POINT. The point where they want that to stop is before you get physical.

  • dont be too easy/clingy/needy

    dont be impossible to get

    be a challenge that's possible, be nice, stand up for yourself, always tell a guy if you think he's being rude, don't always free your time for your boyfriend you can always say today your going out with your friends (in other word don't say yes to everything say no once or twice) be who you are don't change your self don't be very easy to impress don't be impossible to impress

    i think its all about balance somehow..

    btw I have zero experience (so I'm not sure anything is helpful) but I've read this book and I think it will definatley answer your question + I found it fun to read and its the ONLY book I've ever read cover to cover since primary school its called "why men love bitches"

    • I have that book too lol

    • lol I think the answer is somewhere in the book ;]

  • In my opinion, guys don't like girls who appear too needy or clingy, which means a girl who calls/texts them all the time. It's a girl's natural instinct to contact the guy she likes all the time, but you need to restrain yourself a little, because too much contact initiated by a girl can put a guy off. If you aren't texting him constantly, you have other things to do, which makes you more interesting to him. And yes, the guy sees it as a bit more of a challenge, because he has to turn her attention to him, even though more than likely, she is very interested in him too!

    This isn't game playing, it's just understanding how men's minds work. I bet there isn't a guy on here who wouldn't admit that a girl who constantly texts and calls is not likely to be a girl they want a relationship with!

  • It means they want someone who's not easy.

  • What if a guy told a girl she mean, fiesty, and kinky and his done. what's that suppose to mean

  • I really liked your post

  • but what if the guy gets the girl, the '' perfect girlfriend'' and then after he says he has no challenge?
    What does that mean? That the girl is too easy, boring?

  • i think girls like challenging guys way more than guys like challenging girls

  • don't be clingy. that's what that means