How I Deal With Being Ugly

I am not the most attractive person. I don't attract many guys and the ones I have I only dated them because I thought I would never find someone. I used to hate going out with my friends; people would hit on them and I'd stand by and watch. I take the couple pictures when my friends would invite me out and I'd be the 5th, 7th, etc wheel. A guy I liked all four years of high school eventually dated my friend because she was better looking.

After years and years of feeling worthless and unwanted, of staying in because I don't want people to judge me, I got tired of it. Here's how I deal with it:

I stopped looking in mirrors.

The only time I look in the mirror is so I can do my hair for the day and that's it. I avoid looking at my face as much as possible. Now that I don't see myself very often I don't think about how unattractive I am. When I did look I would try to convince myself I liked what I saw but that wasn't the truth. Now I don't sorry about it. Instead I have an image in my head about how I look and I'm able sustain some type of confidence.

I realized my friends and family accept me for me.

Even though I am unattractive they still found something in me to love. I never feel like I have to hide my face or that I'm inferior to anyone. They are able to see how smart and kind and all that other jazz I am. Because of this I always make sure I do what I can to let them know how special they are to me. I support them all, I'm a wing man, the nice and helpful aunt, sister, daughter and friend.

I stopped trying to get a guys attention.

I've wasted a lot of time being with guys who treated me like shit because I didn't think anyone else would want me. It worked in the beginning but then things would get worse and I would let myself be emotionally abused, being ran over and used. I got tired of that. Now I don't worry about dating at all. I know most people look me and go WTF and trying to convince them otherwise was not working. Letting myself go through that shit was more harmful than anything. I've accepted that I'm going to single for most, if not all, of my life. Why deny it? Guys come and go, but my family and friends will always accept me and that's all I need.

Get a pet.

All animals need is love, shelter and food and they will love you unconditionally. They won't judge you, avoid you or run from you. They accept you and love You with their entire being. I have a dog and a cat and it's the best feeling in the world when I come home and they greet me. They sleep with me, spend the days with me, etc. It's a special bond that can never be broken.

I stopped comparing myself to my friends.

There's nothing to compare. They are beautiful, smart, have goals and people adore them. I will never be like them or keep up with them so I stopped trying. I don't dress up when we go out, I wear what I want. I don't try to present myself when I know I'm going to be shut down anyway so why not do what I want? I enjoy their company and friendship and didn't want to give that up and stopping trying so hard. So yeah, I may get left alone at the bar or dance by myself in the middle of the club while people laugh and stare but at least they're my real friends. They care about me and they want the best for me and that includes accepting my looks. Besides, it's more fun looking completely out of place than trying to fit into a crowd I have no place in.

I do things I enjoy.

I'm a good writer, I'm a very good dancer and I love cooking. Working at these things gives me a confidence boost and goals to work toward. Anytime I feel sad about the way I look or I feel defeated I do one of my hobbies and easily kick those awful feelings to the curb.

I also work on being a unprofessional comedian. Looking at me, it's understandable why I'm funny, silly and sarcastic. Being funny looking gives me material make fun of and make others laugh. I also make some funny comments about others or other things and for some reason people think it's hilarious so I just keep it going.

Being ugly doesn't have to be an end all deal. Yeah I'm unattractive but I'm working it and making the best of it. Beauty fades but you can always be interesting.

How I Deal With Being Ugly


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What Guys Said 33

  • I have to admit that for a woman, being ugly or less than attractive is certainly a lot worse than for a man. The thing is, a man can compensate for bad looks with either money or confidence whereas for a woman, her looks tend to be the sole, defining aspect of her worth. I don't agree with avoiding mirrors, however. That just seems like a form of escapism--avoiding the problem. Instead you should take affirmative action by trying hard to improve your appearance to the best of your ability.

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    • WTF? Defining aspect of her worth? You've got to be kidding me... Since when people's worth is defined by looks? So fucking shallow and sexist.

    • @Daniel961 I never said I agreed with it. I was only relaying what society seems to believe.

    • @Daniel961 "... shallow and sexist." Welcome to American society post 2000.

  • damn those are some good ass bullet points.

    nice

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  • 24d

    I rather be ugly than have a nice personality

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  • I like your take... i am ugly too which is why i can't even get laid. I do admire your self believe. I wish i had that :)

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  • what do you look like anyway?

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  • Welcome to the guy world.

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  • you may think you are bad looking but there will still be a lot of guys who will find beauty in you. For example, i value girls with large dark eyes and dark hair. I find them really really beautiful. Although to other guys this may look like a normal trait or even boring. But to me they are Queens.

    secondly, even if your are ugly. You can still work on yourself and appear way more attractive than other girls. How? work on your body. Start working out, build up that curvy body with nicely shaped strong legs. Start doing squats (make sure you do it the right way) so you can make your butt look 10 times better. Afterwards, if you wear leggings, you are going to kill everyguy who looks at you. Especially me, cause i love legs and ass. Eventually, you will find a guy who values you for your personality (especially if you were really nice, and had a nice spirit) and is willing to look over your looks and having a nice body will just convince him even more in the process of accepting you and being with you.

    Good luck, i think you fall in the first category i mentioned by the way. I rarely ever find girls ugly. Nontheless, you can still use the 2nd advice either way. It will always be better to have a good body.

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  • has to suck to be ugly girl since in female world, looks = everything.

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  • The older you get, the more your relative attractiveness is based on things under your control.

    Age 30 with below average face, good hairstyle, dressed nicely, and in shape (not obsessive, but generally in shape) plus haven't killed skin via smoking/tanning, you're probably above average compared to your same-age peers.

    Just thought i'd throw that out there.

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  • First stop waiting for guys to aprroch you go and ask out a guy whom you think is better for you looks.
    Be poaitive

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  • Well that was depressing lol... I feel most people just accept the way they look instead of trying to improve it... a little effort can go a long way!!

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  • Really good take. I accepted who I am a few months ago and I'm having the time of my life! I stopped comparing myself to others which helps a ton as well.

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  • Im not juz ugly. Im fugly :<

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  • Hit the gym and stop complaining. Pussies! Even a so called "ugly person" can be sexually attractive after hitting the gym... gaining confidence and a killer body. Work on your personality first though. Cut the bullshit and be honest with yourself.

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  • Great! But i doing really think you could be ugly... PM me...

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  • everyone is ugly to someone. I find it's best to not get bent out of shape about it. Looks fade, and eventually that super hot woman/man everyone broke their neck trying to get a second look at will be just another old person who no one looks at even once

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  • I have been called ugly

    10 billion people in the world

    lots of people think i'm " ugly "

    some don't

    i focus on the ones that think i''m cute.

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  • You're ugly and you're proud! (no one cares)

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  • Great take but I wouldn't be throwing around words like ugly or unattractive or ugly, you are just who you are.

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  • Well, I guess everyone can find a person who thinks they are beautiful. People have different taste. But, it is true that for some people it is easier than for others.

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What Girls Said 15

  • I know the struggle, I did a lot of those and I was a lot happier. I'm not happy but I'm less sad with my looks haha

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  • I like this post. Instead of dwelling on what cannot be changed you focus on the positive attributes you have to bring to the table.
    Beauty fades with time.
    Your education and accomplishments is something that can never be taken away.
    Good job !
    You're inspiring many to come to terms with who they are and what they can be if they work on their goals and personality.

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  • nice for you, happy you are feeling better now :)

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  • Very good take
    Eh fuck selfies

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  • Your last paragraph title should have been, "I became a butch, lesbian, buzzfeed feminist."

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  • I'm fugly but still have a boyfriend... I don't know what the fuck he sees in me because he's the most wonderful man in the world, and he's dating this blerb right here. But I don't avoid mirrors or any of that crap, I don't even try to improve my face and my birthmarks anymore. I just accept that I'm ugly and it will never change

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  • Came here to say that everything about this post is extremely accurate, straightforward, practical, altogether well-written. This topic had the potential to be written very poorly---could have just been a woe-is-me-and-my-ugly-face pity-fest, OR you could have gone on for paragraphs trying to convince everyone (including yourself) that EVERYONE is "beautiful" and there's no such thing as not-really-attractive people in this world. But I like that you're practical enough to be able to look in the mirror and think, "Hey, I'm not the best looking chick around, but I've got other things going for me, so it's okay."

    THAT'S the kind of balanced, objective attitude that I wish EVERYONE had.

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  • And now they will exploit you for your lack of self-esteem.

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  • Everyone is beautiful to someone. I think this everyday to give myself some hope. 😔

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  • I am ugly, but I realize when I truly feel beautiful, that beauty overrides my ugly (to a degree), but enuff to where I feel free of being ugly for a while.

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  • there's two types of beauty - objective and subjective

    objective is what you see on magazines - golden ratios, symmetry, etc.
    subjective is everything else

    if you don't consider yourself physically attractive, there's two routes you can go - ignore it or fix it. sounds like you chose the former.

    as for subjective side, it's more powerful than you think. otherwise, people of varying looks would not exist. i have a friend, she's not physically attractive by societal standards but she's extremely charming and has had good guys ask her out. she's aware of her looks. yet no one steps on her. it's a matter of projecting the right aura to people.

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  • hey, spongebob is not ugly

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  • I have the same problem as you except I have a really hard time loving myself. I keep looking at my friends and thinking that they are beautiful and angelic compared to me. Boys don't really like for I am extremely different from all of the other girls at my school. I'm glad you're getting to love yourself, I haven't managed to get there yet, hopefully I will...

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  • I be fugly but still date and look in mirrors. I don't think being fugly has affected my life dramatically. Is this a joke?

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  • I wish I could hug you. *hugs you tightly*🤗🤗🤗
    This will have to do 😅

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