What does the definition of spark mean to men!!!!

[prc10524]

Well here's the story. I have been with my boyfriend for two months we just broke up. He is going to the marines and about 2weeks now he has been pushing me away and he admitted when I had confronted him that I wasn't his type I didn't have that spark but with type he meant personality. I didn't understand because not to long he said he was scared to loose me and that I was everything he has wanted in a girl. He wanted me to give him a hard time, I'm not a bitchy person when it comes to being in a relationship and eventually in time I would of but I didn't feel the need I needed to. I just don't understand at all what he means by that. I'm sad and hurt. Can someone explain to me what this all means!

[pipsqueek]

Thanks for posting this all of you.I found it very helpful indeed. Guys are SO difficult to read sometimes. I've had a similar experience with a guy (an ex-marine btw) I've been dating for 10 months long distance (I'm from the UK, he's American and there's an 11 year age difference and I have a lot of things happening in my life at the moment) We met through internet dating. Personally, I think I had the "spark" with him but maybe because of his pevious experiences or lack of, I think he expected too much from us (two reserved people) and our 2nd physical date - a week of being together after a long time away. I think the advice from Impecable is right on the money and I personally am going to take it. I'm always here for him as a friend and if he wants me as a lover and soulmate when that's even better.I'm a great believer in letting go of the one you love. If its right. He'll come back. But in the meantime I'm going to have a good look around (although my heart won't be in it for a very long while) I hope in time the right man will come along.Thanks again for sharing your views everyone. God bless.

[Anonymous]

ok...the spark thing I bullsh*t. it's something a guy invented because he didn't want to tell a girl he just wasn't interested. so he invented the "spark" as a giant piece of bullsh*t. just helpin out!

[Impecible]

Well, first of all.. I disagree with the anon poster that beat me to this topic.

By spark, someone generally means a feeling of connection that you get with a person that is superior then with someone else. Its sort of hard to explain.. but its sort of a natural comfort and sense of right being with this person. Its a genuine feeling in my opinion, some people you just don't click with even if they are wonderfully intelligent and have a great personality.

Unfortunately, I do not sense that is the case here.. a spark is something you will notice immediately. If you connect with someone, its obvious. Saying that he doesn't feel a spark after 2 months is absurd and obviously a lie.

Whether he is scared about going off to the marines and hurting you in the process.. or trying to move away because he lost his feelings for you... its really anyones guess.

Anyway, I am sorry to hear that things turned out this way.. just take care of yourself and realize that if he loves you, he won't let you slip through your fingers... if not, keep looking.. there are plenty of great men out there.

[prc10524]

I agree withu I think sparks are first hand you notice them right off the bat. he I beleive was scared of going to the marines. he also said to after me constantly bothering him on what happened he said that I have many qualities that he looks for in a girl and that he had a lot of fun with me but time went on for to long. I don't understand that. I'm still so confused he said to give him time but I don't think I will wait. he put me through a lot already

[Impecible]

I understand.. his words send very mixed messages. I wouldn't wait if I were you.. move on and try to find someone else. If he finally realizes what he lost, there will be chances to fix it.. but don't count on it.

[InquisitiveMale]

Two months into a relationship you're still finding things out about your partner. You’re still in explorer mode. It only takes one hiccup to loose focus. However just as easily it could also be he was just blowing hot air. Allot of guys will tell you what they think you want them to say.

[Dekin]

First off, he's joining the Marines or if not he already has.

There is a possibility that something can happen to him while in service.

He's trying to make things less hurtful as possible.

It's the only righteous thing for him to do. Joining military services means lots of sacrifices.